The Devil May Care
by Vilkas
Summary: Caesar Clown, a twisted mad scientist. He thought he had the world all figured out, but then he became a captive of the Straw Hat pirates.
1. Chapter 1

The sun smiled upon the Thousand Sunny and the cheery lion ship danced across the tops of the waves. Laughter could be heard, accompanied by the sound of a violin that rose and fell in time to the merriment. The wind whistled through the laden orange trees to then fill the sails, making the grass sway and tickle a sleeping swordsman in the grove's shade. Sunlight bounced off the polished decks, warming a dark haired woman with a secretive smile as she sat reading a tome. The slams of metal meeting metal, regular and even like a heartbeat, echoed from the depths of the Sunny. At the source of this heartbeat, a massive man grinned as his thoughts took shape beneath his hammer. Sharp commands rang out at intervals from a petite woman by the ship's wheel, causing the joyous chaos to obey her and alter the rigging to match her new course. Savory smells wafted in the air, making a bouncing lad's mouth water and smile as he followed an annoyed yet sharply dressed man laden with trays of food.

The Thousand Sunny and it's crew, seemed to embody adventure, happiness and hope.

He hated it.

Caesar Clown, sat hunched in the darkest corner that could be found on deck and glared at the world around him. The seastone cuffs kept his hands bound and filled with a bone deep exhaustion. The sunlight hurt his eyes. The laughter interrupted his genius thoughts and the wind gave him chills. Not a moment went by when he didn't pine for his dark, sterile and silent lab. To be alone again, with nothing but his genius and science.

It also was a lie.

What the Straw Hats had wasn't real. It was only a matter of time before the false smiles fell away. Before desires and jealousies would shatter this crystalin joy. When a danger they couldn't surmount surfaced and the first betrayal happened. Caesar knew, that the tale of the Straw Hats would end in tragedy. It was the mere fact of life. Humanity, at it's core, was a putrid selfish beast. This sham wouldn't last.

The happy rucus rose to a crescendo when Black Leg finished placing his works of art on a table. Wonderful, the Straw Hats were having lunch on deck. No respite for Caesar. Caesar watched as Black Leg kept at bay the male crew members till the females had seated themselves. Then the rest of the crew descended. As always with this crew, lunch was a chaotic affair. Plates being shuffled, grabbed or tossed to various crew. Black Leg serving and fetching the wants of his mates. Caesar glared. If only he would be allowed below deck. Away from the sun, the laughter and those flimsy smiles. He hadn't been allowed below decks, for fear that he would tamper with the crafter's stations and materials below… a valid concern on their part. He always had to be under the watch of one of the crew. Often one of the females to his dismay, they were perceptive. He watched as the mountain of food dwindled and the feeding frenzy slowed, then as expected, he saw Black Leg leave the lunch table with a plate of food in one hand and glass of water in the other. The man showed him a hard expression all the while managing to look down at Caesar as well. Black Leg stopped just outside the shadows of his corner and placed the plate and water just within the shadow. As the irate man turned to leave he practically growled out.

"Caesar… do you have a problem with my food?" Caesar glared and looked down at the food. It was a lovely dish. Slices of beef marinated and cooked to tender perfection. Grilled vegetables that gleamed in a honeyed glaze and wedge cut fries roasted and dusted with herbs. Caesar honestly had only seen fare of this quality only a handful of times in his life and it was often him watching others eat it. He honestly did try to eat it, Caesar wasn't one to squander luxury, but his fruit power made solids difficult to tolerate. He got all he needed from liquids with no ill effect and the various vapors around him. However he wanted this to be a secret, it was handy to have captors think they were torturing him by depriving him of food. Black Leg, was instead torturing him by feeding him three times a day. The cook's stare hardened as Caesar let the question hang in the air. An insult, should make the cook go away and not care about him.

"Shu-lu-lu-lu! What can I say? What you make isn't up to my standards! I can barely stomach it!" The shadows around the man's eyes deepened and the the ember at the end of his cigaret glowed an angry red as he took deep breath. Caesar kept his grin in place as the man continued to stare at him. A shout from the red haired bitch suddenly had the cook running off, sprinting to fill the woman's order for lemonade.

Caesar picked up the plate and began to pick out nibble at the squash vegetables, those being the foods with the highest concentration of water. He had only managed four pieces when his stomach began to revolt. Devil fruits often came with additional drawbacks to the standard one. After he had consumed his fruit, his body's natural state was no longer solid but varying states between liquid and gas. His body had transitioned even farther from solid after he had experimented and altered his fruit to magnify his powers. In the early days, he had troubles maintaining a semi solid shell around his gaseous core. Placing the plate down he grabbed the glass and drank that down in one go. With the water gone, he longed for more. The sea stone was cutting off his ability to feed on the air, water really was his only option now and he couldn't ask for more without arousing suspicion. A secret was knowledge that was known to only one person, and knowledge was power. Caesar would be damned before he gave secrets out for free. The straw Hats were starving him, despite the cook's best efforts.

That was fine though, he could survive on next to nothing for months. Growing up on the street, you learned that skill or died.

He pushed the plate and cup out into the sunlight for the cook to collect later and leaned back to watch his captors. Lunch for the Straw Hats was now winding down. The cyborg was making a ruckus, striking a pose and shouting about how super the meals was, to which the blond waved off. However he promptly melted into a puddle when the eerie woman smiled and complimented the meal and then returned to her chair and tome. The swordsman collected himself and wandered off to the upper decks, where his weights were. With a cry, a game Caesar now recognized as 'Catch the Skeleton' began. It had the deer, long nose and the captain scrambling after the skeleton that had already zoomed off. As much as Caesar hated to admit it, it was fun to watch Straw Hat snap and bounce all about the ship after the speedy singer. The sniper, not even able to contend with the dead man's speed, was resorting to traps and trick shots. The deer was trying to leap into the rigging and cut off the skeleton's path.

While the game was in full swing, the red haired bitch returned to her steering wheel. Keeping a sharp eye on the skies and log pose. Black leg was seen clearing the table. Caesar avoided looking in his general direction but inevitably the cook came over to his dark corner. The man stood and regarded the dish and then Caesar. Stooping down, he took a long drag of his cigaret and looked Caesar in the eye. This time it was Black Leg that stretched out the silence and after some time Caesar began to squirm slightly under the blond's gaze.

"It's been nearly four weeks since you've been with us, and you've been eating next to nothing." The blond man said in a voice so soft that it took Caesar off guard and he flinched away from the man as if struck. Concern? No, it had to be fake. Yes, it was. Logically, they needed him alive as a pawn in the game against Dolflamingo. Nothing more. He was using fake concern to get Caesar to behave the way he wanted to. No Caesar was the manipulator here, not the other way around. Caesar schooled his expression into a smirk and chuckled at the cook.

"As I said, it's just not up to my standards." He let his smirk stretched into a grin. Black Leg sighed and flicked the ash off his cigaret.

"Look, I'm not going to let anyone starve under my watch. Ever. Not even a piece of shit like you. I will never let anyone to feel the pain of starvation within my power." Black Leg stared at him and the harsh retort Caesar had died at the firm yet sad look the blond was giving him. Instead he frowned at the cook.

"Why the hell do you care what condition I'm in when I'm turned over to Dolflamingo? It's only about three weeks more. When I'm turned over, I'll be able to eat _properly_ again then." Caesar spat out and the cook regarded him with a hard look.

"Pride is a foolish reason to starve over." With that Black Leg collected the plate and made his way back to his domain, the kitchen. Caesar fiddled with his chains as he watched the blond leave. As good as they seemed to be, it was a lie. No one cared if he lived or died. People only cared what you could do for them. Dolflamingo wanted him for SIMLE. Big Mom wanted him for her dreams of giants. Straw Hats wanted him as leverage over Dolflamingo. Life was a vicious game, where you took anything or used anyone you could or you died, forever forgotten in an alley. Caesar knew what the truth of humanity was. Starvation, saving every penny for that exam fee, searching dumpsters for food and books… Caesar knew starvation all too well. He watched the the cook carefully wrap his plate and store it away. Caesar growled and looked away, over the edge of the ship, towards the ocean. It was all a lie.


	2. Chapter 2

Yet another gloriously sunny and hot day on the Thousand Sunny, much to Caesar's displeasure. It was unusually quiet however, the only occasional sounds coming from the lone Straw Hat left on the ship. Quiet, something that Caesar had almost forgotten existed since he boarded this damned ship. Straw Hats did nothing quietly, they couldn't even sleep quietly and Caesar had the bags under his eyes to prove it. Though, not a truly quiet day, this was far better a day than most.

Comfortably settled into his dark corner on deck, he watched his current guard fuss and tinker with the materials in front of him. Long Nose was probably one of the more interesting of the Straw Hats to Caesar, he seemed to try to use his head. Fighting with him had almost been fun, seeing the sniper's theories and countering them. It had nearly been a scientific debate, well as far as fights went. The sniper seemed to be spending this time to mix and prepare ammunition.

Caesar noted some of the fairly explosive liquids and powders scattered about the man. This was the wisest time to work with such materials, Caesar supposed, with the crew gone ashore to resupply. There would be no boisterous captain to bounce by and disturb the various explosive or toxic powders. No swordsman to to confuse the liquid bases for alcohol to be drunk. No red haired banshee to scream and issue demands of Long Nose as he made delicate volatile mixtures.

After some hours of observation, Caesar came to the conclusion that the marksman's talents mostly lay in material working. Tinkering with devices and shaping ammunition shells with a grace that Caesar had to begrudgingly respect. However, the sniper was simply barbaric when it came to chemistry. Caesar flinched whenever the Straw Hat sunk his oily and sweaty hand into the base powders, forever contaminating the batch. Shivered when the dark skinned pirate simply shook a beaker to mix a solution. Nearly groaned when he repeatedly recreated the same explosive formula as a base for each of his different ammunitions. This was like watching a child finger paint with the same two colors over and over again.

"Why are you ignoring the dragon gland ichor you have? It's superior to the king turtle venom if flame is what you're going for." Caesar couldn't help but smirk as the man nearly jumped out of his skin. Then violently flailed about to catch the beakers he had been holding. He didn't drop anything, to Caesar's dismay. Watching Long Nose accidentally set himself on fire would have been hilarious. It had been each time a new lab intern had gone up in flame back when he was with the Marine Science Core.

Carefully placing the beakers down and shooting Caesar a dirty look, the pirate picked up the beaker that Caesar had mentioned. The bright aqua liquid innocently gleamed in the sunlight. The sniper eyed the mentioned liquid and gas man warily. After what looked like a long and difficult internal debate on the Straw Hat's part he slowly and carefully responded.

"Because it's too volatile, I've had problems where it burst in my pouch when I've taken a fall or a hit." Caesar leaned forward with an arrogant smirk.

"I've been watching you coat the insides of the shells with a paste you made from mer scales as an insulator for your explosives. On your left you have Denga fruit nectar, it's expensive to use as an insulator, but if you add that to your mer scale paste, that should keep the dragon gland ichor from activating too soon." The dark skin man then regarded the tiny vial of viscous purple gel he had, his brow furrowed in deep thought.

"I… could do that, but isn't that not enough to keep the dragon gland ichor stable?" Caesar's happiness rose, the boy wasn't completely stupid.

"Shu-lu-lu-lu! You're right! Normally, with just that, the mixture would just explode after some time as the insulator deteriorated. But you've been using a high grade of king turtle venom and at large percentages too, have you ever wondered why it hasn't exploded on you yet? Of course you haven't, the clay you're making your capsules from is from Alabasta isn't it? That tint of white is a tell-tail trait. The clay from that region absorbs acidity you know, only very small amounts but enough to strengthen your insulator." The marksman looked a mix of insulted, surprised and intrigued.

"Ok, I see what your saying about the Denga fruit nectar, but what about this giant horsefly spit? I have more of it on hand, could I use that?" and with that Caesar and the boy began to discuss the sniper's collection of materials, their qualities and their possible combinations. It was gradual, but with each question and answer the Straw Hat and his station shifted closer to Caesar's dark corner, till eventually he was only five or so feet away from the shadowy boundary of the gas man's corner.

Soon the sniper gained enough confidence and began to try Caesar's suggestions. The pale man found himself crouched at the edge of his shadowy corner. Brimming with anticipation, as science always brought forth. He watched the man finish sealing the first bullet. The marksman then stood looking at the bullet. Caesar noted his pause and then saw the way he was warily looking at the new creation and then back at Caesar. He was most likely remembering to distrust Caesar. Then, Long Nose squared his shoulders and reached into his pouch, pulling out a small green slingshot and a stone. With slingshot in one hand and both stone and the new bullet in the other, Caesar wasn't sure what the sniper was going to do. Test the new shot on the captive? That would be a good test of the new bullet. Caesar himself understood the benefits of accurate testing quite well but, with his seastone shackles, he wouldn't weather the assault well. Caesar was suddenly regretting letting his love of science get the better of him. What was he thinking? Helping Long Nose make better bullets? Why not help the Cyborg make him a coffin while he was at it?

Caesar was suddenly sweating bullets as he watched the sniper facing him. The dark skinned pirate suddenly turned away, towards the open ocean. He raised his slingshot and slotted the stone. The stone flew with a quiet wail and the the sniper immediately fired the new bullet after the stone. The two collided in the air some yards off.

The resulting explosion nearly knocked the sniper off his feet and the wave of heat caused Caesar to shield his face. Caesar couldn't help but grin at the dumbfounded look on the Straw Hat's face. The following silence stretched out and the pale man basked in the stunned sniper's reaction.

"Well, what do you know. You're actually are smart." Caesar's mood instantly soured. No, his intellect would not be belittled. Chain him, fine. Torture him with sunlight and lies, fine. This… this however was going too far, he had paid far too much for his intelligence to let this slight slide.

"Correction, I am a scientific _genius_. I'll have you know. However, I shouldn't expect the weakest of the Straw Hats to know the difference!" Caesar yelled at the sniper and the Straw Hat looked taken aback by the sudden outburst. He recovered quickly though and shot back.

"I might be the weakest of the crew, but I was still the one that caught you! So that makes you weaker than me!" They glared at one another, the sniper standing in a wide stance looking down at the crouching Caesar. Caesar was the first to look away and slinked back to his corner. Human interaction and confrontations had never been his strong suit, besides Long Nose was right, he had been captured by the sniper. If it weren't for Long Nose, he wouldn't be stuck on this ship of lies.

Caesar made a point of ignoring the sniper. He sat with his back turned towards the pirate, it meant that he was practically facing a wall, but that was fine. Soon he heard the clinks of glass and the clanks of tools as the marksman returned to his work.

Time stretched on and Caesar was positively stewing in gloominess. The sniper's words had him looking back. Only a short time ago, he was the master of a massive lab. With two great powers funding his science, he had not been at want for funds and even had a small army of gullible and loyal minions. Now he was on this shining boat, shackled, powerless, cut off from feeding on air and a mere pawn. Alright, he had always been nothing more than a pawn in life but he had fought, worked, schemed and manipulated for all his worth to climb up to be a notable pawn. A pawn that was safe from simply being killed outright by the greater powers. A pawn that had resources and freedom to pursue his dreams, his science. Then the Straw Hats appeared, them with their flimsy smiles, and everything that he had spent his life attaining, was gone. All that work and sacrifice for nothing.

"O-Oi, uh, sorry. I didn't mean to call you dumb." The marksman's voice interrupted Caesar's thoughts. Caesar took a moment to look over his shoulder at the sniper. The man was looking down, hand anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. In front of the sniper sat several new rounds of bullets. Based on how empty the vial containing dragon gland ichor was, Caesar guessed that these were all using the recipe that he had just taught the Straw Hat. The pale man took a moment to send a pointed glare at the pirate and then returned to inspecting his wall.

Caesar heard some footsteps, a rustle of cloth and then a thump of something hitting the wood deck but the pale man was too upset to turn and look in the sniper's direction.

"I should have thanked you, rather than say something that wasn't very nice. The bullets you helped me make are alot stronger than my last batch of flaming stars. I'll be able to help and protect my friends better now, so thanks." Caesar's frown deepened. Lies, again. He helped the sniper gain a stronger attack, true, but to use it to protect and aid his 'friends'? Hah, no, the only reason to get stronger in life was to be able to better protect yourself.

Caesar's thoughts were rudely interrupted again by a massive explosion coming from the island. The shock waves rolled out, causing the ocean waves to intensify and make the Thousand Sunny merrily bob up and down. He heard the marksman chuckle.

"Well, I guess we'll be seeing the others soon and leaving this island in a hurry." Caesar heard movement behind him and looked over his shoulder again. He watched as the sniper got up from sitting near the shadow bound of his corner and hurried to collect his materials. Caesar continued to stare at the dark skinned man as he scurried about the deck. The sniper hadn't denied being called the weakest, yet when given a little more power, he was thinking of using it to help his more powerful 'friends' and not his status among the crew. Either the pirate was suicidal or was fairly confident that the ones he was defending wouldn't betray him. Caesar sneered. He dimly recalled days of fighting tooth and nail over scraps with the same urchins that he had been laughing with and called family only the day before. The Straw Hats would inevitably betray or abandon each other, he'd seen this before.

Caesar scowled and did his best to ignore the strange pangs in his chest as the sniper joyously greeted his comrades when their sprinting figures came into sight.


	3. Chapter 3

Caesar was overjoyed, finally, a wonderful day by his standards. The heavens, a solid wall of black with smatterings of lightning writhing like snakes. The booms of thunder, one after the other, causing the ship to shake. Rain and hail coming down in torrents so strong, one might think the sky was weeping for a dead lover. The pale man grinned and leaned closer to the window, the water and ice pounding on the ship's walls and thunder roaring in anger. A more soothing melody to Caesar than any the skeleton could ever conjure. The best part was how the storm was almost loud enough to drown out the noise of the straw hats.

All the devil users had been sent into the aquarium chamber and the others remained on deck at the Red Harpy's orders. Caesar had managed to climb up to the room's top windows, some ten or so feet above the room's floor. Comfortably perched on the deep window sill. He was very pleased, a perfect view of the beautiful nightmare of a storm and a lofty watch of the other Straw Hats in the room with him. None of them would be able to sneak up on him in this position. The erie woman was closest to him, as it was her shift to watch him. She sat near the center of the room by a small table. The ever present tome in hand and more stacked on the table beside her. Caesar idly noted that her current book was a historical recounting of the various Celestial Dragon dynasties and their accomplishments. The pale man snorted, a history of them taking the credit of others' accomplishments would be more accurate… but it was the ones with power that wrote history. Laughter bubbled on the other side of the room. The skeleton, deer and captain switched from ogling fish in the tank, charades, musical sing-a-longs and back again.

Time passed and the storm didn't relent to Caesar's gleeful delight and the Straw Hat's dismay. He could hear the complaints of the captain, crying out for the cook to serve food. Only to be reminded that Black Leg, along with the others, were fighting the storm by the skeleton. Food would probably be late today. The cries of sadness from the captain and deer were soon quieted with a soothing song from the dead man. The deer was soon snuggling into the musician's boney lap. The rubber boy sat before the dead man, with a huge smile and swaying in time to the song. Caesar noted that the dark woman was just finishing her last book, this one a compilation on theories of the Elbaf religions. The pale man was about to return to storm watching when a smooth voice caught his attention.

"Caesar-san, do you know how to play chess?" The horned man was startled at the sudden question and looked down at the woman. His gaze was met by unnervingly steady and calm eyes. After a lifetime spent in the various underdarks of the world, Caesar knew a dangerous mark when he saw one. Nico Robin, was a very dangerous person. One didn't have stone eyes and the calm of a graveyard from an honest life. Caesar wondered how many people she had climbed over, how many she had sacrificed. More? Or less than him? Now, more than ever, was a time to not show weakness.

"I know the game." Caesar admitted slowly and the woman made a serene smile that didn't reach her eyes. This woman, knew the truth of life. She could lie and make false pretenses as well as he could. Why did she tolerate the Straw Hats? What did she have to gain from them? Protection? There were much stronger forces in the world that she could have aligned with. With an elegant gesture, arms sprouted along the floor. One set carried a chair to her table, another returned with a chess set.

"Come sit Caesar-san, looks like the storm will be here for a while yet." Caesar watched as she opened the game and began to set it up. He wasn't certain what to do. He knew the game well, he learned it since it was a favored game amongst the head scientists back at the Marine Science Core. He had needed to get on friendly terms with the department heads in order to manipulate them into promoting him. Making them to take the time to recognize his genius accordingly. However, he had nothing to gain by playing chess with this dangerous woman.

The lady paused and looked up at him, noting how he hadn't moved. She tilted her head and smiled at him again.

"Don't worry Caesar-san, I'll give you queen or rook odds if you are not feeling confident." That had him jumping off the sill and stomping angrily towards the newly placed chair. The chains of his shackles swayed and clanked with each step. How dare she. How dare she assume a genius like him needed a handicap. He was going to crush her in this game.

The game began. Caesar secured territory with his pawns and bishops. The eerie woman leaped forward with her knights. Caesar was unsurprised by the aggressive tactic, it matched her stone eyes. She was trying to unbalance him with an early vicious strike. Clever, but that wouldn't work against him. The pale man sacrificed some pawns, and had his rooks roll deep into the field.

"Caesar-san, you are quite good at this game." His hand faltered at the compliment while touching a piece and his chains fell onto the board, knocking a few pieces over. She was quick to react. The dark woman grabbed his chain, stopping it from hitting the rest of the board. Her hands then flew and reset the jarred pieces. One of the pieces, he noted, was put back incorrectly, but in a position to his favor. The pale man retracted his hands quickly, tugging his chain out of her grasp. It was bad enough that he was shackled, he didn't need to be held like a dog on a leash as well.

"My apologies Caesar-san, I shouldn't have asked you to play a board game since your hands are bound." His displeasure must be showing on his face. He was losing his touch amongst all this Straw Hat insanity. He quickly schooled his features into a calm mask.

"No, my apologies for my clumsiness. I'll be more careful going forward." He paused, he had been intending to move his knight behind his rook, poised to strike at the queen and check the king, but the misplaced piece gave his bishop an easy move to check her king. The dark woman was busy looking at the board, she seemed to not have noticed the misplaced piece. Caesar frowned, had this been a second or a third game, he would have taken advantage of her error. However, this was a match of his intellect against hers. She was the sharpest of the Straw Hats… as he had intended from the beginning, after her slight, he was going to crush her completely and throughly with his skills.

"Pardon me, but could you move your knight back to E4?" Without missing a beat, she shifted the knight back to it's original square. The horned man's eyes narrowed. She had misplaced the knight on purpose, why? What did she have to gain from weakening her position?

"My apologies Caesar-san, I was too caught up in thinking about my strategy and misplaced the knight. You have good eyes, good enough to find the mark." Caesar responded before he could stop himself.

"And quick enough to dodge the bat." Caesar felt the blood drain from his face and he looked at the devil woman. She was smiling again, this time, it reached her eyes.

"Ah, so that's how you manage to get by on so little. You have Sanji-san quite worried you know." Caesar reached for his knight and placed it behind his rook. So she had lived on the street too, only way to know a pickpocket saying like that. One that was used as sort of a blessing, goodbye and praise in those circles. Luck to find money or food and speed to get away from the policemen's batons. Her bishop moved in response to his knight, but it was in vain. One of his pawns pushed towards her king.

"I promise you Caesar-san, the food is safe. Sanji-san would never allow food to be poisoned. Also, subterfuge like that, just isn't the Straw Hat way." She had her knight desperately try to assist the king, only to be struck down by Caesar's waiting bishop.

"Like I told Black Leg earlier, the food just isn't up to my standards and what, pray tell, is the Straw Hat way? Check." She had finally moved one of her rooks, but it was far too late. The horned man's knight charged, viciously taking her queen. His rook was now at the mercy of her bishop, but the devil woman's king was in check by by his knight. The woman smiled as if she wasn't losing the game.

"To face the day with a smile. To believe and support your friends with everything you have. To run towards your dreams at full speed." She paused and sent the rubber boy a fond look and then continued. "Giving you corrupted food wouldn't be a possible action for this crew, you need not reject it." She moved her king out of the knight's reach. Caesar sneered and moved his rook forward for the killing move.

"Checkmate. To speak of fanta-" Caesar was cut off by a shout from the captain as the rubber boy practically flew out the door with deer and skeleton close behind him. The storm had cleared to Caesars sorrow, but that meant he was allowed to return to his safe dark corner on deck, away from this devil woman.

Caesar then did something he never thought he'd do. He muttered a hurried thanks to the woman for the game and then tried to scrambled after the rubber captain. Her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before he could make it far.

"I used to think like you once. My time here, with this crew, has shown me that evil isn't born. It's made. Don't be afraid Caesar." He was taken aback by the bright yet determined light in the woman's eyes and the fierce grip on his arm. Her look of confidence and hope urging him to… do what he didn't know. After an awkward silence, the dark woman let go of his wrist. The pale man stumbled back and clutched his arm to his chest, as if burned. Caesar eyed the woman the same way one would eye a dangerous sea king.

The eerie woman returned to putting away the chess set and the horned man took that as an opportunity to get away, back to his dark corner on deck. Just as he reached the door, the woman called out to him.

"Thank you for the game Caesar-san and congratulations on your victory!" Caesar scowled, pushed the door open and stepped out into the sunshine. It didn't feel like a victory.

* * *

 **Author Note:** I am shooting to post a chapter each Monday evening. So updates should happen in that ballpark. Remember, reviews fan the flames of creativity and invoke the possibilities of paths yet unseen. They really do help get the story out on the page and make me think about direction that I wouldn't have otherwise.


	4. Chapter 4

The Red Harpy glared at him and Caesar wondered about what he had done to deserve this.

By the general public's opinion, Caesar supposed, she was a beauty. Long red tresses spilling down her back like a waterfall. Large crystalline blue eyes glared at him. Delicate hands rested on large curving hips. She stood just outside the shadows of his corner, in a wide stance and looking down her nose at him. She was practically naked. Wearing a bikini where the top barely had enough material to cover her nipples and the bottom wouldn't have been enough to function as a tissue. Normally, Caesar didn't have a problem with such scanty attire, the opposite actually, but he liked them on women who wore it for a reason. That the garb indicated that they were open to… 'negotiation'. That meant he was free to look, free to make deals with them. Goals on both sides were clear, both parties parted ways happy. This woman dressed like a whore yet pranced about like a queen. He knew of her past, 'Cat Burglar of the East Blue' and knew she was clever, but how she presented herself and acted, left Caesar feeling underwhelmed. Still, she was Straw Hat's royal bitchess and her word was effectively law on this ship.

The woman's glare narrowed as he didn't respond and Caesar sunk deeper into his corner. The Red Harpy then took a large intimidating step into the shadows of his corner. Caesar did not like where this was going.

"I said, you are going up to the stern with me. It's my turn to watch you and sunbathing is best on the stern." She snapped out as she advanced towards him. This wasn't good, he wouldn't do well in the sun, especially since he was cut off from the air. Caesar desperately looked about the deck, looking for Nico Robin. She alone, had a chance to talk the bitchess out of this idea. A lowly prisoner like him had no sway and the rest of the crew instantly gave into the Red Harpy. To his sorrow, he only saw the captain, sniper and deer playing a game on the other side of the deck. He was doomed to do as the Red Harpy demanded.

He began to get to his feet but the bitchess had long since lost patience with him. She was now deep into the shadows of his corner and grabbed his chains. She then proceeded to drag him in the general direction of the stern. Caesar did his best to not fall and stumbled after the woman pulling on his chains. He silently hissed as the shackles bit into the tender flesh under them. He had been wearing these bindings for scores of days now, every now and then blood would ooze out from under them, but not enough to make a fuss over. He didn't need the deer on his case in addition to Black Leg.

Eventually, they made it to the stern. Caesar saw that the Red Harpy had already set up a lounge chair for herself with a small table beside it. Caesar gazed at the jug of lemonade next to a pair of sunglasses on the table, it looked delicious but he knew better than to expect the bitchess to share. He wouldn't have shared either. If anything, he was more worried about how this meant Black Leg wouldn't be coming to visit the Red Harpy anytime soon with a new drink. Caesar was in trouble, he hated sunlight.

The bitchess pulled him to the ship railing in front of the chair. She then made him kneel and stick one of his arms through the railing. Then with a padlock in her hand, that Caesar couldn't even begin to guess where she had kept, took his hands and made them meet above the railing. With a quick practiced snap of her wrist, the padlock went through two loops of chain. Caesar was now effectively forced to hug the railing banister from beneath it. The worst thing was that he was in direct sunlight.

He watched the bitchess skip back to her chair. She laid down upon it and and put the sunglasses on. Caesar watched her, hoping that she would realize the she forgot an umbrella for him or even some water, but minutes passed and she didn't stir.

"Uh, excuse me, Nami could I go-" He was cut off by a sharp retort.

"Quiet Caesar, I need to maintain my tan and watch you. I drew the shortest straw this morning. Besides, being so pale, getting a little tan might make you look less like a demonic ghost." Caesar ground his teeth and rested his head on the railing. He'd been in prison often enough throughout his life to know that the pecking order was what to live by. The captain was at the top, though he abstained in non-critical situations and even let himself be overruled by his crew to the pale man's confusion. Then came Nico Robin, though she too held her tongue more often than not. Then came the bitchess. She was the one that decided the plan, set the course and handled the funds. He was at the bottom, a reviled burden. She wouldn't give him the time of day, none of them would.

The sun blazed down on the two. An hour passed and Caesar could feel himself burning up. His inner gasses rolling about and expanding in his chest from the heat, making him feel nauseous. What little water vapors he had, were leaving him, making his world spin. He barely registered the Red Harpy's voice.

"Do you feel even a little bit of regret making those gas weapons?" Caesar lifted his head slightly to look at the woman. She was stunning, lying there, glowing in the sunlight from the tanning lotions she had applied. His vision swam and he leaned his head back against the railing.

"No." There was a small stretch of silence.

"You're a monster." The petite female snapped and this had him looking at her again.

"On what grounds?" He frowned, the bitchess wasn't even bothering to look in his direction.

"What do you mean 'On what grounds'? It's obvious, you made a weapon that causes hundreds, if not thousands of people, to sicken and die and you don't feel any regret. You're simply a monster." Caesar's anger rose and his head began to throb.

"Then do you call the ones who invented the sword or the gun monsters as well? What of dynamite? Or the advent of lead paint? Is it the creator's fault or the one who uses it? Let me tell you, true, I invented it. Due to my genius, it was invented in this decade but the marines employ scores of scientists. One of them, eventually, probably twenty or thirty years from now, would have made something, not nearly as impressive as mine, but similar. It's all done to combat pirates, like you. Pirates that ignore the law and raise chaos wherever you go. Pirates that scare the citizens of the world government and cause them to take measures against you pirates. I ask you, who is the real monster here?" Caesar chuckled.

"Shu-lu-lu-lu! This is all grand though, to be called monster by the 'Cat Burglar of the East Blue'. I've heard tales of your work for the Arlong pirates. Of all the men and pirates that you've tricked out of their riches and lives for that fishman. This is the kettle calling the pot bla-" He was cut off when the bitchess' towel hit him. He looked over at her and she was sitting up, skin red and chest heaving in rage. Her glasses had slid down and she was gripping the tattoo on her shoulder. The Red Harpy was giving him a look of pure fury and Caesar wondered if she was going to attack him but he didn't care right now. His head hurt too much.

"You don't know anything about me or that time. I'm not the monster. Arlong was and so are you! Shut up!" She hissed with venom. With that she fixed her sunglasses and returned to sunbathing, not sparing him another thought.

Another hour passed and Caesar burned. He could feel his exposed skin roasting. His chest, the trapped gasses, feeling like it was about explode. It was funny, he didn't have his heart right then, but he felt his pulse racing. He supposed the slow pounding in his head, however, could replace a heartbeat. He miserably wondered when the Red Harpy would finish her sunbathing or if Black Leg would manifest soon with dinner. Then he could return to his dark corner.

More time passed, and Caesar began to feel… comfortable in the heat. Like a warm bed in the dead of winter. His eyelids were so heavy. He wasn't really leaning against the railing anymore, but hanging from his shackles. Yelling, it sounded like the Red Harpy was shouting at him, from a distance. What did he do now? Things around him continued to fade, but that was alright. He was tired of this bright ship.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _Where is Law?_ \- For the sake of the story and the direction I wanted to go, Law is currently not with the Straw Hats. He is elsewhere, but is going to be catching up to the crew before they reach the final destination. Law, is a serious ball of angst and would be fighting with Caesar for the 'most gloomy' title on the ship. Let us focus on our favorite mad scientist.

 _General_ \- You guys are awesome and have a very good insight. Your feed back and support has been a great help in getting the muses to stay and play! I try to portray the other Straw Hat's in Caesar's arrogant, pessimistic and paranoid view. He sees everything as a possible threat or a disservice to himself if possible, thus why Nami seems extra witchy spelled with a 'b' above.


	5. Chapter 5

The Straw Hat's had gathered in Sanji's kitchen.

Luffy sitting high on a stool by the bar, his face unusually grim and his body still. To his right, sat Zoro at the other end of the bar, his three swords ever present, and in his hands a tankard. However the green haired man was nursing the drink rather than attempting to drink the kitchen dry like he did most other days. To the Captain's left, Sanji manned the sink, washing dinner's dishes. No soft humm could be heard from the cook and he was going through cigarettes at twice the normal rate. At the table sat Robin, Franky, Ussop and Nami. Robin, ever the calm sentinel. Sitting elegantly at the table, with her ankles tucked beneath the other and hands folded in her lap. However her shoulders were stiff and the cup of tea in front of her was untouched. Franky sat at the end of the table, guitar in hand, quietly strumming it. No upbeat tunes coming from the massive man. Usopp sat hunched over the table, hands folded together, brow furrowed. Nami sat at the other end of the table, closest to Luffy's perch. She too was hunched over the table, hands covering her eyes and shoulders occasionally shaking. The crew sat in relative silence, waiting.

At last, the door to the kitchen opened and all eyes rested on Chopper, the ship's doctor. The little deer made his way towards the group, each tiny hoofstep making a loud tap on the wooden floor.

"He's stable, Brook is with him now in case he wakes up." There was a collective sigh of relief.

"It's my fault, I got mad at him and then ignored him. The next time I looked up, he was unconscious and shaking. I was supposed to be watching him.. I-I knew he clung to shadows but I thought that was just to keep away from us, I-" Hurried hoofsteps could be heard as Chopper climbed up onto the bench next to Nami, his little hooves gipping her elbow.

"Nami, it's not your fault. The two of you were on the stern for a little over four hours, I'm as shocked as you that he managed to suffer heat stroke just from that. If anyone's at fault, it's me as the ship's doctor, I should have noticed that Caesar was weakening. Between the seastone drain and the malnutrition I should have-." There was a loud clank of dishes as Sanji set them down with an unusual amount of force.

"That… is my fault. I knew Caesar had been eating next to nothing since he got on our ship. It's been weeks. He's been an ass when I ask him about it and I've been trying different dishes, to see if he was a picky eater or had allergies. Nothing. He seemed fine, so I didn't want to worry you Chopper over that little shit… but I should have told you and the rest of the crew about it. I'm sorry Nami, this could have been avoided." Silence fell upon the crew.

"We are all at fault here." Came the calm voice of Robin. "Some of us noticed oddities about Caesar-san and others of us ignored him entirely. I also ignored him until I noticed Sanji-san's worry. I attempted to question Caesar-san in my own way, but I didn't pursue my questions far enough." The blond looked shocked that his stress had been noticed and the dark woman offered him a strained smile. The faint clank of metal could be heard as Franky shifted to speak.

"We're lucky we have the chance to do better, he's our captive. It's our responsibility to Law and to our collective honor to look after the creepy bastard." At this Usopp snapped.

"How are we supposed to do that if he doesn't tell us that he feels sick? Or if needs to eat in a special way or not? I was talking to him just a week ago and he seemed fine! How-" He was cut off by Zoro.

"If you were held captive by the Marines. Would you expect them to care? Would you tell them your strengths, needs or weaknesses?" The swordsman's lone eye bore steadily into the sniper and the latter deflated.

"When you put it that way… no I wouldn't. I would say as little as possible and try to figure out how to get away, but we're not cruel like Marines, he should know that."

"Should he? How so? We arrived by chance at his lab, effectively destroyed his stronghold and took him prisoner in under a day." Robin paused, and took a sip of her untouched tea and then continued.

"Franky-san is right, we can pool what we know about Caesar-san and figure out what to do. During the storm, I managed to confirm one of my suspicions. He began life, or spent much of his childhood, as a street urchin. For this reason, he is an expert at ignoring hunger and managing starvation. I also suspect that upbringing, is a major factor in his exceptionally dark and apathetic mannerisms. Learned as self defence or coping mechanisms that has stayed with him to adulthood."

No one commented on how familiar Robin seemed to be with that situation. Sanji looked positively grim and was reaching for new box of cigarettes. Nami looked up, and for the first time that evening, looked hopeful.

"I see, so you're saying Robin, that even if he wasn't our prisoner, he's predisposed to not trust anyone. We have to make him let us help him." The navigator paused and looked from Robin, to Luffy and then to Chopper.

"He's a devil fruit user right? Should we keep him bound in seastone?" Chopper frowned at this.

"Seastone, does severely weaken devil fruit users. It nullifies powers and weakens the body. For this reason, his immune system, energy levels and recovery rates are much lower. We also run the risk of him getting seastone poisoning the longer we have him touching the stone, but we can't afford letting him off the seastone." Nami sat up straight, thoughts actively swirling in her eyes.

"Ok, so seastone isn't helping him. Does it affect users in different ways?" The architect responded.

"The advent of seastone bindings and weapons is a relatively new one. There isn't enough research out there to prove or disprove that it does. However, you are on the right path Nami-san, just not looking in the right direction. Fruit users, differ from one another but we can be lumped into three categories. Luffy and I are both Paramecia type. While our tolerances to lacking food differs, we both consume massive amounts of calories." Franky raised his shades and gave Robin a quizzical look.

"Luffy I believe, but you? You seem to eat a normal amount of food." Robin smiled.

"You often see me drinking tea or other beverages throughout the day, Sanji-san, how many sugars do you put into my tea normally?"

"Seven teaspoons, ten if we had a fight recently." Sanji responded, not missing a beat as he resumed managing dishes. Franky and Usopp both looked shocked as they suddenly realized the average sugar intake of the dark woman. The Cyborg turned to look at Chopper.

"And you little bro? How much do you eat?" Chopper's ears twitched and he seemed a little off balance. Apparently, the doctor wasn't used to talking about himself.

"I'm a Zoan type and I eat normal amounts of food, however, I can eat less and function fine. I also can go longer without food and not feel hungry. I suspect that Zoan types, while not as explosively strong as some other fruit types, are hyper efficient in energy management." Nami massaged her temples.

"Caesar is a Logia type right? He has the Gas-Gas fruit." Robin and Chopper nodded in agreement to this statement. "What do we know about Logia type fruits?"

Silence was met in response to Nami's question. Robin gazed thoughtfully into her teacup. Franky shifted into his version of the thinker's pose, as always, over the top. The cyborg's right leg bouncing in place and his jaw rested on a closed fist with his lower lip jutting out. Time passed and the crew silently brainstormed.

"Smoker... is a seriously annoying bastard." The swordsman drawled out and took a large swig of his tankard. Sanji piped up.

"How the hell does that help us you idiot?" Zoro smirked.

"It's something we know, the lightning and sand bastards are also annoying." A long and drawn out groan was heard from the sniper.

"Ok, ok. Yes, all three are scary pieces of work, but, besides their powers, how did their fruits change them?" The marksman slumped down onto the table again, head held up with his fists. The silence was interrupted with a loud hum from their captain. He was now sitting cross legged on his stool, arms folded.

"Ace ate alot of food, dunno about Sabo after he ate the Flame Flame Fruit." The rubber man then furrowed his brow with an intensity that suggested thinking might be causing him pain.

"... and Crocodile got stronger if he sucked water out of you!" The captain looked at Robin with a smile.

"You're right Luffy, Sir Crocodile did get stronger when he drained his victims. I don't know if he ate though, he was a very suspicious and secretive man. I saw him rarely drink when entertaining high profile guests but I never saw him eat in public." The crew fell into another lull of silence.

"There was one thing that the little shit did say, that I keep thinking about." All eyes shifted to the cook as he paused and took a long drag of his cigarette.

"Typically, when I ask him what the hell is his problem is with my food, he'll come up with a crappy insult. Last time, I think he got fed up with me asking, and said another insult, but an even shoddier one than normal. He said that after he got turned over to Dolfamingo, he would be able to eat _properly_ again. Not something about quality or my face ruining his appetite or even that he hates the way I cut vegetables." The Swordsman snorted.

"He's right though, your face ruins my appetite all the time too." The green haired man wore a shit-eating grin and the blond's glower promised retribution.

"Not now you two." Nami snapped and gave the two men a glare that said that she would finish the next fight herself. The two men quietly muttered parting shots at each other but held their peace.

"Sanji, you said that he ate next to nothing. Caesar ate sometimes? What did he eat?"

"Yes Nami-swan, two or three bites once a week or so. Never any meat or grains. He only touched vegetables and fruits. Even then only certain ones." The blond took another drag, and his foot was anxiously tapping the floor. The crew knew that Sanji could handle most picky eaters with ease, but Caesar was clearly driving the man up and over a wall.

"Squash, celery, spinach, peaches and watermelon." The cook clicked his tongue. ""One day he surprised me with eating a third of a watermelon slice." Franky spoke up.

"So that's why you were looking for watermelons at the last jungle island curly-bro. That was pretty super of you." Sanji nodded and silence fell on the crew.

Sanji took this time to doll out beverages. He refilled Robin's tea. Gave water to Usopp and Nami. The cyborg took a new cola with enthusiastic thanks. Luffy was given a leg of meat. Then Sanji threatened to give swordsman water rather than ale. Another fight was beginning to brew between the two men when Usopp spoke up. The marksman had lifted his cup half way off the table and had stopped. The sniper was staring at his drink, his eyes bright.

"Oi! Sanji! What about potatoes or bananas?" The cook paused his well aimed kick and the swordsman politely abandoned his counter attack.

"He never touched potatoes or bananas in any form." The sniper surged forward.

"What about water? How often did you give him water? Did he drink it all? Did he ever ask for more?" The crew was now giving Usopp questioning looks.

"A glass full with every meal and he always drank it but never asked for more." Ussop's face lit up and he jumped up from his seat.

"Sanji! Chopper! The foods that Caesar would touch have alot of water in them right? And he drinks all the water! He's basically made out of air and gases right? After he got his fruit, what if he changed and can only eat water now?" Usopp looked between the two and Sanji was nodding and Chopper's face seemed to brighten.

"That would make sense, if he was running off of only water, that would explain why he got heat stroke so easily and quickly. He must be basically dehydrated all the time." The little deer paused and his frown deepened.

"That doesn't explain the signs of malnutrition though. He lost weight, that would happen if he actually did only eat water and we weren't giving him enough. But if he got everything from water, then it would only be weight loss and not malnutrition too." This time Franky spoke up.

"You know Caesar might be like one of the engines in the Sunny. I have massive tanks of Cola pipped into a vaporizer. Then from there the hot cola vapor gets pipped to the combustion chambers. The gas cola lights up and Sunny is all super! On colder days, I have to go check the engines, cause if the cola vapor freezes, then it's no good, the solid cola won't light up. Though if it's cold, but warm enough for the cola vapor to be mostly gas and some liquid, that's ok. It'll light up but not as super as pure gas cola." The massive man paused and shifted his shades. "What if the Caesar engine wants to be lighting up on air but he's cut off from it? All he's lighting up over is water and it ain't as good?" The little doctor tapped his chin.

"That's a good theory Franky, but we can't let him off the seastone, even if he is like the Sunny's engines. I don't know what poisons he can generate or if I have the corresponding antidotes on hand. It also wouldn't take him long to suffocate one of us if he was loose. I could try to hook him up to parenteral nutrition solution, but I don't have a large supply right now." The Cyborg spoke up.

"What about juicing his meals? I can whip up a super juicer in no time flat." Nami spoke up in confusion and the cook was giving the large man a pondering look.

"Juicing meals? What do you mean by that Franky?" The blond responded to Nami's question.

"It's when you take various fruits and vegetables and then grind and squeeze them down till only liquid is left. It's often used as a method for detox or as an intensive form of dieting, though, I would never have pegged you as the detox minded or dieting type Franky." Franky seemed confused at the cook's words and then squawked out a quick defense.

"Eh!? Aw, hell no! I'm too super for any of the juicing stuff. My super sisters, Kiwi and Mozu, they swore by it and tried to get everyone they knew to do it too." Sanji was nodding in response.

"I thought those ladies had rather healthy looking skin. Alright, you make the juicer Franky and I'll try out some juices on Caesar." The rubber man spoke up.

"Can you juice meat!? Cause that would be, like, the best drink ever!" The captain's outburst was met with a mix of groans and laughter.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _White-space_ \- I really like chaining speech to an immediate reaction. It keeps the conversation grounded and helps the reader follow along, in my opinion. However, I have been getting in the bad habit of letting explanation text hook up to conversation. Doing that does make heavy blocks of text spawn, which can be hard to read. Good catch! I'm counting on you guys to help me make this tale as good as it can be. I treasure each review, critique and plot suggestion - It helps my writing more than I can say.

 _general_ \- Our favorite mad genius is out of commission, Straw Hats! Rally! This is the hardest chapter I've written so far. So many characters all in one room. The odd thing is that even though they are a crew, the Straw Hats don't work as a team all that often on non-large-scale issues. Members often run off to have their own fights or solve problems on their own.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up was a thoroughly miserable affair.

The first thing Caesar was aware of was pain, alot of it. He could feel his exposed skin both burning and prickling in agony. His head was pounding to the point that normal thought was slightly difficult. His chest still felt swollen, his inner gases roiling about like a nest of furious vipers. This was not one of his better wake ups.

Once Caesar got past the pain he was able to note that the seastone drain wasn't coming from his wrists anymore, but on his upper right arm. Then the pale man realized he was on a real bed, not the thin padded mat that was given to him in the men's quarters. A real bed! It only took a night or two of sleeping on the mat to make Caesar remember how unpleasant it was to sleep without a bed. He had thought his days of waking up stiff and aching were long behind him.

His lab jacket was gone. So were his overalls. All he had on beneath the blanket was a pair of shorts. Caesar also realized he couldn't move his arms much. Something soft was wrapped around his wrists and then something else that was stiff was around his forearms.

He could hear a soft, painfully off-key, but merrily hummed tune off to his right. The melody was punctuated with muffled taps of stone hitting stone. The humming paused every now and then, only for the silence to be filled with either the sound of books being leafed through or the scratch of pen on paper. The sounds continued in this pattern. For how long, Caesar couldn't say.

It took quite a bit of effort, but Caesar managed to eventually open his eyes. The light in the room was not helping his pounding head. He grit his teeth and tried to look about through squinted eyes.

His arms were on top of the blanket. His manacles had been replaced with soft bandages. Higher up on his forearm, was a large leather strap with buckle wrapped around his limb. The strap extended down and off the bed, and ended up being tethered to the bed's frame. The bindings looked hurried and jimmy rigged. Clearly, this medical bay had not been designed to hold unwilling patients. The leather restraints only had enough slack so that he could move his arms two or three inches in any direction. The leather cuff was loose enough so that he could twist his forearm, albeit painfully, fully around. A critical error on the Straw Hat's parts. He was able to curl his hand and his long spidery fingers could touch the metal latch on the leather cuffs. A devious smirk appeared on his face.

He relaxed his hand. Caesar could get out of these binds if he needed to. However, getting out of them now would just anger his captors. Even if he waited, got out of the bindings after dark, and then killed the pirates in their sleep. He would be worse off then he was now. The gas man was in the middle of the ocean, far from any land or allies, and he couldn't man a boat the size of the Thousand Sunny by himself. He would be at the mercy of the natural forces of Grand Line. Caesar knew he'd die pretty quickly out in the wilds of the Grand Line on his own.

Patience, Caesar had that in spades. The opportunity would eventually present itself, and then he'd make these Straw Hats pay a hundred times over for the indignities they'd done to him.

Looking further up his right arm he found another bandage wrapped around and tapped into place. Part of the bandage bulged out, hiding a lump of seastone beneath it. The horned man glared at the bandage, hating the stone beneath it with a passion.

He moved his head to look closer at the seastone bandage, only to suddenly hiss in pain. Some of his hair had shifted and brushed the center of his chest. The pain of the burnt skin tripled and he quickly shook the lock of hair off. Caesar was now looking at the parts of his skin that was typically left exposed by his normal outfit. He saw a v section of his chest had gone from his normal vampire white tone to an ugly pink. He noted with dismay the many bubbles of blisters that littered the burnt skin. He could feel that he had blistering burns on his shoulders and some of his neck too.

"Oh! You're awake." Caesar turned his head and shot a glare towards the overly chipper voice. The little deer sent him a radiant smile before hopping off his chair. The doctor made his way to pale man's bedside and stood on a stool by the bed. The little hooves then picked up a cup with a straw in it and he held it out to Caesar.

"This is water. You need it." The little deer's gaze was stern and rather funny in Caesar's opinion. The deer was just too tiny and cute to have any hope of looking commanding or intimidating. The horned man then noticed some dried plants next to a stone mortar on the desk. Not just any plant, but Jaluli plant. It was a distinctive plant with a blue stem and large red leaves. A plant that Caesar knew had strong paralytic properties. He was now sure that the Straw Hats had finally smartened up. The gas man was too dangerous of a captive. Caesar was sure they were going to keep him sedated, or worse, in the medical ward until they reached the rondevu with Dolflamingo. Caesar sent the deer a glare and made no move towards the cup.

Then the deer started poking the pale man's nose with the straw.

Caesar drew with head back as far as he could and sputtered. "Do I look stupid to you? There is no way I'm drinking that!"

The tiny doctor gave his patient an exasperated look and moved the cup closer to Caesar's retreated head.

"No, but you'll look even more sick and possibly unconscious soon if you don't drink this." The pale man's glare deepened.

Caesar wondered what else besides Jaluli extract was in the liquid. His eyes shifted back to the desk, studying what he could see. There was some Ramun plant, not very toxic but was good at amplifying other components. A small pile of dried green flower petals with yellow stripes showed that Talak flower could also be in there, with the right doses, that plant could make a person temporarily or permanently blind. Caesar's scowl deepened with each new plant he noted.

The deer followed the horned man's gaze to the desk. The large innocent eyes looked in confusion at first, not seeing what had Caesar's attention. Then realization dawned on the little doctor's face.

"This is just water. The plants over there are what I'm using to make a salve for your burns. I'm a doctor, I swore to help heal the sick." Caesar's eyes snapped back to the deer.

"True, those could be used to make a paste to cool and numb burn areas, but that's also a very convenient cover story." The horned man could see the little deer's jaw clench and then regard Caesar. He was certain that the deer would continue arguing but then the furred one seemed to relent and sighed.

The deer took the cup back. He made a point of showing Caesar how much liquid was in the cup. Then the little doctor took the straw and began to drink the liquid himself. After the cup was half drunk, the liquid was held out to Caesar again.

"See? Just water. I drank half, now you drink the other half." Caesar was now giving the little doctor a disbelieving look.

"Oh? And you think that I don't know that you gave yourself the antidote before I woke up?" The deer sputtered.

"Why would I go through so much trouble just to trick you into drinking a sedative? If I wanted to sedate you, it would be easier to use a syringe! This. Is. Water!" Caesar could see the other's fur fluffing up from aggravation.

"Both you and I know that sedatives are most effective when administered orally." He could hear the little deer's teeth grind.

The tiny doctor then set the cup down on the bedside table and stomped over to his desk. He pulled open a draw and rifled around in it. The deer stood back up, and returned to Caesar's side with a determined look. In one of his tiny hooves, Caesar saw that he held a PH testing strip.

The little doctor, jumped back onto the the bedside stool and waved the strip in the horned man's face.

"Look, right out of the box! Brand new!" With that the deer put the strip in the cup.

They waited. Caesar wasn't sure what to make of this display. Finally the little doctor pulled the strip out and held it and the cup out to Caesar. The pale man noted that the strip had turned the right color for pure water. He looked at the cup and then studied the deer.

The little doctor looked irritated, yet determined. It was going to take Caesar alot of effort to try and reject the deer's attentions. The pale man was also aware of how dry his mouth was and that his vision spun occasionally. He really did need water. The pale man huffed and bit onto the straw and the deer gave him an obnoxiously sunny smile as he began to drink the water.

With each sip, Caesar could feel his pounding headache relent a little and the gasses in his chest clam as water poured in. All too soon the cup was empty. The deer moved to get the pitcher on the desk and then paused.

"Do you want me to put a test strip in the pitcher too? It's just water." Caesar gave the little deer a flat stare and the little doctor's head and shoulders drooped. The horned man watched as the PH strip was added and accepted the pitcher after the test came back positive.

The little doctor stayed by the gas man and quietly refilled the cup each time the the pale man emptied it. Caesar decided not to question his luck at the sudden abundance of water and happily consumed what was given. In his delight, the Caesar didn't notice that the deer's frown deepened with each cup he frantically consumed.

"Do you only consume liquid? This is the ninth cup and Sanji told us that you haven't been eating much of anything." The pale man choked on his water.

The little doctor squeaked and quickly sat the horned man up, tiny hooves firmly patting Caesar's back. The fit passed and Caesar growled as he tried to get his eyes to stop watering. He glanced to his left, the deer stood, hooves hovering in the air over the pale man, eyes large and panicked, as if expecting the horned man to outright faint. Caesar pretended to have troubles breathing so that he could try to dodge the question.

Caesar had a mantra of curses going off in his head. They were on to him. He had thought that Black Leg's pride would keep him from telling the others of his eating habits. The episode on the stern had probably made the cook spill the beans. This was bad. If they figured it out that half of what he needed was water and the other was air, then they could withhold water rather than food in order to manipulate him.

At the faked breathing problems the deer floundered. His hooves flailed and squeaks of panic filled the air. Then the deer did something unexpected, he pushed on hard on Ceasar's belly, forcing the pale man to exhale. That hurt, alright, it was time to stop faking the breathing problems or he might have the hard hooves shoved into his stomach again.

Caesar put on his most wicked looking sneer and hissed.

"It's cute, no, _adorable_ how you pretend to care. Going about, looking after wounds or administering medication. Asking about special needs. Smiling as if you gave a damn. You must love the praise and their absolute need of you. If push came to shove, you would be the last crew member to be sacrificed. If anything that Uso-"

"SHUT UP!" The deer was looking at him with absolute fury. Good, be angry, forget your questions. Caesar's sneer grew into a vile grin.

"I don't practice medicine for the gratitude and Luffy would never sacrifice any of us! Never!" The pale man was chuckling now, my my, how easy was it to rile this little Straw Hat.

"Shu-lu-lu-lu! Oh, really?" Caesar leaned as close to the deer as his restraints would allow and whispered.

"Can you prove it?" The little deer didn't move and glared at Caesar. The little doctor whispered back.

"In honor of the one who raised me. In honor of the one who taught me. To help those in pain to live life and pursue their dreams. I will become the world's greatest doctor, I fight to save people and keep hope alive!" The deer was now leaning towards Caesar and the two were glaring at each other.

"Hope you say? What good is hope in this world? There is one thing that all men do from the day they are born, and that is march towards death. We're all destined to die. No amount of medicine or hope is going to change that. If anything, it's all about being the least miserable one!"

Caesar expected the deer to snap back at him, instead the deer deflated and sent him a sad look. The little doctor then hopped off the stool. The pale man watched as the furred one walked back to his desk, picked up a bowl and the returned to the stool. The gel in the bowl smelled absolutely repulsive and the pale man looked at it in distaste. Already knowing that he was soon going to be wearing the mixture. Tiny hooves scooped up gell and began to lather it onto Caesar's burned areas. Caesar was caught between pain and relief. Touching the burns made them flare up in agony but the gel was quick to numb and cool the areas, bringing some respite to the horned man. Caesar hadn't noticed that his eyes had slid closed while the little doctor had been applying salve. His eyes shot back open when the deer spoke again.

"Life isn't about death you know." The deer was focusing on his shoulders now. "Life is about living it to it's fullest. It's about finding adventure, friends, love, mysteries, dreams and so much more. As a doctor, I do my best to make sure that people can do this. The bad things in life, well, are bad but they are there to make us love the good things even more." The little doctor paused and touched one of the many garish scars on Caesar's back and the pale man stiffened.

"If you live, only steeped only in bad things, it's easy to lose sight of that."

Caesar looked away from the deer, doing his best to pretend that the little doctor didn't exist. He shifted so that his back was away from the intruding hoof. These Straw Hats didn't know a damned thing about life. That is didn't care if you were constantly on the brink of death. Didn't care when you woke up, only to find that your friends beside you had died in their sleep, clutching extended bellies while ribs stuck out. Didn't care as law men tried to beat out of you what you didn't have. Didn't care when individuals with power were more than willing to let you hang if you didn't perform up to expectations. People weren't concerned for anything more than themselves and their own happiness. It was a lie, the little deer didn't actually care, no one did. It had to be a lie.

They both kept silent. Caesar, head turned away. The little deer redoubled his efforts on applying salve. The doctor finished and Caesar had to begrudgingly admit, between the water and the salve, he did feel much better.

The doctor then gently picked up one of his wrists and unwound the bandage. Beneath it bruised and cracking skin was revealed and the deer shook his head.

"Sorry about this, I though the manacles weren't tight enough for this. I should have checked." The deer was clearly unfamiliar with the details of keeping prisoners. It didn't matter how tight or loose a shackle or rope was, wear it long enough and the skin beneath would bruise and tear in time. Caesar wasn't in the right mindset to point out the doctor's ignorance and sat moodily as the deer fussed over his wrists. The pale man watched as new salve and bandages were applied to his wrists. The deer paused and looked over Caesar.

"Let's tie your hair back, at least till your burns heal a little bit more." Caesar huffed, not seeing the point in arguing with the cute animal, the deer was going to do what he wanted regardless of the pale man's wishes. The doctor climbed onto the bed, some spare bandages in hand and his hooves began to try shift through the mass of hair.

"Why is it so choppy? This part is long, this one short and they're right next to each other. The others have hair of the same length. Why is yours so different? Is it a human culture thing?" The deer was by his face now, holding up and comparing various locks of hair.

"It's choppy because I just cut the part of hair when it gets in my eyes or my way. So I suppose it's a human thing. Your crewmates care about what they look like so they groom themselves accordingly, I don't." Hooves faltered and he could feel the big eyes regarding him. After a moment, the deer got back to work and began to gather the shorter locks by his face, tying them back.

"It's nice though. Fluffy and thick. Like a lion's mane!" That made Caesar turn to look at the deer. The little doctor had a goofy smile as he fluffed and played with the locks. Caesar held in a groan. How the mighty had fallen. From master of a massive lab to a deer child's plaything.

"It's nice, but your hair lacks the shine it should have. It's dry too. Your unburnt skin is also dry and flaking. You're also quick to irritate as well. Common side effects of malnutrition. Has your devil fruit changed what you can eat?" The little doctor stopped playing with his hair and fixed him with an unyielding gaze. Caesar did his best to keep his face blase.

"My hair and skin have always been like that. Also, I take offense to that. I'm the most cheerful person on this ship." The horned man yelped when the deer sharply tugged on his hair.

"Stop dogging. Can you, or can you not eat normally?" The little doctor had tied the upper portion of his hair back and now worked on wrestling the rest into a second ponytail beneath the first. Caesar's mind worked frantically. Angering the little Straw Hat hadn't worked. Changing the topic hadn't worked. Caesar had one last tactic left to him. Caesar clenched his jaw tight and did his best to ignore the doctor again. The silence stretched out and the doctor managed to wrestle the last of Caesar's mane into a second ponytail. The deer inspected his work.

"There, that should keep your hair off the burned areas. So? Did your devil fruit change the way you eat?" The cute animal stood next to him on the bed. The little doctor was so small the pale man noted. With him simply sitting up the doctor only came up to his shoulder. Caesar ignored the question, choosing to stare at the wall instead. Moments passed and he felt a tiny hoof tap his shoulder.

"Hey, I asked you a question." The pale man made no reaction. He continued to stare off into space, as if the little deer wasn't even in the room. The deer used both hooves to slightly shake his shoulder.

"Hey! You ok? Say something!" The horned man still didn't respond in any way. The little doctor felt out and took his pulse. Then the deer turned the pale man's head towards him and looked into Caesar's eyes.

"Your eyes aren't dilated and your pulse is a little fast but nothing to be worried about. You're not in shock." Caesar made no other reaction other than to look away from the deer and gaze out the window. He wasn't going to talk. They weren't going to have any more power over him. Not if he could help it. The pale man felt the deer wilt beside him.

"You're… ignoring me. But, you're not well! You have to tell me what you need! I want to help you!" It took everything Caesar had to not sneer at that.

The deer wanted to help him. Ha, more lies. They would just use that new knowledge to manipulate him, make him even more docile. Moments of silence stretched out and neither of them moved. Then the little deer let out a thunderous sigh.

The little doctor didn't leave the bed like Caesar had expected, instead he moved to sit next to the pale man. Silence continued to fill the room. Minutes passed and the deer made no move and just continued to sit by Caesar's side.

More time passed and the horned man was beginning to feel uneasy. He didn't like others being so close to him, within striking distance. He'd also made it clear that he wasn't going to talk. Why was the deer still by him? Caesar was starting to wonder if the deer would ever leave when at last the furred one spoke.

"I was speaking from experience you know." That was enough to make the pale man twitch in surprise and give the deer a sidelong glance. The little one sat slumped by his side, looking at the tiny hooves in his lap. His large innocent eyes, unfocused, as if he was looking at something far away.

"To be surrounded by the bad, and lose sight of hope. It almost happened to me." Caesar's suspicions rose and regarded the deer intently from the corner of his eye.

"I wasn't born like this. I was a regular reindeer once. When I was very small I ate the human-human fruit and I changed. After that, my herd didn't see me as one of them. They drove me away. I was alone in the snow. I went to the human villages, but they called me a monster. Shot at me, hurt me." Caesar watched as the deer still gazed off to a place that only he could see and a hoof moved to touch a spot on his tiny chest.

"I was alone, hurt, starving and dying. I believed that I was a monster and that the world would only hurt me. That the world hated me." The pale man found himself agreeing with the deer, the world was vile. It would break you and then take everything you had. Then you would die, alone and forgotten. That was the way of life. Caesar turned his head fully towards the little doctor.

"But then, I met Doctor Hiluluk. He helped me, saved me. Showed me hope." The deer grinned.

"He was a doctor, you see, and he had a dream! He was working on a cure, one that would bring cherry blossoms to the people of Drum Island and restore hope! He took care of me and I did my best to help him. He was my father." Caesar frowned, Drum Island was a winter island. There was just no way to bring about cherry blossoms with mere medical or rudimentary science.

"I didn't realize that he was sick though, terminally ill. Even so, he did everything he could to make the cherry blossoms happen and tried to help the people of the island the best he could. The island didn't have any doctors you see, all of them were being kept by king of the island, Wapol." The king's name was spat out like a curse by the deer.

"Then it was announced that all the doctors fell sick and were dying and that they need help. My father knew it was a trap. But, if they were actually sick and died, then the island's people would be doomed so he went to try and help the sick doctors. My father died that day." The deer said that last part in a soft voice, hooves now clenched.

Caesar wondered what kind of fool man would do such a thing. Walk into a trap, his death, on the off chance of saving a country? Utter lunacy. Still, the sadness radiating off the little doctor was enough to even sober the pale man.

"But you see, even in the face of sickness, death and corruption. My father stayed strong! He saved me and the people of Drum Island. He saved lives, hopes and dreams. He's the world's greatest doctor! I'm going to be just like him!" The little deer suddenly turned towards Caesar with a look of flaming determination that unsettled the horned man.

"Caesar! You've done bad things I don't like, but I'm going to help you even if you don't want me to! I am going to be the greatest doctor in the world! Just like my father!" Caesar was flummoxed and unbalanced. The deer had gone through terrible things, similar to himself, how could he say such… selfless things so seriously?

Then the little doctor reached out and patted the back of Caesar's hand with his hoof.

"I know it's hard, but I will wait until you're ready for you to tell me what you need. Till then, I'll do my best with what I know now." The little deer looked up at Caesar with a radiant smile and the pale man stared back. Dumbstruck, unable to make heads or tails of this little Straw Hat.

The little doctor's' ears drooped when it became clear that Caesar had no intention of responding.

"You should rest now. I'll wake you for dinner." The little doctor took hold of Caesar's shoulders and gently pushed him into lying position. The pale man didn't resist but eyed the deer warily. The doctor fussed abit with the blankets. Straightening them for his patient. Then pale man watched as the deer made his way dejectedly back towards his desk. The furred one then sat and began to sort through the dried plants.

"If you need anything, let me know. I'll be right here. I'm going to take care of you until you're all better." Caesar continued to stare at the deer, mind spinning.

How, just how could the little doctor have a story like that and still… try to help others? Knowing that they would probably see him as monster? That most people would be willing to leave him to die? Even though his father had been taken from him?

Caesar scowled, remembering how the hoof had moved to a place of an old injury during the tale. The pale man was very familiar with ghost pains, wounds that never healed, no matter how much time past. His jaw tightened remembering the sorrow in the deer's voice, the same sorrow he had once... Then there was the undeniable flame that had been in the little doctor's eyes. Maybe, just maybe…

"Do you swear, on your father's honor as a doctor, that what I tell you won't be used against me?" The pale man uttered in a voice just above a whisper, yellow eyes locking on the little doctor. The deer jumped, not expecting the Caesar to speak. The furred one scrambled to his patient's bedside in a clumsy rush that would have amused the pale man any other day. The deer got onto the stool and gave Caesar a solemn look.

"You have my word Caesar, on my father's honor as a doctor. What you tell me, will never be used against you." The pale man regarded the deer for a long moment and then sighed.

"My fruit did change the way I eat. I can't consume much in the way of solids. I get my sustenance mostly from air and secondarily from water." The pale man watched as the silliest grin appeared on the furred ones' face and he bounced up and down giddily.

"So Franky was right! You are like the Sunny's engines!" That had Caesar giving the deer a befuddled look but the little doctor was too lost in revelation and joy to notice. The deer suddenly had a hoof on his chin and was intensely pondering aloud.

"This means that Sanji and Franky's plan might work. Oh! Caesar! You sleep! Now! Doctor's orders! I'll be right back with more water!" With that the deer shifted into his deer form and sprinted out of the infirmary. The door wildly swung back and forth in the cute animal's departure and Caesar sighed.

It was probably a mistake to have confided in the little Straw Hat. There was a good chance that the whole story had just been an elaborate lie. Nico Robin had correctly deduced that he had been a street urchin. She could have easily coached the deer into telling a story crafted to take advantage of his emotions. Caesar shifted on the bed, trying to make himself more comfortable, while trying to avoid having his burned skin touch anything. He could feel his exhaustion and the bed was feeling more comfortable with each passing moment. As the pale man drifted off into sleep, he wondered.

Just how long would it be before Chopper inevitably betrayed his trust?

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _Future Sight -_ Well, some of you predicted the Caesar-Chopper chapter's general idea! Hats off to ya! So Caesar finally caved in. It only took a really cute deer to spill his life story to the stubborn, paranoid and pessimistic gas man.

 _General_ \- So I've been going back over older chapters, noting mistakes or seeing things that could be improved on with the help of your feedback. After I finish, I'll take the story down and reload a remastered blue-ray uncut limited edition version (yes this fanfic will so fit in your DVD player! - ok maybe not). So you guys are my beta readers! Help me find dem pesky mistakes and suggest fun plot ideas. We still have Franky, Brook, Zoro and Luffy left!


	7. Chapter 7

Three Straw Hats stared down at Caesar and the pale man eyed them warily in return.

The horned man was still restrained to the bed in the med bay. To the side of his bed, Black Leg straddled a chair. The blond's arms crossed over the top of the chair and he leaned forward, seeming nonchalant. The cook looked oddly serious without his ever present cigarette to Caesar, but the doctor was adamant about no smoking in his office. Chopper sat at his desk, observing the situation with a sunny smile. His hooves merrily swaying off the chair as he looked at his fellow Straw Hats.

Then there was the metal mountain in the room.

The cyborg stood at the foot of the bed, towering over everything while wearing a large obnoxious grin. Caesar always noted the considerable efforts the metal man had made to look human. The synthetic plastic stretched over the metal frame to mimic skin. Cameras inserted into gel spheres to mimic human eyes. The Cyborg's design, desperately clung to the rough shape of a human. Choosing to make his arms large and bulky to store hardware rather than choosing to distort the torso or legs into something even more unnatural looking.

"Curly-bro made this super drink for ya gas-boy. The other two might not be willing ta force ya, but after all the ruckus, I'll force it down your throat no problemo!" The metal man's grin grew even larger and he lifted his shades to look Caesar straight in the eyes.

"So what's it gonna be? Gonna be super and drink it yourself? Or am I gonna have to make ya?" The pale man's lips twisted into a snarl and he looked at the cup Black Leg had placed before him.

It was a tall plastic cup with a cheery pink straw poking out the top. Closer investigations proved that liquid inside the cup to be a dark purple. Caesar glared at the cup. An experiment, and he was the test subject. Wonderful.

"So much ruckus, hmm? Shu-lu-lu-lu! Is this to … _make sure_.. I cause less commotion?" Caesar sent Black Leg a crooked smile.

The pale man gave the cook credit for trying to look unaffected, but the blond man's knuckles had gone white. The grin fell away from the metal man and he let his shades drop back down. The little doctor's swaying hooves stilled. Black Leg tried to speak nonchalantly but there was still a edge to his voice.

"Pears, beetroot, raspberries and lemon is what's in that drink. I named it "Rock The Beet". Unless you're allergic to one of those, this shouldn't do anything bad to you." Caesar returned the cook's steady gaze. When the blond didn't fold, the pale man looked to Chopper and the deer gave him a reassuring smile.

There was a soft clank of metal as the cyborg took a step towards the head of the bed in response to Caesar's continued silence. The big man's smile was wide and rigid. The massive metal hands rubbing together, as if in anticipation. The horned man looked between the drink and the metal mountain and decided to try and keep what little dignity he had left.

Caesar leaned in and took a sip of the drink. The span of time which he had been able to eat a variety of foods in the Marine Science Core was a short one. He had gotten his devil fruit shortly after joining. He wasn't sure if he would be able to identify the flavors and see if the cook was lying or not. Though, Caesar was willing to bet that Black Leg was lying regardless.

It was powerfully flavorful, which had Caesar flinching. He wasn't used to flavor, nevermind at such an intensity. It was sweet, yet sour and earthy. He recognized lemon, raspberries and pear, all of which being fairly common in the martinis he favored. Alcohol was something you could count on both Marines and Pirates to have in excess. A nice occasional change of pace from water for Caesar. The other heavier and earthier flavor in the drink, the beetroot, Caesar assumed, was new to the pale man. Overall, he wasn't sure what to make of the beverage, and speculated, that with time, he could come to like such a drink.

Caesar drew back and swallowed. He waited for the aftertaste to reveal the sedative that he was certain the Straw Hats had added. Caesar's frown deepened when he couldn't detect any present. Well, he'd know for sure shortly, once his body started reacting to the hidden sedative.

"So!? Does your stomach bother you? Do you like it?" Chirped Chopper with his eyes wide and hopeful.

Black Leg was still doing his best to act laidback but was closely studying the horned man from under hooded eyes. The Cyborg, after Caesar had showed willingness to drink on his own, relaxed into a wide stance with massive fists on his hips and head tilted to the side. Both the metal man's head and right leg bopped up and down in time to a tune that only the cyborg could hear while sporting a massive grin. The horned man shifted uncomfortably under the Straw Hats' scrutiny.

The Caesar could already feel the beverage evaporating inside of him, mixing with his gaseous core. He was off balance as the new heavy vapors rolled about and struggled to diffuse. Caesar was surprised when the new gasses began to settle, pooling at the bottom of his core. The lighter gases slowed and his system in whole slowed, calming, now more balanced.

"It's tolerable, I suppose." The pale man said with an annoyed huff.

Caesar watched with suspicion as the Straw Hats reacted. Black Leg seemed to actually relax, a faint, but satisfied, smirk appearing on the man's face. Chopper's smile brightened even more somehow, the little doctor turned to his desk and soon had a pen and pad of paper in hand.

The cyborg's reaction was on a completely different level from his companions. The metal man suddenly lunged to the right. Caesar could feel the gust of wind brush by him as massive metal arms swung up above that shock of blue hair. A loud slam of metal rang in the room as the man's huge forearms came together to form the image of a star. The pale man watched with dread as the Cyborg's chest expanded with a large breath.

"Suuuupppppeeeerrrrrrr!" The Cyborg bellowed at a volume that made Caesar's ears ring.

The horned man watched as small pipes extruded from the back of the cyborg's legs to shoot out flamboyantly pink colored gas to emphasize the show. The other Straw Hats in the room seemed unaffected by the display.

Caesar had been with the Straw Hats for some time now and had seen the Cyborg's performances scores of times. They varied slightly, but each one was always loud, obnoxious and flashy. They never failed to disturb Caesar. The pale man simply could not understand why anyone would want to draw so much attention to themselves and for no reason at all. Attention was more often than not bad. It was typically ill advised to show how you were different, superior or more talented than those around you. It made you a target to the scores of people that would be more than happy to take advantage of that. The Cyborg's actions seemed like he was begging to be the target of an attack or scheme to Caesar.

"This is great! Before you ate your fruit, did you have any allergies that you knew of? Any medical conditions or concerns?" Chopper chirped and held his note pad alloft.

His mind turned back. Caesar recalled times where he scrambled for anything edible and fought comrades for the scraps. Didn't matter what it was, or even what state of rotting it was in. Food was food. So, no allergies he supposed. He did bitterly remember a breathing problem, one that often made him get caught while being chased. Once the leader in the little gang learned of his shortcoming… Caesar's lips twisted into a snarl at the memory. That push, the flimsy smile and the capture.

"Ceasar? Are you ok?" The worried voice of Chopper broke his stream of thoughts.

All three Straw Hats were looking at him with varying levels of concern. Black Leg was still slouching, but his eyes were sharp. Chopper looked like he was ready to jump off his stool and take his pulse, or do something else equally annoyingly doctorly to him. The metal mountain had stopped bopping in place and had his head now tilted in the other direction. Caesar didn't like how intently the Cyborg regarded him.

"I'm _fine_ and none that I can recall." Caesar hissed.

There was a moment of silence and it seemed that Black Leg was about to say something but was cut off by a screech from the Red Harpy.

"Chopper! Sanji! Log Pose is set! We are heading out to the island to gather supplies now! Get out here!" Caesar sent a glare in the Bitchess' general direction.

She was outside on deck and couldn't see him but, oh, he was going to pay her back for the stern incident. Mark his words, Caesar was not one to let debts stand. They were all going to pay.

He watched the others scramble at the Red Harpy's orders. Black Leg had already flown out of the room, at a speed that made the lighter items in the room rattle. Chopper was scrambling to get his various medical satchels, while giving hurried instructions to the Cyborg.

"Ok Franky, I have to go ashore. This island has a good chance of having a herb I want, so thanks for volunteering to look after Caesar. He can be a difficult, he doesn't ask for things when he should. So make sure to give him water every two hours and I just reapplied the salve so no need to worry about that." The metal man nodded and was helping Chopper collect his bags.

Soon it was just Caesar and the Cyborg in the medial bay.

The two stared at each other.

With a shout, metal man shattered the silence.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Alrrrrrright! Ok Gas-boy you get to spend the day with me! Suuuper Franky!" He struck a pose, and sent the pale man a megawatt smile and thumbs up.

"What's so super about you?" Caesar leveled a flat stare in return and the Cyborg boomed with laughter. The horned man cringed, so noisy.

The metal man eventually stopped laughing and Caesar was not amused. He popped his shades up and sent the pale man a lopsided grin.

"There's too much to say about why I'm so super. Anyway, you got to finish that." The metal man pointed to the cup in front of Caesar.

The gas man's frown deepened. He looked at the cup and wasn't in the mood to be dealing with the new beverage. Water was sufficient to get him by till either he escaped or Dolflamingo made short work of these crazy pirates. He sent the metal man a narrowed look from beneath his bangs, wondering how hard it would be to get himself out of drinking the weird drink.

The metal mountain noticed the sly look and his grin somehow got even bigger. Caesar could feel the silent dare sent his direction.

The horned man huffed and accepted defeat. He took another sip of the drink and shivered, so much flavor. The metal man's grin became smaller when Caesar complied. The Cyborg then took the chair Black Leg had been sitting on beside the bed.

"Little-bro said you needed to rest more so I'll be right here if ya need somethin'. Hope you don't mind occasional sparks." The cyborg chuckled.

Caesar watched as the metal man got out a set of tools from a hidden compartments in his arms and grasped them in miniature hands that sprouted from his massive robotic palms. He then popped open a panel on his left forearm and began to work on the machinery within.

Soon, Caesar found himself trying to look into the cyborg's arm without being noticed. He knew that the metal man had found and adopted some of Vegapunk's technology. His ultimate rival and enemy. The current holder of the title he desired above all.

He was going to be the world's greatest scientist. His thoughts, theorems and inventions were going to take the world by storm. People of all kinds would know him and his genius. The name Caesar Clown would never be forgotten.

Right now, that narrow minded, doddering old coot Vegapunk stood in his way. Now if the cyborg would just turn a litt-

"You know, if you want a better look at my super self you could just ask." Caesar flinched in surprise.

The metal man was now smirking at him, tiny welding torch in his miniature hand. The horned man openly glowered at the Cyborg, wondering what the catch would be. Nothing was ever free.

The massive man erupted with laughter and Caesar's face darkened.

A venomous retort died on the tip of Caesar's tongue when he suddenly had a large metal arm placed in his lap. Despite the obnoxiously bright and cheery colors the arm was painted, the inside was dark and packed full of wires, piping and mechanisms. His anger forgotten, Caesar was quick to examine the workings of the arm. Noting the power layout, the coolant flow and the various pistons and gears. He was examining the dual layered energy grid, definitely that Vegapunk bastard's style, when another laugh from the cyborg disrupted him.

"So chemistry isn't the only science you like, hmm? You like mechanical science too? Didn't know you had engineering chops, that's pretty super." Caesar scoffed at the metal man.

"I am not a mere engineer, I am a scientist! I do more than make mechanical trinkets." The Cyborg was consumed with laughter again and the horned man eyed him warily.

At last the metal mountain calmed down and Caesar was thoroughly irritated. He hated being laughed at. The blue haired man wiped a tear from his eye and in an amused tone addressed the pale man.

"Ah, right, right! I forgot how super uppity you eggheads can be. Sorry fer imply'in that you did simple science. So chemistry and mechanical science? Anything else?" The Cyborg looked intently over the top of his shades and Caesar fidgeted.

For what reason would the crazy straw hat be interested in what he knew? To be better aware of what traps he could lay? What sorts of secrets he would be interested in stealing? Or what types of knowledge could be stolen from the soon to be greatest scientist in the world? He sent a glare the Cyborg's way and clenched his jaw.

The smile fell away from the Cyborg and he sighed. He gave the gas man a solemn look.

"If you don't feel comfortable talking about yerself, I ain't gonna make ya. Everybody has things they don't wanna talk about, and after getting accidentally roasted by one of us. I don't blame ya for not wanting to talk." The metal man extracted his arm from Caesar's lap and continued.

"And we owe you an apology, we should have looked after you better. Fer myself and on behalf of the others, sorry for letting you get this way." The pale man eyed the Cyborg suspiciously.

The apology was obviously not sincere. Why would they care about a pawn, a burden? So long as he was alive enough to turn over to Dolfamingo, that's all that mattered. The Straw Hat's were no better than the other people in this world. Everyone was always after something.

At the continued silence, the metal man returned to working on his arm. The two sat in relative silence, the occasional spark or power tool the only sounds being made.

Caesar turned his thoughts away from the fake apology, and thought of what he had seen in the Cyborg's arm. How did the grid manage to be layered like that without any coolant interwoven? The excess heat must be diffused somehow. Was there a heat sink hidden somewhere? Also, the coolant pipe work he had seen, where was the heat being carried to and diffused? Then the cannon, how was the recoil being handled? There had been some buffers but that wouldn't be-

"Do you know what the difference between an engineer and a scientist is?" The Cyborg rudely interrupted his genius thoughts. The nerve.

"That scientists are superior in every way?" The gas man snapped and the Cyborg laughed again.

"No, that ain't it! It's the questions that they ask. It's what makes them different." Caesar was rather annoyed that his jabs and venom had little to no effect on the Cyborg.

"... why do the questions they ask matter?" The gas man took the bait.

"Cause it defines what they do and why they do it." The Cyborg paused to pop his shades up.

"Engineers ask 'How?' and scientists ask 'Why?'. For example, myself, how can I get my super friends from one place to another better? How can I make what they use better? How can I be more effective in a fight? Engineers use what they know to solve problems they face." Caesar was giving the metal man a flat stare by this point.

"Scientists are ask'in 'Why?'. Why does a specific thing happen? Why does something react the way it does? Then they take what they discover to help them with the next 'Why?'. They're practically explorers, that's pretty super, ain't I right?" The cyborg sent the pale man a grin.

Caesar was slow to respond as he looked for holes in the metal man's words. For the most part it was true. He had always been irritated with how engineers in the Marine Science Core focuses began and ended with the projects tasked to them. He on the other hand, loved to push the boundaries, regardless of what his comrades said. Loved understanding the world around him. Loved the thrill that came with solving a mystery or validating a theory. Loved discovering or accomplishing what others couldn't. That passion is what had kept him alive all these years. He gave a slow nod and the metal man surged forward.

"They're both solving questions, with that comes innovation." The Cyborg paused and sighed.

"That's where it gets tricky. The innovation... a new invention, theory, technology, weapon or whatever. It can be used for good or serious harm. If it's for harm, is the creator at fault?" Caesar eyed the man warily once more.

The Red Harpy must have given a detailed explanation of what happened if this topic was being brought up. The metal man still held his tools, the repair task forgotten as he continued to speak.

"That's where me and Sis-Nami disagree. Heck, I put massive cannons in Sunny and, each scuffle with marines, how many people have we sent to watery graves so far? Is that my fault? Bro-Ussop's? Luffy's?" The massive man sadly shook his head and continued.

"Sure, you made that gas weapon but you didn't pull the trigger. You've done other bad and crazy crap, but she was wrong to call you out on that." The metal man's face was oddly solemn.

Caesar was silent, staring at the Cyborg, looking for any signs that would show that this was all an impressive act. When it was clear that the gas man wasn't going to respond, the Cyborg returned to working on his arm.

The two sat in relative silence again, with only occasional taps of metal and sparks to be heard.

The gas man's brow furrowed as he thought. What did the cyborg have to gain by siding with him? Granted, the metal man probably would have been singing a different tune had he known more of his past actions. Not only had he made extremely dangerous weapons, but he had sold them directly to powerhouses in the underworld. People that would have no issues causing mass havoc and destruction. Then there was the time that bastard Vegapunk had betrayed him and had denounced his genius and research. In both an attempt to escape and a fit of rage and he had unleashed one of the most dangerous weapons he had ever created. Forever warping Punk Hazard and killing or crippling scores of it's inhabitants. He would never regret that action. If he hadn't done that, he'd be rotting in Impel Down, or worse, 'erased' by the World Government. They couldn't afford to risk having their dirty projects brought to light, for all to see.

Caesar mentally confirmed again, he had no regrets. He had made profit, which supported him and gave him the ability to pursue his science. He had caused mass destruction, but he was still alive and had remained free for it. If he hadn't struck first, they would have destroyed him instead. As for the casualties, well, life was simply awful for the majority anyway, they had a quick end. A quick death was all really anyone could ask for in this life.

That still didn't explain why this Straw Hat was being apologetic and sympathetic towards him. Or even the strange attempts to relate to him.

There was metallic screech in the distance along with the whine of a whistle. Caesar could feel a rumble pass through the ship.

The cyborg was on his feet in an instant, looking towards the back of the Sunny. Tools clenched in hand and arm panel swinging back and forth, forgotten.

The metal man took several steps towards the medical bay's door, only to suddenly stop. He looked back over one of his massive shoulders at Ceasar. The gears of his mind could be seen spinning.

The large man sighed and went to Chopper's desk. He rummaged about hurriedly, cursing faintly whenever he accidentally knocked over something. At last, he found what he was looking for and returned to Caesar.

The gas man glared at the seastone cuffs with a passion and the metal man ignored the glare.

Caesar was quickly shackled and unbound from the bed. The Cyborg's massive hand taking him by the shoulder, urging him out of the bed.

"Ok, upsie-daisy. We'er gonna go investigate. You well enough to walk on your own?" The metal man asked hurriedly, only a fraction of his attention on Caesar.

Caesar snarled and jerked away from the massive hand. He stood tall and glowered at the Cyborg, who took no notice of the venom.

The Cyborg was already nearly out the door and Caesar had to hurry to catch up. For such a bulky man, he could move surprisingly fast.

Caesar flinched at the sunlight as he stepped out the door but revelled in the breeze the fluttered about him.

The Cyborg was already taking massive strides across the deck towards the hatch to go below deck. With a quick motion, he popped the hatch open and looked back at Caesar, motioning him to hurry.

Caesar took long but shaky strides towards the hatch. The chains of his manacles swaying and clinking. Excited, for the first time in a long time. Below decks would be dark and cool. He'd also get a chance to see the workings of the Sunny and the crafter stations. Something that the Straw Hats had unanimously decided that the gas man should be kept away from.

By the time he got to the hatch, the cyborg was already down in the hold. Caesar made his way gingerly down the ladder, careful to not get tangled in his chains.

He almost sighed with relief when the cool damp of the hold met his skin. Not as nice as his old lab, but so much better than the cheerily sunny deck. The metal man was further down the hallway, walking sideways so that his massive bulk could move.

The hold wasn't as dark as Caesar would have liked it. Strip lighting was embedded into the ceiling, casting dim illumination.

They had gone only a few meters down the hallway when Caesar smelled smoke and heard the Cyborg cursing. The pace sped up.

Soon they came to a room with a massive machine. The Cyborg was already turning exhaust valves and shutting off power. His face both grim and puzzled.

Seeing that the Straw Hat's attention was elsewhere, Caesar quickly shuffled up to the engine. He could see massive tanks piping into a chamber. From that a piston connected to a network of gears and belts that stretched up the wall and vanished into darkness.

Underneath the smell of smoke, the gas man could detect cola and he grinned.

This must be the engine for the Thousand Sunny.

Caesar absentmindedly rubbed his hands together in delight and gazed upon the contraption.

He had to begrudgingly admit that the Cyborg did good work. There were no shortcuts that Caesar could see. The engine had been clearly designed with power and efficiency in mind. There were some gambles in the design. Hot coolant was wrapped around cola intake pipes as it was piped back to a cooling unit. Thus preheating the cola before it made it to the combustion chamber. Definitely more efficient but made it harder to control the general temperature of the cola.

Caesar sent the Cyborg a calculating glance. He never would have pegged this Straw Hat as a risk taker.

The metal man had finished cooling the system down. He was now inspecting the engine and occasionally muttering to himself. At last the big man huffed and drew out a new set of tools. From where, Caesar couldn't rightly say.

"Why did the system overload?" Caesar asked.

The cyborg jumped in surprise and grunted when his head collided into a pipe. He rubbed his head for a moment before responding.

"Not sure yet. Cola got too hot. Just some melted belts, nuth'in major. Weird though." The cyborg jutted out his jaw and rested it on a massive fist.

"What temperature do you typically have the engine set to combust at?" The pale man asked with a sly grin.

"Eh, just around standard superheat temperature for Cola, nuth'in too crazy." The cyborg set his tools down next to the engine, getting ready to slide under it.

Caesar's grin widened and pointed to dial low on the engine.

"Looks like it was set to double that! Shu-lu-lu-lu!" The pale man cackled and the Cyborg's eyes bulged in shock.

"Wha-? How'd it get set to that? The Sunny is pretty super but, if we set sail like this, the Sunny would just blow sky high!" He quickly moved to turn the dial down and grumbled.

"None of the others mess with Sunny's settings. I also told Luffy that if he touched anything down here, that Sunny would eat all the meat in the kitchen. He bearly ever comes down here any more." The big man shrugged his shoulders and continued.

"Somebody must'a been roughhousing down here and knocked it by accident." He sighed and went back to getting under the engine.

The pale man looked about. In this room, there was nothing much of note besides the engine. The rest being gears, belts and pistons sprawling across the ceiling and disappearing into channels along the walls. Bringing power to the rest on the Thousand Sunny.

He looked towards the door and then back at the metal man. He was consumed in his work, oblivious to the rest of the world. The Cyborg made a terrible guard.

Caesar frowned, it would be easy work sneaking off. The problem would be finding the key to his manacles. He knew that the Red Harpy had a key on her. That bitch seemed to have the keys to everything on the ship. There had to be a spare, but where it could be, Caesar didn't have the faintest idea. He probably wouldn't find it before the other Straw Hats returned.

Then there was the current island. A jungle island teeming with massive beasts and other dangers. Not a single settlement. No people to woo or manipulate into his control. In short, this was not the type of island he wanted to be on for an unknown amount of time for.

The gas man huffed in aggravation and sat down next to the tools the metal man had set out. He just needed to wait, his moment would come.

Caesar watched the metal man work. He was underneath the engine, carefully extracting melted or burned rubber. Whenever he stopped to ponder or pick up a new tool, his head bopped in time to a beat only heard by the metal man.

The gas man frowned again. The engine being set to blow was an issue for him. He could survive an explosion just fine if his devil fruit powers were available to him, but they weren't. He'd get roasted in the explosion and then thrown into the sea to drown if the blast didn't kill him.

The benefits of such an event would be that the Straw Hats would be whipped out. That was moot however due to how he wouldn't be alive and able to dance on their graves.

The pale man looked over to the temperature dial again. Out of all the buttons, switches, levers and dials, that was the one that was farthest out of the way. He didn't believe the Cyborg's theory of roughhousing. There was no way to bump or hit that dial in a way to set it to max setting. Someone had to have consciously changed it.

Most of the crew was ashore, which made them all suspects. The Cyborg could have done it too but Caesar didn't think he had enough of a death wish to blow himself up. So he was off the suspects list.

There was the Red Harpy. She had clearly voiced her dislike for him, many times. Then there was the stern incident. She may have been reprimanded. She probably was the vengeful and spiteful type. But this didn't match her. It was too blunt, too undramatic for the Bitchess.

A dagger in the back, a throat slit in the night or even a poisoned cup. Something to set a stage and have others reel at the discovery would suit her better. That, and all her belongings were still on the ship. She was way too greedy to part with her belongings like that. She too was removed from his suspect list.

Black Leg was also capable of this. He may have taken the stern incident personally. His precious harpy had made a mistake and had been in trouble for it because of Caesar. The gas man had also been insulting his cooking for weeks on end. Maybe the man had had enough and decided to be rid of the pale man.

Caesar didn't have a good read on the cook's personality. Only that he tried very hard to be suave and laid back. Despite his efforts, he lost his temper fairly regularly and became a pathetic pile of goo whenever a female was involved.

Black Leg, while not technology savvy, could have figured out what setting to sabotage. However, this didn't match what Caesar knew of the man. If he had issues with something or someone, he'd try to address it directly. Like when the gas man had been refusing his food. If the cook had taken the stern incident to heart, he would have just planted his foot in Caesar's face or worse, depending on the cook's mood. Then there was also how all the crew's food was on the ship. Black Leg simply didn't have the heart to destroy food like that. He was removed from the list.

Then came the mysterious and dangerous Nico Robin. Sabotaging an engine would be child's play for that woman in Caesar's opinion. She was intelligent and clever, possibly even close to his own mental prowess.

Why she would set the engine to blow he couldn't see. Nico Robin didn't seem the type to take things personally. She may have been annoyed by the stern incident but the Red Harpy was fine and the gas man had survived well enough. Good enough to be handed over to Dolflamingo. Why would she waste energy, time and resources on a event that didn't impact the crew's goals all that much? No, this was too petty for a woman of Nico Robin's caliber. She was removed from the list.

Chopper was capable also. Most of his knowledge rested in biology or medicine but, with effort, he could figure out Sunny's engine. However, the little doctor was upbeat and kind to an obnoxious degree. How Chopper carried on like that was simply beyond Caesar's realm of comprehension.

Based on what the little deer had told him, he couldn't see the doctor sabotaging the engine for something as small as the stern incident. Actually, Caesar didn't see anything short of someone killing his crewmates or slaughtering innocents being able to make Chopper resort to that level of violence. He was removed from the list.

Caesar took a whole second to consider the rubber captain and immediately discarded the notion.

That boy was effectively a sack of rainbows and dumb ferrets. Sabotage and murder was beyond the lad in every sense.

There was the catatonic swordsman. Caesar was well aware that the man was a monster on the battlefield like his captain. Out of combat, he either trained, gave Black Leg grief, was drinking himself unconscious or slept his hours away. Caesar could count on one hand the number of times the Muscle Head had said something notable.

Granted, the green haired man and Caesar rarely interacted. The swordsman ignored his existence for the most part and the others didn't bother to have the Muscle Head help with watching Caesar often. The man had the attention span lasting seconds for matters that didn't interest him.

Caesar doubted that the Muscle Head could figure out the Sunny's engine. He also didn't know much about the green haired man. What motives he could have to kill Caesar was unknown. The Muscle Head remained a suspect.

The Dead Man was a scientific curiosity and idiot in Caesar's mind. Here was a walking, talking and breathing man that had no body. No absolute need for food or air, as far as the horned man could tell. With some study and experimentation, he believed the key to immortally could be unlocked.

However, immortality was over rated in Caesar's opinion.

Why would anyone want to live in this cesspit called life eternally? Sure, there were some nice things, if you had the means to get them. Like girl ships, those were great. However, typically, you would be slaving under someone or struggling to make ends meet. Or those inevitable betrayals. The imprisonments. The constant strife. The loss and heartbreak.

To live that, over and over again, one would inevitably go utterly mad. To Caesar, succumbing to insanity was worse than death. His mind was his pride, his joy and the key to his dreams.

Based on how the dead man fawned, adored and obsessed over his companions, Caesar suspected that he had already suffered tragedy. He bounced from place to place with delirious joy. Or reacted to each event or conversation with overflow of energy, reveling in what was around him… as if expecting what was here today, to be gone tomorrow.

The skeletal singer was already well on his way to true insanity Caesar theorized. Which would actually make him a good suspect. In a way, Caesar had harmed the Red Harpy's standing with the stern incident. Perhaps that was enough for the Dead Man to try and avenge his precious crewmates. Though, if demented love was the motive, then would he be willing to kill the cyborg as collateral? Maybe he knew that the metal man could survive such an explosion?

Caesar frowned, too many unanswered questions. The skeleton stayed on the list.

Last there was Long Nose. The weakest of the Straw Hats. The boy wasn't a complete idiot. He wouldn't kill Caesar for the stern incident. The pale man had assisted with his fighting ability and could help further. Based on that foolish desire to help his crew, a resource like himself wouldn't be harmed. However, from what he gathered, before the Cyborg's arrival, Long Nose had served as shipwright. That was a relative position of power and respect. Something that the boy lacked in Caesar's eyes. Removing the Cyborg from the picture would elevate Long Nose's position in the crew. For such an advance in status, loosing his scientific genius was probably seen as a regrettable but necessary sacrifice. Reasonable, Caesar had seen many men do far worse for even less than recognition, position and respect.

"Ya know, if you keep thinking that hard, smoke might start coming out of your ears." Caesar jumped in shock.

The Cyborg was still under the engine and was looking up at him with a smirk. Caesar had forgotten that he wasn't alone.

Bits pieces of melted rubber sat in a pile by the blue haired man along with a small pile of new tools. The big man chuckled.

"Now that I got your attention, I was wonder'in if you could go to the hatch over there and fetch some spare belts for me." He pointed to the far side of the room and Caesar now noted a small metal panel with a tiny groove for a hand hold.

The horned man sent a glare down at the Straw Hat and was met by a megawatt smile.

Neither relented.

Time passed, and laughter slowly bubbled up in the metal man. Caesar eyed him with distaste and caution.

"Ah-haha! You're a tough customer, ya know that?" He continued to laugh and Caesar started to grind his teeth in aggravation.

"Ah-haha, ohh… sorry I really shouldn't be laughing but yer' too cute. Back in my stomping grounds, some of the hellions I picked up were like you. All stubborn as heck, angry, bitter and out to prove someth'in." Caesar's anger boiled over.

"I. Am not cute. I. Am not stubborn. I. Am _nothing_ like anyone you have _ever_ met! I am one of a kind! I am a genius! The likes the world has never seen before! I _**will**_ be the greatest scientist ever known. Mark my words, then again, being a mere engineer- no! A mere shipwright, like you wouldn't be able to grasp the magnitude of my genius." What started in an angry growl ended in a furious shout.

The big man didn't react and just calmly regarded Caesar. Then with a sigh, he began to crawl out from under the engine. Caesar could now see oil and soot covering the man's hands as well as random stains on his body.

He then got up and sat down cross-legged across from Caesar. He said nothing, but continued to watch the pale man with a calm gaze.

Caesar's angered pants evened out eventually, and he glared daggers at the Cyborg. How dare he. Was it not enough that he had lost so much to these flimsy smile pirates? That he was chained by them? Cut off from the very air? But to be ridiculed. To be compared to ruffians of the street, his brow furrowed as he fumed. He'd come far from his beginnings, he no longer was no-name street trash.

"You calm down now?" The Cyborg asked in a patient tone.

Caesar responded by sending the man a snarl.

"Aw, come on. Look, do as I do, deep breaths" The big man made a show of taking huge breaths and sent a grin the horned man's way.

"I didn't say you weren't gonna become a big time scie-" The Cyborg was cut off by a hiss from Caesar.

"Greatest scientist!" The big man smirked in response.

"Big time greatest scientist, right. I didn't say ya wouldn't become one. As far as I know, nobody else on there ship has said otherwise neither." He paused and gave Caesar a flat stare.

"Are you really try'in to say you're not stubborn? You basically drove curly-bro nuts with worry fer weeks. Chopper said it took forever for you to work with him. Heck, I'm ask'in for a little favor and y'er throw'in a hissy fit. Should I keep this list going?" Caesar glowered, he didn't like where this conversation was headed.

"I don't think the engine malfunction was an accident." Caesar stated and the Cyborg tilted his head.

"Oh? What makes ya say that gas-boy?" The pale man raised his hand to point.

"The dial, it's low on the board, inset even. I assume that it's normally set near the seven hundreds. I don't think there's anyway to bump into that dial and set it to max on accident. This was done on purpose."

The big man frowned and regarded the dial again. The big jaw jutted out and he hummed in thought. At last he shook his head.

"That is a tough dial to mess with, but the way me and my mates play around makes it doable. We've all messed up or broken something at one point or another. It was an accident, I'll fix it and move along." Caesar's eyes narrowed.

"You are a fool." The big man raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"I admit, I ain't nearly as _smart_ as you. Why don't you fill me in on what I'm missing." Caesar didn't detect the sarcasm and surged forward.

"It's obvious. Long Nose wants you gone. You took his position as shipwright from him. Getting it back will elevate his position and power in the crew." The Cyborg regarded the horned man.

Silence stretched out, and the big man continued to look at him intently. Caesar began to fidget. Finally the man spoke in a low and slow tone.

"And why would he need that power and position back?" Caesar rolled his eyes.

"Same reasons for why everyone wants those. More control over their lives. More money. More protection. Is this really news to you? Did you grow up in a cave?" The Cyborg didn't have the look of understanding that Caesar expected to see.

Instead, he looked on Caesar with sad, yet serious eyes.

"Nah, I didn't grow up in a cave, but those things, position and power. They aren't the most important things to have in life." He sighed and continued.

"But you need them don't you? Pretty badly too." Caesar cackled.

"Shu-lu-lu-lu! Look at me!" He raised his manacles and shook the chains violently.

"I didn't have enough power to stay free, not enough influence to guard my interests. Now all I have are these chains and the position of a pawn. Yes, I need what Long Nose wants and I'll get it all back one way or another." The threat hung heavy in the air.

"You're wrong. Usopp doesn't need more power or influence. He has me, Luffy and the rest as namaka. We look out for each other, and together, we can give whatever we're facing one hell of an ass kicking, or a major headache at least." He sent the pale man a fierce grin.

"But let's talk about you. You've don't have any friends, which is why you need that power and influence so bad right?" Caesar's eyes narrowed, this man was delusional.

"First of all 'friendship' isn't real. A fairytale crafted to make it easier to take advantage of others. What you have with the other Straw Hats is a partnership of convenience. You protect and support each other. However, the moment one of you is dissatisfied, it will all fall apart, most likely with one or more of you dead. Your Usopp, I think, isn't happy with the arrangement anymore."

Caesar expected an outburst of anger, he didn't get one.

Instead the metal man was giving Caesar a heartbroken look. Looking upon him as if he was an injured animal caught in a trap. Caesar bristled.

"Why are you looking at me like that!? I'm speaking the truth! I'm doing us both a favor. Go get on Long Nose's case and don't let him destroy us along with the ship!"

The Cyborg took his shades off and placed them into a compartment in his arm. Despite Caesar's shouting, he still looked sorrowful. He reached out a with his massive arm and gripped Caesar's shoulder. The pale man flinched at the contact.

"Ceasar, in my experience, the folks who are in the most pain are the angriest and most bitter people. I don't know what has happened to ya, but I'm sorry that it did. I hope that you'll be able to live life with a DON someday." Caesar wanted to scramble away from the big hand.

He hated being touched but the pure sadness in the Cyborg's eyes kept him pinned in place. Why was he so sad? It was the truth, friendship was a lie. Also, what the hell was a 'DON'?

"My life's story is none of your business. As for how I should live, I look forward to when Dolflamingo makes my time with you bat-shit crazy pirates DONe." The big hand was slowly retracted.

The metal man was quiet again, still looking at Caesar with such mournful eyes. His shoulders sagged and the man was unnaturally still. There was no bopping to unheard beats.

Silence stretched out once more between the two men.

Caesar was beginning to wonder if he had broken the Cyborg's mind when the metal man suddenly sprung up from sitting.

"ALLLRRIIGHT! Listen up Caesar! And listen good!" The metal man began to snap his fingers to punctuate his words.

Caesar watched in dread when the Cyborg began to dance. One hand on the back of his head and the other pointed at the horned man. Hips swaying side to side.

"One! Two! One! Two! You! Uh-hu! Uh-hu! Are sad and mad! But! One! Two! One! Two!" Music was playing from some hidden speaker in the metal man and, though he wanted to, Caesar couldn't look away.

"Me! Telling you! One! Two! One! Two! That's gonna change! One! Two! One! Two!" A disco ball somehow appeared above the cyborg and Caesar could feel his brow twitching.

"Here! It's gonna change! One! Two! One! Two! You'll see what you could be! One! Two! One! Two! And live with a DON!" Caesar could practically feel his IQ dropping, he desperately gathered his will power.

"One! Two! One! Two! First we-"

"If I get the damned belts will you stop!?" Caesar shouted and the show came to a halt.

The disco ball receded into the ceiling and the music stopped. The Cyborg was laughing again and Caesar was sure he hadn't broken the Cyborg's mind.

The metal man was already insane.

"Ah-hahaha! You're right! We better get back to fixing the engine before the others arrive. They'll probably want to leave in a hurry too!"

Caesar quickly got up to get the spare belts. Anything to save him from the Cyborg's antics.

For the first time since he had met the Straw Hats, Caesar prayed for the rest of the crew to return as soon as possible.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _Rodeo_ \- I've fallen off the bronco. A big life event happened. I ended up getting a new job and I'm currently in a 'trial period' where if I don't do well on the projects, I get sent home. I really like being able to buy food and pay rent, so it has been 10+ hour work days. I write for this fic while I commute on my phone everyday, but I can't sit and write for hours anymore. Once I'm out of the trial period, I hope to write more again.

 _General_ \- Time for a confession. I actually stopped following One Piece after the time skip. I got pretty miffed at how everyone changed so much without explanation and got tired of all the politics. Franky is one of the characters I was most up in arms over. I really liked how he looked and talked back in Water 7. He was like that goofy, yet mature older brother. After the timeskip, he seemed to loose that and become this comedic robotic curio. I decided to write him more like how I saw him in Water 7. You can thank Caesar for getting me back into One Piece, I stumbled on some clips of him on YouTube and had my curiosity peaked. As always, thanks for reading and I treasure your reviews! They make my days far brighter and help me more than I can say! Till next time!


	8. Chapter 8

Caesar awoke with a start.

He was already moving before he fully awoke. Lunging at his attacker.

Bit and pieces came to him.

Touch, someone had grabbed his shoulder in his sleep. He lashed out from both practice and fear.

Dark, he was in the Thousand Sunny' sleeping quarters.

Noise, snores, his chains rattling and a voice. Someone was talking.

He was on top of someone, trying to strangle them for all his worth.

But something wasn't right.

His attacker wasn't fighting back.

Caesar's vision focused and saw that it was the Dead Man beneath him.

He had both hands wrapped around the singer's neck. A bony hand was on his wrist. It wasn't struggling against his grip, but patting his arm in an attempt to get the pale man's attention. The skeleton was speaking in hushed and soothing tones.

"-p Caesar-san. It's alright, you're fine. My apologies for alarming you. I'm sorry, wake up Caesar-san. It's alright, you're fine." He continued to repeat the words like a calming mantra.

Caesar relented his grip and got off the skeleton.

He wondered what the punishment for attempted murder was on this ship.

He sat on his sleeping pad and watched the Dead Man sit up. Skeletal hand touching where Caesar's death grip had been.

His eyes scanned the cabin. The rest of the Straw Hat men continued to slumber on. Caesar had learned almost nothing short of a marine attack would wake them.

He could feel the Dead Man looking at him. He kept his gaze fixed to the floorboards of the cabin. Looking into the hollow eye sockets of that skull, seeing nothing but darkness, yet feeling his gaze returned was unnerving. He was more comfortable around corpses that didn't move.

"Caesar-san, I apologize again for intruding upon your sleep. I didn't mean to alarm you." The skeleton spoke in a soft yet melodious whisper. Caesar's lip curled.

"Then what the hell were you trying to do?" The skeleton chuckled quietly.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! I was on my turn at watch, and I saw the signs of something about to happen. There's not much time, but I thought you should see it. Will you come?" The weight of the boney man's gaze increased.

This could be a trap. Caesar already doubted the man's sanity, the skeleton did just dismiss a murder attempt as if they had merely bumped into each other instead of a violent attack. Maybe this was a ploy to lure him away from the others and finish him. Or maybe there was something to see, but what sort of thing would the Dead Man want to show him but not the others? Caesar's frown deepened.

There was movement from the skeleton and Caesar flinched, attention now on what the dead man was doing. Instantly very aware of how much distance was between them and at how heavy the seastone manacles suddenly were. Their biting and acidic touch on his skin, drinking away his strength.

The skeleton leapt to his feet, cane loosely grasped, as he took a moment to fix his top hat that had been knocked askew from the scuffle.

"You don't have to accept the invitation, after all, sleep is important! I best go back to my post." With that, the skeleton took his leave.

Caesar wouldn't have called the way the Dead Man walked walking. The skeleton seemed to glide, feet barely touching the ground.

Caesar watched him go out the door.

He frowned.

If this was a trap, and he ignored it, the skeleton would just try again later. Eventually, he would be successful in killing the horned man. It was probably best to have a final confrontation now.

If it wasn't a trap, then what could the Dead Man's motives be? What would he gain from showing him something? What was that something?

Caesar sat, his thoughts simmering.

With a quiet growl, the horned man collected his chains. Gathering as much as he could in his hands to keep them from rattling. Then he got to his feet and tried to tiptoe to the door.

The men's cabin was a mix of chaos and order. Bunks arranged in two neat rows with chests at the foot of each. That's where the order ended.

Random items could be seen here or there. Swords and saved lollipops hung off one bunk. Another had an ashtray precariously balanced on a bed post. The next had various technical diagrams and artwork hung up. The last had picked clean meat bones on the covers and various musical instruments leaning against it.

He slowly crept by the beds.

The Muscle Head laid in his bunk like a stone. The bunk beneath him was empty. Though Chopper always began the night in his bed, he almost always woke up in someone else's bed. Tonight he was curled up on Black Leg's stomach. The cook was sprawled out on his bunk, one leg half off the edge. One arm above his head as the other hand rested on Chopper.

Caesar nearly tripped on a large wrench and hissed as his toe throbbed.

He shot the next bunk a dirty look. On the top slept the metal mountain and the bed bowed slightly under his weight. It was now, when he slept, that his robotic side was most apparent. He was unnaturally still, his chest didn't rise and fall with the need to breath. Also, now that he was finally quiet, the faint clacks of gears could be heard coming from that massive chest.

Beneath the Cyborg, Long Nose loudly snored. There was a large grin on the sniper's face as he mumbled what sounded like an acceptance speech.

Caesar rolled his eyes at the marksman as he slinked past.

He tried to give the last bunk a wide berth. The Captain slept with some bones littering his covers and one dangling from his mouth. The remains of midnight snack that Black Leg would be up in arms over later.

Straw Hat also slept with a grin. Stretched out long and with both arms confidently behind his head. Between the bones and grin, Straw Hat almost looked sinister to Caesar.

Caesar scurried as fast and quietly as he could past the slumbering Captain.

He stepped out onto the deck and closed the door softly. Just because the Straw Hat men typically slept like dead, didn't mean Caesar was willing to risk waking them. He didn't even want to _think_ about the beating Black Leg would give him or the screeched lecture from the Red Harpy for sneaking about after dark.

Caesar looked about and reveled in the night. It was a hot night yet constant strong winds made the temperature perfect. A misty haze hung heavy in the air, giving everything a soft look. The heavens were choked with clouds that hung heavy and low, threatening to rupture at any moment.

A storm was brewing and Caesar was delighted.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! Caesar-san! Come up this way!" Caesar's head snapped towards the bow, where a skeleton merrily waved to him.

The horned man's hair whipped about him in the wind and lab coat billowed out behind him like a cape. Caesar had to lean forward into the blasts of wind as he made his way towards the Dead Man.

With each step it got darker and the heavens got brighter. His suspicion receded a little as he gazed curiously at the weather.

By the time he made it to the bow the mists had thickened even more but had sunk low onto the ocean's surface. Making it look like the Thousand Sunny was sailing on an ocean of writhing fog.

He made it onto the bow but kept a healthy two yards or so between him and the skeleton. Keeping half an eye on the singer as he studied the weather.

The water build up in the clouds must have been off the charts if light was getting refracted back into the heavens. The mists he wasn't entirely sure about. It was hot enough for evaporation, but the water vapors wouldn't normally stay in one layer like this. Caesar suspected the current they were on had notable amounts of Torladium. A rather rare element, but able to change the densities of other compounds in the right conditions.

He fumed internally.

If he only had at least some of his old equipment he could have validated his theory. If he was right, then there was an island with a dragon hoard's worth of Torladium near. He was sure that Franky would understand the value and convince the others to find it. With a decent amount of the element, he could finally try making those hyper volatile vapo-

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! I'm glad you like the incoming storm so much!" Ceasar flinched. Right, he wasn't alone.

He unclasped his hands. Caesar had been unconsciously rubbing them together in excitement at the prospect of experimentation. He stood tall and looked at the Dead Man from under hooded eyes, brimming with suspicion once more.

"The storm? That's what you woke me for? Why? Shouldn't you have gone to the Re- to Nami instead?" Caesar asked in a clipped tone.

The skeleton rocked onto the balls of his feet and back, cane now idly twirling in one hand as the other gripped his hat. That afro simply waved slightly in the wind and his garments billowed back. The cloth pressing against the bones beneath and making them plain to see. Caesar wondered how the wind wasn't knocking someone as light as the skeleton over.

"Why yes! Yo-ho-ho-ho! She noticed before I did and told me what to expect. Nami-san said that it shouldn't affect our course too much." The skeleton stopped twirling his cane and leaned upon it and continued.

"You like storms right? So I figured you'd like to see it!" The dead man gestured out towards the sea and looked at Caesar expectantly.

"What makes you think that I like storms?" Caesar asked in a low tone, his eyes sharp and narrow.

The skeleton sobered and tilted his head in question.

"You don't? When the Sunny was punching through the heart of a storm, and we devil fruit users were sent to the aquarium, that was the first time I saw you truly smile since you joined us. You seemed enamored with the storm." The dead man paused and brought up a skeletal finger to tap his chin in thought.

Caesar stared at the skeleton in shock. Dumbfounded. His mind frantically tried to reboot.

"Ah, perhaps I was mistaken! My apologies! Yo-ho-ho-ho!" the skeleton's laugh seemed to be snatched up by the wind, making it have a eerie whistle to it.

Caesar managed to recollect himself. This person, who he had tried to strangle not even a half hour ago, was going out of his way to try and make him happier. The skeleton was insane, but surely not insane enough to want to cheer up a prisoner. He had absolutely nothing to gain from doing the horned pawn a good turn.

There must be some angle that he wasn't seeing, Caesar decided. The skeleton was after something or wanted to manipulate him. He had to be.

Caesar rallied. A scowl settled onto his face. He hunched forward unconsciously, ready for flight or a fight. Gold eyes sharpened and tried to note every detail about the dead man.

The wind grew in fury. It whipped at the hair of the two men. Caesar's mane seemed to come to life, it writhed all about him. The skeleton's afro no longer waved, but bobbed in the Gale. Loose garments loudly snapping in the wind.

The skeleton failed to notice Caesar's shift in attitude, choosing instead to watch the brewing storm. Caesar snarled at the man.

"What does it matter to you if I like storms?" Suspicion drenched the pale man's words and the skeleton hummed.

"I am the musician of this ship." The skeleton said at last and returned to storm watching.

Caesar waited for more explanation but the Dead Man said nothing more, as if that was a plain and full answer. Caesar rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you can arrange noises into patterns that please the simple folk on this ship. A grand achievement, I'm sure, but what does that have to do with showing me this storm?" The pale man said, sarcasm dripping off his words.

"Everything." The skeleton responded calmly.

The wind howled louder with each passing moment, the layer of mist on the ocean condensed, pressed down by the gale, except for small patches. These wisps of mist got caught by the wind and stretched up towards the sky. They looked like ghostly arms, trying to claw their way out of hell and back to heaven.

The solid wall of clouds grew even thicker and unnaturally bright. They seemed to sink closer to the ocean. As if heaven was trying to collect the lost souls, or more likely, smite them back to hell.

Caesar gave the Dead Man a disbelieving snort. Music was art. Impractical. Useless. A frivolous luxury for the wealthy. The horned man looked down his nose at the skeleton.

Arcs of energy coursed through parts of the heavens. Like street hounds, bounding from one place to another. Looking for something to scavenge or kill.

"A musician's calling is not just to compose or play music, especially on a ship." The Dead Man stated calmly, seeming to take no note of Caesar's disdain.

"I chase sorrow away, beckon joy to dance, soothe anger into slumber, convince hope to stand proud and guard the hearts of those that walk with me. One of the ways I do this is by pouring my soul into the music I play." The gales tried to steal the Dead Man's words. Caesar had to focus to hear them.

"How do you do all that by just playing the same son-" Caesar began to ask but the skeleton cut him off and carried on.

"Some hearts are jaded, scared or hardened. They are deaf to the virtues of music. That's when I have to get creative." The musician made a sweeping gesture towards the growing maelstrom.

"This, this is also music. One on the many songs the earth sings. The rage of the storm, sorrow of the gales, the vengeful thirst of the lightning. Their music speaks to you, doesn't it Caesar-san?" The skeleton spun to face him. Those hollow sockets capturing gold eyes.

Caesar faltered, unconsciously taking a step back from the Dead Man. Shoulders hunching forward, defensively.

The wind began to curl, gathering the arms of mist into tortured columns. Red lightning snapped down at the mists that dared to raise themselves toward the divine.

The skeleton stood relaxed while wind buffeted against him. Mists clamored up over the edge of the Thousand Sunny and ghosted over the deck. Lightning continued to snap in the air.

Normally, Caesar would have loved such a storm.

He didn't like being off balance. He didn't know how to respond to the skeleton's advance. It had been ages since anyone had tried to figure out what he liked. There had to be a catch. The Dead Man must want something in return. Caesar responded slowly, his words cautious.

"So what if it does? What's the point? What do you want?" The skeleton regarded the horned man.

Rather than answering the questions the skeleton turned his back and started to walk towards the rear of the bow.

"Let's save talk for later Caesar-san. It'd be a shame to miss this storm. Nami-san had said this storm would be all bark and no bite. Let us enjoy ourselves, come sit by the mast with me." Caesar watched the skeleton with narrowed eyes.

Despite the gale, the Dead Man still managed to be the definition of grace and glided to the mast while clutching his hat. There he sat with his back to the mast. Settled, he removed his hat and held it with his cane. He paused and looked back up at Caesar, seeming to note how the other man hadn't moved to follow. He laughed and patted the deck next to him.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! Come! Come! Sit! I promise the view from here will be quite grand!" Caesar's frown deepened and stood his ground.

The skeleton hummed and seemed to think. Boney digits drumming against his knee. An idea seemed to bloom on that white face, amazing how it managed to be so expressive without flesh.

"Ah! You must be hungry! A good show isn't as good on an empty stomach. I'll go wake Sanji-san." The Dead Man leapt to his feet, already bounding towards the men's quarters.

Caesar felt the blood drain from his face.

Black Leg would have his hide for sneaking about after dark, regardless of if the skeleton had invited him. He ran.

"W-wait! Brooke! Wait!" Caesar shouted.

The skeleton paused, already only meters away from the men's cabin. He turned towards Caesar, head tilted in question.

Caesar caught up. Both of his hands were up before him and a strained smile painted onto his face, a pleading gesture.

"No, no! I'm not hungry. Don't wake Black Leg!" Caesar stumbled over his words.

"He has to wake up early and make breakfast for the others right? You said sleep was important earlier!" Caesar rushed, desperate to avoid a reprimand.

The skeleton hummed, cane twirling in his hand once more.

"So, then, we can return the bow and watch?" The Dead Man asked and Caesar nodded frantically in response.

The two, once again, set out for the bow.

The skeleton resettled himself against the bow's mast and patted the deck next to him again.

Caesar sulked as he moved to take a seat beside the Dead Man. Feet dragging with each step of the way, chains clanking in the wind.

The columns of mist exploded when struck by the lighting. They shattered and fell to level mists on the ocean, smited back to the depths.

The clouds raptured. Fine droplets fell in sheets, only to be warped by the winds into fantastical shapes, almost lifelike.

Caesar examined the wet sheen on his skin and noted the red tint in the water. Again, he longed for his lab. There was a good chance of Torladium being present. Granted, there were many possible reasons for the discoloration, but felt that the discolored lightning was enough to validate exploration of his theory.

Caesar's fists clenched.

Without his equipment, he couldn't prove it. No one ever believed his hunches. It was only after hours of study and research papers scores of pages long, did people reluctantly listen to what he said. Dolflamingo had been different. He had been more than willing to listen, then again, his studies played right into the Joker's interests. Everyone was always after something.

The storm continued to rage.

Both men watched the maelstrom in silence.

After some time, Caesar found his hands relaxing. His head leaned back against the mast, watching the lightning crash into the mists. The rain fell on him, delightfully cold. Gales began to curl upward, forcing the waves beneath the mists to swell in height and catching the Sunny's sails. Soon the ship was lurching up on waves to the crest and crashing down. The columns of mist began to spin again, reforming themselves, and they tried to reach for the heavens in one last doomed, but valiant attempt. Caesar grinned in delight at the height of the storm.

The light in the clouds grew even brighter, as if enraged that these lesser aspects of nature would dare look past their station, and up, towards where their masters resided. Rebellion would not be tolerated. The sky, suddenly filled with writhing lightning, and all at once, righteous fury rained down.

Caesar was blinded momentarily when the air filled with lightning. Claps of thunder, in scores, went off not a moment later. Making the pale man's ears ring and the timbers of the Sunny shiver.

As it always was in life, the greater power stood the victor.

The mists had been dashed. No columns of rebellion nor thick layers of mist upon the ocean to be seen. Realizing the fight was lost, it's comrade vanquished, the gales relented. Becoming docile breezes in sight of the awakened lord. The waves lessened, seeming to almost sulk, that it's fun had been cut short.

With order restored, it's power and station confirmed, the heavens darkened. The rage abating, night returned. Clouds thinned and broke, allowing the stars to see the aftermath of the battle.

All too soon, everything calmed, almost no evidence that a storm had come and gone to be seen.

The tranquility in the wake of the storm was ruined by the skeleton.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! That was an impressive sight even though I have no eyes to see it with! Skull Joke!" The Dead Man laughed and applauded. Skeletal hands clacking together.

Caesar rolled his eyes at the Skull Joke. Did any of these people ever get tired of doing the same gimmick over and over again?

"I must say, it's been a long time since I saw red lightning!" The skeleton's remark had Caesar's full attention.

"You've seen it before? When? Where?" Caesar turned towards the other man and demanded.

"Hmmm" The Dead Man's gaze turned up towards the cloudy night sky. His hands splayed. One hand moving over finger to finger on the other. His jaw opening and closing, as if speaking to himself. Caesar watched the other man think with barely concealed impatience. He thirsted for any and all information of possible Torladium locations.

The Dead Man stayed quiet for quite some time, Caesar's irritation grew. Was he ignoring the question? He was beginning to grin his teeth when the Dead Man laughed.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! So long! I don't really remember! Maybe eighty years? It was before I met Yoki, while I was a soldier. On my… third campaign? Or was it the fourth? Well, it was a shore line skirmish on the northern coast of Lucenza. Nice town before the war, they make wonderful violas. We were facing the last of the rebel forces when the storm rolled in, that made the fight a nightmare. Couldn't see any terrain. I nearly lost an arm in that fight and my troop mate…" The skeleton trailed off, suddenly going very still.

Caesar raised an eyebrow, wondering if the Dead Man was senile in addition to being borderline insane. Then in a rattling whisper, the skeleton spoke.

"... I can't recall his name. He was my best friend, he played the drums and I the flute for the army to march to. He was my best mate then. He died in that fight. He took a cannon ball to the chest. I personally delivered his tags and drum to his widow and daughter… I can't recall his name…" Boney hands tightened on the cane.

Caesar looked on. The man was clearly upset. The pale man had perfect memory and could easily imagine the horror that came with forgetting. Knowledge, memory, cunning, they were more than half of a battle. Losing them would reduce the ability to survive dramatically. The Dead Man had shown him the storm, he supposed he should try to cheer him up. Nothing was free in life after all.

"How can you be expected to remember anything if you no longer have a brain to recall things with? Skull Joke." Caesar tried to say lightly with his best fake sympathetic smile painted on his face.

The Dead Man's skull slowly turned to look at him. Again, those hollow sockets gave Caesar shivers. There was nothing but darkness but, somehow, he could see the sorrow and weariness as plain as a nose on his own face in those gaping holes.

Another rattling sigh and the skeleton seemed to slump back against the mast. All his normal grace and poise forgotten for the moment.

"That is true, I no longer have a brain. I no longer have a heart, nor eyes, nose or even skin. I am a shadow of what I once was. Though it's difficult, I must focus on one thing. I still walk among the living, I'm still here while so many of my comrades have fallen. I have been granted the blessing of a second chance at life. I shall not squander that, I will do my namaka, both living and dead, proud. When the day comes for me to see them all again, we will all rejoice and play music together with our heads heads held high." Caesar's fake smile wavered and dissolved. He somberly looked down at the deck by his feet.

He could feel the weight of the skeleton's gaze on him.

"Caesar-san, do you have anyone to remember or live on for?" The Dead Man asked in a soft melodious voice.

Caesar hated looking back.

Nothing worth remembering. All that mattered was the future, and doing what he could to make each day better than the last.

"No." Caesar snapped and sent the musician a glare to ward off further inquiry.

"Truly? Not a single soul, living or dead?" The Dead Man ignored the heated look and pushed on.

A memory flashed up before he could beat it back. One of a tiny hand in his.

He didn't want to remember. The memory and skeleton's prying made his blood boil. The past was said, done and buried.

It was going to stay that way.

"No means no! Or are you starting to forget what words mean as well?!" Caesar hissed with rage and venom.

The Dead Man was silent and Caesar bristled with fury.

The sound of waves calmly lapping against the Sunny filled the air. A breeze floated in, as if to try and calm the horned man. If anything, the inability to feel the wind with nothing more than his skin further stoked his temper.

"My apologies Caesar-san, Franky-san had warned me that there were many delicate subjects when you were concerned. I should not have pried." Chains rattled as Caesar brought his palm up to his face.

Fantastic, the Straw Hats were gossiping about him. Didn't they have anything better to do?

"Shut up." Caesar ground out through gritted teeth.

He hoped that the Dead Man would stay quiet. It wouldn't be wise to assault the man twice in one night.

The moon finally emerged as the last of the clouds broke into small innocent puffs. The ocean looked like a black mirror that rippled, glinting with the reflected light of the moon. A picture of serenity as the Sunny glided ever forward.

Caesar boiled. All his emotions up in arms, demanding revenge for the trespass. The inability to act made him grind his teeth with a force that made it audible.

The skeleton stayed quiet.

He stewed in his anger. Going over his now, very very long, list of infractions and injustices done to him by the Straw Hats.

Mere death wasn't enough for this lot.

"I have someone. They're waiting for me." The Dead Man gently said.

"After what? Eighty years? They're probably dead!" Caesar snapped.

"No, not eighty. Closer to fifty. Luffy-san and the others told me that they had met Laboon roughly four years ago. He's still waiting and I'll go with Luffy-san back to him."

"He's waited for you all that time? What an idiot. Wasting all that time, doing nothing and waiting for you. If he's still alive and there, he's not likely to grow a brain any time soon." Caesar chuckled.

"Shu-lu-lu-lu! You two will be a matching set! The brainless duo! People far and wide will come to see you both! You'll be famous!" He calmed and sneered as he turned to look down his nose at the Dead Man.

"But that's if you even manage to make it back. You already died to the Grand Line once. Going for double or nothing now. Let me tell you a secret, you're going to bust on this bet… again!" Caesar was now grinning.

The Dead Man said nothing, instead choosing to drum skeletal digits on his cane. He simply stared out to the ocean and Caesar felt cheated. That had been a high quality spiteful barb, it had deserved a reaction.

Caesar sulked as the skeleton seemed to ignore him, his attempt at revenge for the earlier trespass an utter failure.

Silence stretched out between the two men and the moon finally emerged fully, casting a silver glow on the world.

"That's a possibility, Caesar-san. I may end up falling to the Grand Line again." The Dead Man spoke at last, he didn't look away from the horizon.

" _Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying..._ " The skeleton sighed and looking up to the moon.

"Strange how some things stay perfectly sharp in memory and yet others fade with time. A dear teacher of mine told me that when I was but a lad. Back then, I didn't grasp it. I was young, invincible with not a worry in mind." He took a deep breath and Caesar could hear bones rattle ever so slightly.

"Now I'm an old man, even though I do not have the flesh or wrinkles to prove it. Now I know the meaning. All things come to an end, that, we have no power over. It is up to us to make the most of the time we have." The Dead Man raised a skeletal hand, palm upturned to the moon, as if trying to catch a beam of light, and the white bone glowed beneath the moon.

"Does this inevitable end make what we do meaningless? Or matter all the more? Perhaps it is a test to see how far we can go? Or a game to see little people try and fail? I do not know, but I can say this." The skeleton turned and those hollow sockets bore into Caesar.

"I will use everything I have in these old bones to see this crew through to the end, no matter what that end may be." Caesar fidgeted uncomfortably under the Dead Man's stare.

"Though you are filled with malice, I don't believe that you practice what you preach. Yes the odds may not be in my favor, but neither are they for you. You aim to become the greatest scientists but there are so many more people out there, better positioned and equipped than you. Yet here you are, fighting and striving for a goal so far away. Well? What say you Caesar-san?" Caesar glared from beneath his bangs.

And who's fault was that? He wouldn't be as badly off if it wasn't for this sack of bones and his meddling friends. He cast his glare away and towards the horizon. The Dead Man had a point, even while working beneath Dolflamingo, he was at a handicap. While he had resources, he had two powerhouses to keep satisfied. Neither of the two wanted objectives that would get him closer towards his goal. One was simply taking Vegapunk's theory and making it practical. Not a small feat, very few could do that and it had been a fairly simple matter for Caesar. A testament to his genius. However, those were ultimately the fruits of that old coot's labor, not his own. The other, was impossible. To take human babies and make them grow into Giants for that vain and vile hag. A royal waste of resources, on all fronts. Chemicals and lab materials, effectively burned. Humans, that could have been tasked to other goals, made to die for a useless cause. Worst of all, his time, gone. Never to be regained. True, he neglected that project as much as he could, but the hag constantly gnawed on his ankles. Seriously speaking, the only thing that would come of it would be the bleeding hearts of the world out for his hide in exchange for the children's fates.

"My situation is completely different from yours. I already possess an intellect far superior to anyone. Yours is a matter of chance, mine, is only a matter of time. The people of this world are blind, stupid and slow, but even they will not be able to ignore my genius forever. I will take this world by storm." Chains rattled as Caesar folded his arms across his chest, confident grin firmly in place.

"Ah, I see, I see. It is all things beyond yourself and outside your control that you have no faith in." The horned man rolled his eyes.

"Obviously! Why on earth would I..." He paused to arrogantly place a hand on his chest, fingers splayed. "Put any trust in people who, at best, can only hope to do only half as well as I could? If I want something done right, I need to do it myself."

"Have you ever trusted anyone?" The skeleton asked low and calm voice.

"Phft! It's absurd to even ask that question." The horned man sneered.

Silence stretched out between the two men.

Waves lapped against the Sunny in an even rhythm. The wind gently whistled past, filling the sails.

The Dead Man's head was turned down at his hands.

More time passed and Caesar grew bored.

"What was dying like?" The skeleton slowly looked up and stared for a long moment.

He then laughed.

Yup, the skeleton had certainly lost some marbles Caesar mentally confirmed.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! You, Caesar-san, are the first to have asked me that since I died." He then sobered.

"Names have power Caesar-san. To say one is to invoke that being, risk calling it forth. Some entities are best left untouched." He paused and snapped his cane up to lightly tap one of Caesar's horns. The pale man frowned on the intrusion.

He brought his cane back down and braced it across his knees.

"I didn't fully enter the realm beyond, but I can say this. Imagine an ocean that eternally stretches out above, below and all about you. You can feel it as if it was part of you, making you realize just how very small you are. Your mind recoils at the eternity it cannot grasp. It is then, when that ocean without bounds, turns, to look at you, that…" The skeleton's voice faded and his grasp on his cane tightened into a death grip.

Caesar found his attention fully on the Dead Man. Wondering how much was truth and how much was conjured.

"That? That what? What is the 'ocean'? Where did you go?" The horned man impatiently demanded.

The skeleton seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had entered and issued a laugh that sounded more like a sigh.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho… no, I dare not say more but…" He paused and unclasped a skeletal hand from his cane and raised it to the level of his eye. "The powers we fruit users have… do not come from any heaven that man knows." Caesar's mind whirled.

Where was that place? What was there? Did the devil fruits come from there? That could possibly explain some of the extra dimensional radiation treatments he had to give his artificial devil fruit seeds. Why the treatments empowered the seeds rather than obliterate them, the answer would be in that place. An answer so great that not even that thrice cursed Vegapunk knew it. Caesar resolved that he would go there one day and plunder the knowledge he wanted.

"Do you remember anything about traveling there? Do you recall how many 'veils' you went through?" The Skeleton turned to him, hand still in the air, his jaw hung ajar.

Moments passed and the Dead Man seemed to collect himself.

"Caesar-san , you are a reckless one. I will not speak more on this. There is much more at play than any of us realize." Caesar didn't relent.

"What's at play?" The Dead Man drummed his fingers in response to the horned man's demands.

"Very well Caesar-san . Tell me, why should I speak further on such dangerous subjects when you don't even answer my questions?" Caesar scowled at the skeleton.

"Because! The questions you ask are useless or obvious! My questions have a reason! A goal!" Chains rattled as Caesar threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Oh? You desire answers, then perhaps you should humor my questions, hmmm?" Caesar's frown deepened and he defensively hunched forward.

He regarded the Dead Man. The skeleton sat relaxed now, watching the other, knowing he had the power - the answers Caesar wanted. He didn't like this. He'd have to play the Dead Man's game.

"Fine! What do you want to know?" Caesar snarled through clenched teeth.

"Let's go back to what I asked earlier. Do you have anyone to live on for? Surely you do." The skeleton asked softly.

Caesar hunched forward even more, teeth bared in a vicious snarl. He didn't want to go there, but… this might be his one chance to learn more of the planes beyond this one. Nothing was free in life.

"No I don't, she died. Now, what is the 'ocean'?" Caesar snapped.

"Ah, I'm sorry for your loss Caesar-san. Who was she?" The skeleton spoke in a gentle tone and Caesar ground his teeth.

Damn this skeleton, milking the situation for all it's worth.

Caesar remained quiet, stewing in his frustration. He really didn't want to remember her. Those tiny hands that had grasped his own so tightly. The way she had tried to smile even when things were terrible. Most of all, all the suffering she went through before she died.

His fists clenched and there was a growl in his words.

"I think she was my sister, her name was Julia. My earliest memories are with her in my arms as we wandered the streets." He fixed his angry gaze on the horizon, refusing to look at the skeleton.

"You two were alone? No parents? No orphanage?" A mirthless grin bloomed on Caesar's face a mist his anger.

"Have you ever heard of Reltia? We began life there." A sad rattling sigh came from the Dead Man.

Good, that should be enough explanation for the skeleton. Reltia was the biggest cesspit of corruption in all the Grand Line. There, the rich came to revel in violent and decadent pleasures. Any and all law was a paper thin mask on the worst of thieves and murders.

"Surely, there must have been someo-" Caesar cut him off.

"No there wasn't. I never knew of any parents and, if they dared show their faces to me now, I'd kill them. As for the children shelters, those were shams. Any child fool enough to go there was found in the slave market the very next day." Caesar chuckled darkly, remembering all the dirty naked bodies packed into cages. Waiting to be shipped out to their deaths.

The Dead Man was as still as a stone.

"So, how many 'veils' do you recall going through to get to the other realm?" Caesar hotly demanded. The skeleton didn't move, his stare filled with… with, he didn't know what, but Caesar didn't like it one bit.

"What happened to your sister?" Caesar let out a frustrated snarl, his chains rattling as his hands raised and flexed instinctively in a clawing motion.

There was just no pleasing this skeleton.

"She starved to death, that's what. She was too young. Now, what are the beings you don't want to talk about?" Caesar didn't get the answer he wanted.

Instead, the skeleton turned to look at him straight on.

"Ceasar-san, how old are you?" Caesar groaned, just how much did he have to say before he got his answers?

"I don't know, I'm in my late teens or early twenties, I think. Doesn't matter, now the beings,wh-" The skeleton cut him off.

"If you're from Reltia, how did you become educated?" Caesar huffed in defeat. He'd just have to deal with all the Dead Man's questions before his.

"There was a crappy old bookstore in town. Excellent place to hide. All those shelves and nooks, so many places a small child could fit into. The old granny, Charla, that ran it humored my presence. She taught me my letters and numbers in her spare time because she said that she 'couldn't stand the smell of stupid'. That's where I learned that knowledge is strength. I could run away better if I could read signs. Make sure I wasn't cheated when buying something. I wanted more. So I tried to read everything in her bookshop. That ended one day when I found her in a bodybag and her shop burned to the ground. Apparently, she fell behind on her protection fees." The horned man shrugged. The tough woman had a decent run in his opinion, better than many others.

"What did you do when you lost Charla-san?" Caesar rolled his shoulders and shifted off the mast to lay on the deck, facing the stars. His chains smacked the wood of the deck as he rested his head on his arms. It seemed like it was going to take a long time to please the skeleton.

"I hungered for more. So I hunted. There was a private school and fancy bookshops for the rich snots in town. I lurked there when I could, but my kind wasn't permitted to loiter about. Something about dirtying the air. I fleeced books when I could in addition to the normal things to live on. Sometimes I stole a book bags. Pro tip, don't steal pretty girl's backpacks even if they are easy marks, typically filled with useless magazines." He grimaced at the memory, all that work, just for latest fashion articles.

"I got by like that for a bit, until they began to chase me on sight. I thought I didn't have any options left, until I learned about the Navy. As inflexible as they are about Justice, they'll take on and train anyone that can pay for and pass the bar exam." He bitterly recalled all the thieving and odd labor jobs he had needed to do to afford the fee and the study materials. The gloves on his hands suddenly felt heavy.

They covered the branded Xs on the backs of his hands. When a thief got caught in the upper districts of Reltia, they earned themselves a brand on a hand. After the second, then the constables would start cutting a hand off for each transgression. When you didn't have hands left, then it was the noose. Thieving from the well-to-do was not tolerated.

"The rest is history, I passed with marks second only to that bastard Vegapunk's. Graduated the Marine Science Core program in record time. Climbed ranks and soon was close to the very top of the Science division." Caesar looked at the stars as he waited for the next question, dreading it.

"You've come very far Caesar-san and faced so much. That explains quite a bit. When did you decided to be the greatest scientists?" A smug grin appeared on Caesar's face in response.

"Of course I have! I'm a genius! As for when, well, I had decided to be the smartest back in Reltia. It changed to Scientist when I made the cut in the Science Core. With science, I saw that I could make an impact on the world around me, have power, strike my enemies down, discover the undiscovered, be someone of note. It was the path I had been seeking." He smiled widely, thinking of all the things he had created, all his discoveries, his accomplishments.

The skeleton was quiet, cane braced across his knees. His gaze had turned away from Caesar at some point and looked towards horizon. The night sky was beginning to lighten with the approach of day.

Caesar frowned at the Dead Man. That was it? He had made an explanation and only a tiny bit of praise? He growled quietly, he very much doubted the skeleton could have done half as well in his position. He had stopped asking questions though. It was his turn.

"How long would you guess it took you to travel from that realm to-" Caesar was cut off.

"Franky-san told me you thought friendship was a farce. You've done and traveled quite abit. Has no one ever been a friend to you?" Caesar scowled.

"I don't make the mistake of trusting anyone to do a task or help me anymore." The skeleton hummed in response.

"Hmmm, but you have made the mistake, as you put it, before?" Caesar narrowed his eyes. This skeleton was just barging into all the places he didn't want to talk about, but he didn't see when he would get another chance at information about other planes anytime soon.

The cool damp of the deck against his back was almost lost on him as a face floated to mind.

Brutus.

The slim and soft spoken marine science tech had joined the core at the same time as himself. He too had been of meager beginnings and aimed to be a technician. Not quite as low as his start but it was plain from the worn clothes and slightly gaunt face that making ends meet was an occasional challenge. They had been placed in a pod together and had naturally complemented each other. Caesar with the wild imagination, natural intuition and insane amounts of ambition was offset and enhanced by Brutus' careful, methodical and steady nature. A system of checks and balances. Caesar would push Brutus out of his comfort zones and the latter would rein in Caesar when things had gone too far.

They had achieved much together.

He had been young and foolish then. He had seen Brutus as a sort of ally back in those long gone days.

As Caesar had rushed faster and harder for the top, towards surmounting Vegapunk, Brutus became less supportive. Constantly voicing his distaste for the destructive turn in his experiments. They argued more and more until they came to blows. Brutus had stormed away and, the very next day, Vegapunk had descended. His time at the Science Core came to an explosive end.

Caesar knew full well that Brutus had blown the cover on his unsanctioned project to the heads of the Science Core.

He had been so close. A weapon to purge pirates off the face of the earth. The World Government would have been overjoyed. He would have been hailed as the greatest.

But he had been a fool, to trust Brutus.

No person beyond himself was to be trusted. Never again.

Caesar was jarred out of his thoughts when he felt a cane poking his shoulder. Chains rattled as his hand shot up to swat the walking stick away. He snapped at the Dead Man.

"Yes! Yes, even a genius like me is capable of the rare mistake. I had once considered a man named Brutus to be my ally. His drive failed me. He let his bleeding heart get the better of him. He outed my gamble to the narrow minded department heads. He failed me. He betrayed me." Caesar stated with anger and venom saturating every word, wallowing in his rage.

The skeleton rolled the cane in between his fingers and regarded Caesar.

"And you're sure that Brutus-san was fully in the wrong?" Caesar sat up in a flash to pin the Dead Man with an angry scowl.

"Yes! He was afraid of failure! He was afraid of punishment! Afraid of being dismissed from the Science Core! He should have believed in me! My project would have been praised by the World Government if it had reached completion. Had he not exposed it! I would have taken him with me on my way up. He was a weak coward that cost me my victory." Caesar's angry yells hung in the air.

There was a lull of silence as the skeleton pondered the horned man's fury.

"I've known you only a short time Caesar-san, but I see that you are quite the a rash and reckless fellow. Then again, you've had to fend for yourself. What if Brutus-san was not in the wrong? What if your project had failed? Had been rejected? What would have happened to you?" Caesar turned up his nose and sniffed in condescension.

"Impossible. Ludacris. My project would have succeeded." The Dead Man responded in a soothing tone, trying to lull the horned man into a better mood.

"Humor me Caesar-san. What would have happened had it failed or was rejected?" Caesar snarled. The skeleton had better have worthwhile info on the under realm.

"Fine! In the very unlikely event that my masterful project failed… The World Government would have sent special forces to apprehend Brutus and myself. Or exterminated us if we evaded capture." The skeleton's gaze bore into him.

"At that point, I assume you had your fruit power? Would Brutus survived such an event if it came to pass?" Caesar was quiet as he recalled Brutus.

The man had been slender, more so than himself. Not terribly tall either, he had only come up to Caesar's shoulder. He also wasn't very strong. Moving heavy equipment was always beyond him. Overall, in a fight, Brutus would have been instantly downed. He perhaps would have managed to get away if he was allowed to analyze the situation and opponent. He had always been an expert at seeing the big picture and data processing.

"... He would have been captured or killed but it wouldn't have come to that. I would have succeeded. So no matter." Caesar shrugged.

"But what if it had? Do you still think Brutus' actions unforgivable? Would sacrificing Brutus been worth your victory?" Something in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Caesar turned and studied the shadows along the galley wall. His eyes narrowed. Odd, he thought he saw a flicker of movement in the shadows. Damned skeleton, getting him all rattled and going into subjects better left buried and dead. He rounded on the Dead Man, anger in his eyes.

"Doesn't f-ing matter! I would have succeeded if I had been allowed to finish! Everything would have been fine, great even! Shut the hell up! Brutus betrayed me! He and Vegapunk ruined my chance!"

"No Caesar-san, it matters more than you understand. He was your ally you said. You never should have risked sacrificing him for your goal. An ally is worth more than a hundred victories."

"Wrong. People fail. People die. People leave. Just a constant stream of faces that come and go. One is no different from the other. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself and your achievements. That's it. Sacrifices are acceptable, especially when the world is more than happy enough to sacrifice you too."

The skeleton stilled and Caesar didn't like the understanding aura that filled those hollow sockets.

"You've lost all faith in humanity. Haven't you?" Caesar's lip curled.

"No shit sherlock. Open your eyes. There is nothing worth putting faith into. Humanity is a vile selfish beast that wears a lovely mask and drools lies." He hissed.

"You're wrong, Caesar-san. Humanity does have it's darkness and evil but there are virtues as well. Just because you haven't seen it, or have chosen not to see it, does not mean it does not exist. I have faith. I have faith in my captain, my crew and even you. I see that you need a guiding hand, support and a chance even if you think that you don't. I will see to it. I will find a song for you."

Caesar gave the skeleton a deadpan stare.

"And how the hell is a measly song supposed to do all that?" The skeleton leapt to his feet and stretched his hand out towards Caesar.

"That is a mystery I have learned over decades. It cannot be spoken of or taught. You are young Caesar-kun and have much to learn yet. Walk with me." Caesar glared at the hand. Choosing to knock it away and get up on his own instead.

As he was getting up, a skeletal darted forward, ruffling the tufts of hair between his horns.

In the picture of grace, Caesar indignantly squawked and fell back on his rear in a spastic attempt to get away from the intruding hand. He sent the skeleton a look mixed with suspicion and irritation. The skeleton laughed and extended his hand again.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho! Let's try this again Caesar-kun."

Caesar sat in a disarray on the deck, now glaring at the extended hand. He could try to knock it away again, but the skeleton would ruffle his hair again. In these cuffs, he was no match against the Dead Man's speed. Caesar chose to accept defeat. A gloved hand extended and grasped the skeletal palm.

Just as he had gotten back on his feet the Dead Man, with a speed the horned man could barely follow, stepped forward and ruffled his hair again. Caesar shuffled backwards from the other and angrily yelped.

"What the hell!? Stop it!" The skeleton laughed again.

"Chopper-san was right! Your hair is quite fluffy!" Caesar groaned aloud and the Dead Man sobered.

"Alright Caesar-kun. Thank you for coming out with me this night and for the talk, but I had best get you back to bed before Sanji-san scolds us both." The skeleton began to walk back towards the men's quarters.

"Wait! What about my questions? About the under realm? I answered all of yours!" the skeleton paused.

"Ah, that you did ask." The Dead Man resumed walking towards the men's quarters.

"So! Tell me!" Caesar stumbled forward, rushing to catch up to the skeleton.

He was surprised when the Dead Man suddenly turned as he got close. Caesar found himself getting his hair ruffled again. He blinked and the skeleton leapt away faster than he could react.

"Yo-ho-ho-ho Caesar-kun! If you have interest in that realm, you had first become a better word smith! I never promised to answer your questions! That is something you assumed!" The skeleton continued to laugh.

Something in Caesar snapped and his vision went red.

He was going to kill Brooke.

He lunged forward, trying to catch the skeleton with murder in his eyes. Brooke easily leapt away from his grasp, laughing all the way. Caesar pursued, in a shaking fury.

The crew later awoke to find Caesar mid way through his first game of 'Catch the Skeleton'.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _Sour Grapes_ \- Caesar actually hates each Straw Hat, more or less, in equal measure. However, respect is another issue. It's a tough toss up between Nami and Usopp as to who he disrespects more. Usopp seems to have given up status/power willingly - a cardinal sin in Caesar's book! As for Nami, she's not strong, clever, smart or resourceful. Just a mouthy piece of eye candy - All talk and none of the walk. Both individuals are seriously lacking in Caesar's ever so humble opinion.

 _General_ \- It was actually foggy/rainy/stormy for 90% of the time I was writing this chapter where I live. I took a gamble on this chapter, and tried my hand at some 'Romanticism' - I've always been fond of that style. Also, took a dive off the philosophical deep end... but hey! Looks like instruments are not the only things Brooke can play! Overall, I'm torn on how this chapter came out but I'll leave the final judgement up to you! As always, I treasure your reviews and use them as a gauge as to if I'm running in the right direction! Two Straw Hats left!

 _Disclaimer_ \- I don't own One Piece and the bit of poetry Brooke recites is from "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time".


	9. Chapter 9

Caesar glared down suspiciously.

He stood just within the shadowy bounds of his corner on deck. His head slightly tilted to the side, regarding what sat in his normal spot.

A cheerful white pillow, with oranges of various sizes printed on its case, sat happily amongst the shadows of his corner.

He looked over his shoulder, back at the obnoxiously bright domain of the Straw Hats.

The pirates he could see on deck didn't seem to be acting out of the ordinary. They carried on with their insane antics as usual. He gleaned no particular hints as to who had violated his corner with this cheery monstrosity.

He cautiously approached the pillow. Ready to leap away should it detonate.

He had seen stranger assassination attempts than explosive pillows in Reltia.

Caesar edged forward slowly, squatting down just close enough to be able to touch it. Closer inspection showed that there was no ticking nor chemical vapors issuing from the cushion. As far as he could tell, there were no unknown powders on it. The ground around the pillow had no wires or pressure plates that he could see. His chain rattled as he gingerly reached out with an extended finger and thumb to lift the happy cushion to look under it.

Caesar saw nothing but deck planks.

He waited a moment.

This was good, he still had his hand and nothing had exploded.

It was the little things in life to be grateful for. Like functioning limbs.

He gently put the suspicious cushion back on the deck. Now, Caesar poked the pillow in random locations, looking for hidden blades, needles or vapor capsules. He wasn't able to detect any.

The pale man balanced on the balls of his feet while stooping down, glaring down at the pillow.

He returned to his investigation. Now Caesar used his full palm to press portions of the pillow down. Still, nothing unexpected happened or was found.

Satisfied that the contents seemed safe. He lifted the cushion, inspecting it from all angles. Looking for any hint of danger.

Again nothing.

He laughed to himself.

Leave it to the Straw Hats to give him a bribe and bungle it.

Bribes only worked if the receiver knew who the giver was.

Idiots.

"What the hell are you doing?" Caesar was shocked out of laughing and nearly dropped the pillow.

He turned around as fast as he could, nearly falling over in the process.

Just outside the shadowy bounds of his corner, Muscle Head stood. He leaned slightly to the side and had a hand lazily resting on his white hilted katana. The green haired man was looking down at Caesar with a raised eyebrow.

Caesar had gotten that look enough times in his life to know that his sanity was being questioned.

His face contorted to a snarl and he dropped the pillow.

"Nothing. Just minding my own business. Don't worry, I'm being a good little prisoner. You can go back to lifting weights or whatever other mindless things you do. Don't mind me." Caesar flippantly waved his hand at the swordsman.

Muscle Head seemed to ignore the underhanded insults. He looked between Caesar and the pillow. At last he sighed and rubbed the nape of his neck.

"Whatever. What you do with pillows on your own time doesn't bother me." The green haired man paused and looked back, near the kitchen entrance, where the other Straw Hats were gathering.

Caesar could see the man's jaw muscles tighten as a mental war waged between the two brain cells he had.

Eventually, the green haired man turned back to him wearing a look mixed with annoyance, dread and resignation.

"Follow me." With that, the swordsman walked away.

Caesar got up, not bothering to contest the orders. Muscle Head could easily put him into a world of hurt, if he was so inclined. He gave one last look to the happy little pillow laying on the deck. After a moment of indecision, he picked up the pillow and carried it with him after the swordsman. This pillow, was now technically the one non-essential item he owned on this ship. Though it was a cheerful monstrosity, it was _his_ cheerful monstrosity.

His chains clanked together as he hurried to catch up.

"Where are we going?" The green haired man didn't slow down and simply pointed up towards the crow's nest.

"Why are you taking me up there?" Caesar demanded and Muscle Head huffed in annoyance.

"Because the others want you out of the way today. So my training time takes a hit 'cause I have to babysit you." Caesar frowned in response.

"What are they doing?" The other man shrugged.

"Luffy wants to play some sort of game… tag… and something about turtles… I think. Nami and Love-Cook made me take over watching you today. Something about avoiding 'collateral damage'." They had gotten to the base of the main mast, a very heavy door before them.

Muscle Head pried the door open and went in. Caesar had to scramble, trying to avoid getting smacked by the heavy door.

The mast was hollow on the inside and large enough to accommodate about three or four adults and had similar strip lighting running up the walls as in the brig. Caesar also noted that metal rails that ran up the sides of the mast and that half the floor was wood and the other was a large plate of metal.

Muscle Head strolled over onto the metal plate. He then found a metal flap on the wall and flipped it open to reveal a large green button.

Without even bothering to look at the horned man, he pointed at the metal plate and grunted.

"Stand here, and don't touch the walls." Caesar's face contorted into a grimace.

He really didn't like being ordered about but he didn't have a choice in the matter. Though his intellect seemed as sharp as a particularly large boulder, Muscle Head was still the first mate of the ship.

Caesar's feet dragged as he moved to stand beside the swordsman. The green haired man then used his fist to push the exposed button.

Caesar felt clank of a gear engaging vibrate through the floor.

They began to rise up the mast as the metal platform they stood on began to climb the rails on the wall.

Caesar stood next to the swordsman, holding onto his pillow. Though he didn't show it, he was excited.

He had never been to the Crow's Nest before.

As they got closer to the top, it got brighter. Looking up, he saw a the red painted ceiling of the Crow's Nest getting closer.

At last they stood in the center of the Crow's Nest. The metal platform filling the half circle hole in the floor.

Like most of the ship, this room was obnoxiously bright too. An arching ceiling painted a cherry red above him. Light yellow wood planks made up the floor. Pristine white walls sat beneath the windows that spanned the full stretch of the room. Giving anyone present the ability to gaze out over the ocean in any direction.

There were padded benches beneath the windows, similar to the ones in the aquarium room.

That's where the original function of the room ended.

Caesar inspected the contents of the room and sighed internally. This room was effectively a shrine to the god of gym rats.

Weights of all sizes sat stacked to one side. Several larger than himself. On the other side, there were machines that could accept the monster weights and stress other parts of the body. Sparring dummies stood grinning to another side of the room. Lastly, a padded mat covered a good portion of the floor with a tiny table to it's side. On the table, sat a bowl with a small mound of grey sand in it and a collection incense sticks beside it.

Without a word, Muscle Head walked away and towards the tiny table. Caesar watched him shed his outer robe and set it on the floor. He removed the swords next, reverently placing them before the bowl.

Next, he picked up three incense sticks, and lit them. The flame flickered at the tops for a moment before Muscle Head cut through the air with them. The flame died and the embers glowed a hungry red. The three sticks were stabbed into the sand, to stand tall, and smoke rose from the embers.

Muscle Head walked away from the table to stand in the center of the mat. Caesar watched with confusion as the green haired man then bowed towards the table.

Every single Straw Hat was loony apparently.

After the bow, the swordsman settled into a wide stance squat. Almost as if he was sitting in an invisible chair. He exhaled while pushing his arms out, fingers fanned so that the index fingers and thumbs touched to form a triangle. Then inhaled as he brought his arms back in, hands folding together as if in prayer.

He continued this and Caesar quickly grew bored of watching the man pose in a weird way and flail his arms.

Caesar slinked to a bench farthest away from Muscle Head. Placing his pillow between his back and the bench's armrest as he perched. He sat sideways so that he could look out the window while keeping an eye on Muscle Head.

It paid to be cautious.

It proved boring watching Muscle Head warm up. Switching from one strange slow moving pose to another. That was fine though.

It was delightfully quiet here.

They were high enough so that the tomfoolery of the Straw Hat's below was almost unnoticeable and Muscle Head kept to himself. Focused on doing the same mindless task over and over again.

The ocean stretched out beneath him, a solid sheet of crystalline blue with bands of glowing sunlight on its surface, for as far as Caesar could see.

The most beautiful things in life were often deadly.

Actually, that was wrong.

Almost everything was either capable of or out to kill you, regardless of beauty.

He knew just how many known and unknown dangers lurked beneath the ocean's surface. That one sudden wave to snatch him down into a watery grave. Massive beasts just waiting to strike. The dangers of the ocean went on and on but there were also mysteries. Shipwrecks with secrets at the bottom. Undiscovered fish and Sea Kings with abilities that went beyond known science. Natural wonders that exposed riches hidden deep within the earth.

There was simply so much out there to discover.

Caesar's gaze dropped to the manacles on his wrists.

Yet, here he was trapped. Wasting what little time he had. Doing nothing but suffering the presence of these flimsy smile pirates. Forced to listen to the lies and fairytales that they believed in with all their delusional hearts.

Suddenly, the utterly heartbroken look Franky had given him sprung to mind. Caesar viciously beat the memory away.

Just because a person believed in something didn't make it true.

A clank of metal caught his attention.

Muscle Head had switched from warmup exercises to practicing swinging a large pole with massive weights on it. With each stroke the weights rattled against each other.

Annoying.

He thought back to the pillow at his back. One or more of the Straw Hats had tried to bribe him. He didn't really care which. He refused to be manipulated into being a docile prisoner. However, this might mean that he could milk things out of them. Make them think he'd cooperate in exchange.

He'd like a notebook. At least then he could work on some theorems. Plan out some experiments. Draw some designs for possible genius devices. Should be a harmless enough request. What was he going to do? Threaten to give them papercuts? Write Dolfalmingo a message in a bottle?

He chuckled at the absurdity.

Which Straw Hat should he try get what he wanted out of?

Red Harpy, Straw Hat and Muscle Head were already off his list.

Long Nose was an option. He could see the marksman agreeing to a trade. Knowledge or help with his munitions in exchange for a notepad. A possibility, but Caesar was a scrooge. He rather not trade precious knowledge away if he didn't have to.

There was also Franky. The Cyborg might give him one for free but that meant possibly risking some super antics, or worse, being danced at. Caesar shivered at the memory of Franky's 'inspirational' dance. No, no. Not worth the notepad.

Then there was crazy Brooke. Caesar snarled at the thought of the Dead Man. Ever since that night, Brooke greeted him cheerfully each morning. Ruffled his hair when he least expected it. Visited him and played racket on his instruments near him. Worst of all was all the questions. About what he liked, what he didn't, his past, present and future. For a man that didn't have a nose, he was infuriatingly nosey. A notebook was not worth the price Brooke would ask.

Nico Robin could get a notepad easily but she was a dangerous mark. She was intelligent and cunning. It would be foolish to be indebted to or owe such a woman a favor.

Chopper was a bleeding heart, he could possibly get a notebook out of the little deer. Caesar frowned, doubts rising. Though the doctor was irrationally kind, he had made it clear that he didn't support the horned man's brand of science. It would be a tough sell to get Chopper to give him a notepad.

Last was Black Leg. Despite the easily provoked reprimands, sharp kicks and reserved attitude, the cook was surprisingly kind to Caesar. Ever since Caesar had been placed on a juicing diet, the blond man had been diligent in figuring out what vegetables and fruits were liked and disliked.

Caesar wasn't a picky eater when it came to foods he could digest, but, kale was just vile. Only to be consumed in the most dire of circumstances.

The cook had actually laughed at him when Caesar recoiled from the drink and indignantly demanded to know what the new revolting flavor was. Black Leg seemed both bemused and saddened by Caesar's general lack of experience with uncommon foods.

It turned out that the pale man had a sweet tooth. He deeply enjoyed sweet fruits, especially strawberries. Problem was that the cook often reserved the sweet fruits and berries for the women on the ship. Caesar didn't even bother considering contesting how most of the fruits went to the women. Black Leg's brain seemed to evaporate when females were involved, becoming deaf to words and reason.

Black Leg, did seem to like looking after people in more ways than just feeding them. He was often the first to break up an argument or fight, unless it was Muscle Head, then he picked one. Always stood ready to jump into the ocean to fish out his foolish captain. Humored the younger pirates' games and jokes with a dry wit.

Black Leg might give him a notepad at no cost.

He began to imagine scenarios in his head. Possible ways of confronting Black Leg and word choices. Analysing each and attempting to figure out the method with the most success. He liked using threats, but as a prisoner, they had little weight. Appealing to dark desires and bribes were ineffective on the cook. However, asking directly, left the pale man feeling exposed and feeling a distinct lack of control. There maybe was some-

"As obnoxious you act around the others, you're actually pretty quiet." Caesar was jarred out of his thoughts by Muscle Head's offhanded comment.

Cursing himself for being inattentive. His shoulders hunched forward and he looked at the swordsman from beneath his bangs.

Muscle Head was now standing off to the side, by the large machines. Drenched in sweat as he guzzled down water that had been hidden behind the exercise contraptions. After draining half a gallon, the green haired man looked over at him. His single eye, half hooded, yet piercing.

"Better to be quiet than stupid." Muscle Head smirked in response.

"Oh? Wanna run by that by me again?" Though the man's face remained stoic, the lone eye both dared and laughed at Caesar.

Caesar was the first to look away, down at the floor, in defeat.

Muscle Head chuckled darkly and resumed chugging his gallon of water.

The thud of the water jug echoed hollowly as the green haired man set it down and wiped his mouth with the back of his fist. He paused, and gave Caesar a look that seemed to indicate he was thinking.

"You're a logia fruit user right?" At long last, Muscle Head drawled.

Caesar gave the man a flat stare.

"No... No I'm not. I just wear seastone cuffs for _fun_." Sarcasm saturated Caesar's words and the swordsman frowned.

The brawny Straw Hat, walked over to his discarded robe and rummaged about it's folds.

He stood, and in his calloused hand, was something Caesar had dreamed of and plotted after for weeks on end.

The key to his seastone cuffs.

Caesar felt every fiber of his body tense.

He _wanted_ that key so badly.

"I asked to borrow this." The swordsman stated, in almost a bored fashion, and he lifted the key up higher for Caesar to see.

"We've had tough fights in the past with logia users. Annoying bastards." Caesar hung onto every word the man said, his eyes never leaving the key.

"The others said you put up a good fight, took out Smoker even. I want to fight you. Practice fighting logia powers." The lone eye cut into Caesar, but the pale man didn't react, still fixated on the key.

"I'm offering to let you out of the cuffs for a time, in exchange for a little sparing time. No poison, touch hits only. I don't need Chopper or Franky on my ass. Also, just try to pull a fast one on me, and I'll put you in Chopper's ward for the rest of your stay on the Sunny. Got it?" Caesar was already up, and walking towards Muscle Head.

The swordsman grinned darkly with excitement when Caesar offered up his shackles.

The cuffs came off and Caesar reeled at the sudden return of his abilities.

It was like having lived in a straight jacket and suddenly being released. Euphoric.

The air of the room responded to his will and rushed forward to meet him. Like an overjoyed dog, bounding forward. His body dissolved and turned to gas. The outside air colliding with his core, mixing. Balance and energy, restored at long last.

"Oi" The gaseous mass curled about to look at the swordsman like a snake.

Muscle Head already stood at the other side of the mat, two wooden blades in hand and another clenched in his teeth. Air was swirling in the room due to Caesar's joy, causing the green hair to ripple and the cloth leggings the swordsman wore to flutter.

The lone eye sharpened as the wood blades became black and Muscle Head sprung forward.

Caesar barely had enough time to react.

His gaseous form dove to the floor to avoid the blades that now cleaved through the space he had been in moments before.

Touch hits his ass, that strike would have hurt like hell.

The lone eye of the swordsman was glowing and already following up with another attack. Shit.

Caesar divided himself and tried to get behind Muscle Head.

The swordsman seemed to pause and Caesar hurried to blast pressurized air from behind, in an attempt to send the Straw Hat flying.

He got behind Muscle Head and began to gather the air he needed, then tried to surge forward.

Only to collide with the swordsman's waiting black blade.

Caesar's vision filled with stars.

Despite the pain clouding his vision, he knew more blows were coming.

He surged to the floor again and spread himself as thinly as possible along the surface. A gamble to gain some recovery time.

Muscle Head stood crouched, surrounded in gaseous Caesar covering the floor. His arms tensed, ready to swing his blades. Waiting for Caesar to make a move.

Caesar's vision came back to him and the pain receded.

He snarled to himself, angered over the pain.

No poison, fine. Caesar grinned, he could do that.

Caesar commanded the oxygen in the room to rise to the ceiling. It was always amusing how little of the air was oxygen. Harmless nitrogen stayed behind to be choked on.

To the swordsman's credit, his stance held. The lone eye narrowed and smirk grew into a grin when the stakes rose.

Muscle Head spun low, black blade sweeping the floor.

Caesar surged upwards, to dodge the sweeping blade.

The next blade came in, seeming to already know where Caesar would evade to.

He curled into a flowing stream to avoid the strike.

The last blade was dead center, having predicted Caesar's dodges perfectly.

The strike slammed into Caesar and pain radiated from the blow.

He couldn't out maneuver Muscle Head. He needed to keep him off balance. Wait for him to suffocate into unconsciousness.

Caesar scrambled towards the ceiling and the swordsman was quick to pursue.

This was a small enclosed room, he could manipulate the pressure easily here.

He altered the pressure and sent a blast of air towards Muscle Head in an attempt to knock the swordsman away.

The green haired man easily dodged the first blast but was hit by the second that followed.

Caesar maintained the air stream, trying to pin the swordsman.

Muscle Head had his swords up in a guard position. Slowly, he was being pushed back towards a wall by the localized gale.

Caesar grinned, this match would be his once the swordsman got pinned to the wall and made to suffocate.

Muscle Head unexpectedly dropped his guard and raised his blades. Both above his head as if to strike.

Caesar smirked at the desperate melee attack. There was no way it could hit the gas man when he was on the other side of the room.

"Santoryu… 108 Pound Phoenix!" The green haired man's voice grimly announced as the blades swung.

A blast issued from the swordsman, carving Caesar's stream of air in two and connecting with his gaseous form. Stunning the horned man for a second.

But a second was all Muscle Head needed.

He sprung forward, instantly closing the distance, his blades raining blows on Caesar.

Caesar desperately tried to glide up to and along the ceiling to get away.

In a single bound, Muscle Head leapt up. All three blades up and striking along the red roof of the room.

The blades connected and Caesar went crashing down to the floor painfully.

Before he could recover, Muscle Head stood in the center of his gaseous mass. His blades pressed against his cloud.

The dark gleam in swordsman's eye showed that he knew that Caesar was cornered.

Muscle Head had won.

Caesar released the oxygen and his gases slowly moved away from the swordsman.

He collected himself back into a semi-corporeal form, standing a healthy distance away from the now frowning Straw Hat.

"I know you're not at full strength but… that's it?" Muscle Head spoke in a disappointed voice and Caesar bristled.

"Well! Why don't I take your swords from you and put you in a straight jacket for a few weeks! Then let's fight again after that!" The green haired man shook his head.

"No, your devil fruit power is fine. It's you that's pathetic."

"How does that even make sense!? My fruit is part of me! It makes me strong! I'm not pathetic!" Caesar shouted.

"You have power, but you're not strong. Not even close."

Caesar blinked and suddenly Muscle Head was in front of him.

A black blade speeding towards Caesar's face.

The sword stopped just before it hit.

"Look at you, a damned mess." Caesar was reeling, struggling to compute both the aborted attack and insult.

"Your footwork is shit, too close together, no balance." The blunt blade tapped one of his feet.

"No posture, all curled up. One hit and you're losing ground." The training sword poked his stomach next.

"These arms, all over the goddamned place. Nowhere near where they need to be for a decent guard or attack." The blade smacked one of the wrists Caesar had hastily thrown up in defense.

"Worst of all, absolutely no sense of the battlefield and telegraphing your moves for everyone to see." Muscle Head huffed and walked away.

Caesar was shaking with fury.

Here he was, a prisoner. Chained, and his power sealed away. To get a moment of respite, he had to be this Straw Hat's sparring dummy. Then to be ridiculed.

His teeth began to grind and rage ran amok.

Reason slowly surfaced and began to argue with fury.

Before he had gotten his fruit, fighting had been something that he had avoided at all costs. Even among the other urchins, he had been the weakest. His thieving had been long hours of scoping out and following targets. Learning what he needed in order to make the perfect snatch or ambush.

The two times he had severely miscalculated, had been cornered and forced to fight. He had lost those fights and gotten his Xs.

His hands clenched.

He had fought tooth and nail to get to where he was.

He would continue to make each day better than the one before.

No matter the cost. No matter what he had to sacrifice or if he died trying.

One day, he was going to be at the top and laugh at the hell this world was.

Swallowing his pride this one time was a small price to pay.

He looked up at Muscle Head, expecting him to have moved on, back to training.

Instead, gold eyes met a half lidded eye.

At some point the swordsman had turned and watched him. His body was relaxed, but his gaze was hard, unyielding. He was waiting. For what?

No matter.

He had answers to get. He wondered what this venture would cost him.

"... What does a proper stance look like?" Muscle Head regarded him in silence.

Soon, Caesar looked away from the intense gaze, fidgeting. The air in the room cycled a little faster.

"It changes depending on the opponent, but for you, your feet should be pointing forward and even with your shoulders. One of your arms should holstered at your hip, ready to throw up a block or punch. And the other up in a ready block. Your legs should be bent and ready to move or rise up to guard your lower torso. 'Cause you're stupid tall, your torso is a easy target. Get used to guarding that." The green haired man shifted, now leaning on one leg and arms crossed over his bare chest.

Caesar looked down at his feet and repositioned them. Next, he thought about his arms. He placed one by his hip and another in front of his chest.

He was interrupted by a groan.

Caesar looked over at Muscle Head and the man had his face in one of his hands.

Caesar snarled, he was doing as he said!

At last the green haired man righted himself, he sighed.

"You haven't had any training. You have no idea of what you're doing." The swordsman marched forward.

He grabbed the fist by Caesar's hip and briskly twisted the fist to make the underside face the ceiling. He then lowered the elbow of the blocking arm, making the fist level with Caesar's eyes.

"Straighten out your back and bend your knees more." A wood blade tapped the lower part of his spine and the backs of his knees.

This pose felt unnatural to Caesar. His legs complaining and various muscles tense.

Muscle Head inspected Caesar's stance and then nodded slightly.

"Good enough for now, I guess. Try getting in and out of that for a while." Caesar's lips curled.

"What do you mean 'good enough for now'? What am I doing wrong? Tell me and I'll fix it!" The green haired man smirked slightly at him.

"You're doing alot wrong, but that can't be helped until you have more experience." He paused and pushed the fist by Caesar's waist down a little.

"You were a knife fighter at some point. Picked up some bad habits from that." Caesar blinked owlishly.

"How do you know that?" Caesar asked and Muscle Head huffed.

"You keep overextending your arms and leaning way too far forward. It's what untrained people do to try and make up for a knife's short reach. Fix your right foot." Caesar looked down and fixed the foot that had twisted out.

Muscle Head stood and watched Caesar get in and out of stance. Verbally correcting mistakes.

At long last, he nodded.

"Alright, you practice by yourself. I'll be back to test you." He began to walk away and suspicion uncoiled itself and rose within Caesar.

"What are you going to want in return after this?" The swordsman paused.

"From you? Nothing." He resumed walking.

"Why are you helping me then?" The green haired man stopped walking away and turned slightly back.

The two men watched each other. One with narrowed eyes and the other with an eye as hard as stone.

At last, Muscle Head reacted.

His lone eye closed and he smirked.

"I'm told you're supposed to be smart. Is that true?" Caesar bristled and snapped back.

"Yes! I'm a genius! I am going to be the greatest Scientist!" The swordsman grinned.

"Then figure it out yourself." he resumed walking away.

Caesar glared at Muscle Head's retreating back.

How was he supposed to figure out the Straw Hat's motives? Caesar had nothing of value that the swordsman could want. Nothing that warranted a future favor. No mastery of science, black market connections or stupidly cheery pillows would be of interest.

He had made it obvious that training time was valuable to him. Why waste it on a prisoner? A mere pawn? Why!?

It wasn't adding up.

He looked up and saw that Muscle Head had resumed training. He had switched the wood blades in favor of massive bulky metal rods. He swung them about like swords. Moving through stances and attacks with grace and explosive strength.

"Are you going to keep standing there and looking pretty? Or work on your stance?" The green haired man smirked at him around a his training rod.

Caesar shot the other man a dirty look and sunk into his basic stance. Held it for a moment and then got out of it. Then went back into it.

The two continued to train for a time. The swordsman occasionally issued corrections and Caesar accepting them with a grimace or snarl.

The sun glided through the sky as the two worked. Gleaming with a passion down on the slumbering beauty, the sea.

An explosion made Muscle Head pause and look in the general direction of the crew.

"Looks like Franky is starting to get serious in Luffy's game. Alright, time to see what you've got." He grunted and discarded the huge metal rods only to replace them with wooden blades.

He strode over to Caesar and stopped just outside of blade reach.

A courtesy Caesar appreciated.

"So, how hard is it for you to make the air not breathable?" Caesar tilted his head in suspicion.

"Not hard at all. Why?" The gas man asked slowly.

"Even if it's not serious training, I could use more stress training. Make it so I can fight longer without needing to breathe. I'll attack your stance so that you work on your blocks and dodges while making it so I can't breathe. Let's g-" He was cut off by Caesar.

"Wait! You're going to put haki into those blades?" The swordsman smirked.

"Yup. You better develop your own haki or get good a dodging pretty quick or you're going to hurt like hell tomorrow." With that he lunged at Carsar.

The gas man squeaked as he tried to dodge the incoming blades. Only to be rewarded with getting hit several times.

"Get into stance Caesar. Focus." Muscle Head paused his assault to let Caesar collect himself.

"Better. Now the air. Make it not breathable." Caesar rolled his eyes but did as commanded. Oxygen sank and pooled along the floor.

Suffocating himself in the name of training.

Looks like being insane was a core requirement for joining the Straw Hat crew.

What happened next Caesar would easily call torture.

Muscle Head rained blows on the pale man. Caesar managed to evade some, block a scant few but for the most part was utterly failing.

He was now aware how much blocking incorrectly hurt. The force of the blow jarring bones, making limbs spasm.

Caesar praised his devil fruit power. While the swordsman's haki made being intangible to the blows impossible. He could use his power to make the flesh under the strike semi gaseous. Moderately reducing the pain.

Being Muscle Head's punching bag was still a miserable and painful affair even with his power.

Soon, Caesar gave up waiting for Muscle Head to stop or suffocate. Minutes had gone by and the Straw Hat was still going strong.

With each incorrect block and blow, Caesar's anger grew. How was beating him into a pulp helping?

After what seemed like the hundredth strike, Caesar released the oxygen and misted backwards. Putting space between himself and the swordsman. His anger well past the boiling point.

"What the hell?! How is this helping me? You're just beating me up!" The green haired man calmly regarded Caesar.

The pale man ground his teeth when the swordsman chose not to respond. Instead, he walked to the edge of the Crow's Nest, looking out and down at the deck below. Where chaos was in full swing.

"Some of the others want to help you. They think you need help. That we should give you a 'second chance'. I don't agree." He turned and pinned Caesar with an eye of stone.

Caesar's eyes narrowed. He met the swordsman's gaze and hunched forward defensively.

It was fine that the swordsman didn't want to help him. He had gotten this far on his own. He didn't need any help, didn't need anyone. He was a stronger person for it.

"Why, pray tell, do you think I am not _worthy_ of your 'help'?" Caesar sneered.

"Because you're blind." Caesar blinked in confusion.

"That's rich coming from the guy with one eye." Caesar smirked and the swordsman shrugged.

"You're blind in the way that you choose to see what you want to see. Deaf to what does not match what you think. Fine, you've had a shity history, but second chances arn't given out for free. They're earned." Muscle Head stood strong, his words, just as cutting as his blades were.

"Then why help me with my stance?!" Caesar shouted.

"You asked." The green haired man stated, as if that was all that needed to be said.

Caesar fumed. This idiot Straw Hat made no sense.

"You just said that you didn't agree with the others, why suddenly help me just because I asked?!" His arms flailed about with the question and gaseous lab coat writhed about him in frustration.

"Because asking for help is one of the hardest things to do in life. I refuse to help those that don't try to help themselves. You are one twisted bastard but you're driven." Caesar snarled at being called twisted.

Well, excuse him for not being bat-shit crazy like the rest of the Straw Hats.

The swordsman regarded the pale man. His fists clenched, jaw locked, head tilted downwards and glaring at the ground.

He heard Muscle Head sigh.

"You trying to be the greatest scientist right? Get smarter and stronger. I respect that. I'm willing to show you how." The swordsman stopped talking and let the words hang in the air.

Caesar mulled over the words, his anger receding slightly. His suspicion still on guard, trying to find the holes or lies in the other man's words.

He looked up to try and read Muscle Head's face.

A lone eye captured gold eyes.

"I can show you the path, but you must be the one to walk it. The others are telling you answers, but it's up to you to listen to them... Do it or don't. It's your life." The swordsman stood solid, like a sentinel.

Caesar was the first to fold, his eyes darting away. Looking anywhere but at the green haired man.

Muscle Head was stronger than him. A monster on the battlefield. He was offering up knowledge and skills to Caesar for seemingly no price. There had to be a trick hidden in the offer or a hidden motive. However, no matter how hard he looked over the words, Caesar found nothing. His mind reeled in confusion.

"Why are you willing to help me if I ask?" Caesar asked in a defensive tone.

The swordsman took a deep breath, and waited in silence for a moment before responding.

"... You've been told the answer already, not just by me. Think of this like training. You don't have what you need to understand now. Train. Focus on keeping your eyes open. Listen to what the others say and remember it. Think, on it. Expand the boundaries of your mind. One day, you'll understand if you work towards it."

The memory of Chopper beside him, wilting under the weight of memories surfaced.

Caesar violently shook his head and snarled at the swordsman.

"No! Nothing is free in life. What are you after? What do you want in return?!" Frustration with an undercurrent of desperation colored his words.

He was met by silence as the swordsman stood stock still, his face a stone mask.

Caesar was oblivious to it but air cycled in the room with a dizzying speed.

"Fine. Pay me back." The green haired man stated and Caesar rolled his eyes.

"That's what I said! What do you want in return?!" The green haired man smirked and shrugged.

"I'll leave that up to you." Caesar gave the man a disbelieving look.

"Uh, that's not how trades work. You're supposed to name a price or service." The swordsman smirked and began to walk towards his weights.

"You don't say. Hmm, good to know."

He picked out one of the smaller weights, roughly the size of a barrel, and began to do reps on his left arm. Bringing the weight up quickly and then slowly letting it down.

Caesar issued a quiet growl.

Muscle Head wasn't taking him seriously.

A mistake many dead men had made.

He sensed air in his control vanish and a drop in air pressure.

Caesar spun around, looking behind him.

He saw nothing but a brightly lit Crow's Nest.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw that the green haired man had paused mid way through lifting and stared past Caesar. His eye alert, searching.

Muscle Head, with weight in hand, walked forward to investigate. The bright red benches and shadowy nooks were inspected.

"Huh, that was weird. What did you do?" Caesar sputtered a response.

"I didn't do anything!" Muscle Head continued to inspect the area and Caesar scuttled forward to look about as well.

"You sure? You've been letting your powers go nuts." Caesar now noticed that the air spun in the room with enough speed to feel like a strong gale. Parts of his semi-gaseous form had spilled on to the floor, slowly spreading across and all about the room.

"Even so! I can't just make air vanish from existence!" Caesar felt heat rush to his face as he forced the air to stop cycling.

"Luffy's brother could make fire appear and disappear. Can't you do that with air?" Muscle Head questioned him.

"I told you! I can't! I _manipulate_ or _transmute_ the air. Your flame user was most likely causing the oxygen around himself to burn. No fruit can destroy or create matter. That's a law of physics you know. At best, matter and energy gets shifted around. If there was a fruit that did destroy or create matter, then the user would be a god." The swordsman smirked in response.

"God huh? That sounds like that would be a fun fight." Caesar snorted.

"If you consider having your swords vanish, or better yet, your _body_ vanishing fun, then by all means, fight. I'll even cheer you on." The swordsman surveyed the section of room one last time and then shrugged.

"Don't do that again, I don't like it when my ears pop." Caesar threw up his hands in exasperation.

"I didn't do that! I didn't!" The green haired man was back at his weights. Once more, lifting with an intensity and ignoring the pale man's denials.

Caesar huffed in frustration and examined the room. He didn't make air vanish from existence. Couldn't do that even.

He found the cheerful red benches, sitting innocently. Nothing beneath them. No panels, compartments or doors found. Nothing.

He looked outside and saw various Straw Hats dashing about the deck.

He saw a grouping of Straw Hats that seemed to be talking rather than playing.

Red Harpy, Franky, Brooke, Black Leg and Nico Robin stood in a small circle on deck.

He was too far away to make out their faces clearly. Lip reading was unfortunately not a possibility.

He wondered what they spoke about.

Probably gossiping like a group of old women.

They needed some hobbies. Seriously.

He spotted Chopper running with a turtle held above his head. He then threw the reptile at Long Nose, who artfully dodged.

The marksman carried his own turtle and loaded it into his massive slingshot. Aiming at the Captian that bounced amongst the rigging.

He watched the three younger Straw Hats try to hit each other with turtles for a few moments. He then rolled his eyes at them and went back to searching.

His eyes locked onto the cheerful pillow.

He gingerly picked it up.

It looked the same as it had on deck.

Caesar summoned air into a small but steady stream and fed it into the pillow. Carefully studying if the air stream collided with something unexpected or if it's composition changed.

Nothing.

"You like that pillow? Nami will be happy." The swordsman grunted while lifting.

Caesar paused. Red Harpy had placed this bribe? Interesting. He was stronger, smarter and better connected than her. She had much to gain if they became partners.

Too bad that he hated her.

Still, it would advantageous to know what she was after.

"This is from Nami? Did she say why she gave me this?" The green haired man shrugged in response.

"Dunno, I don't really listen to what she says during shopping trips. I just carry the stuff. If you wanna know, go ask her yourself." Caesar rolled his eyes at the swordsman.

He watched Muscle Head pick a new weight. This one the size of a horse.

"Why aren't you the captain of this crew? You're stronger and smarter than Straw Hat." The question made Muscle Head pause for a moment.

"He asked me to join his crew, not the other way around." Reps with the weight resumed.

"So what? Why haven't you become captain yet? Or is it Nico Robin that will become captain?" This made the weight stop mid way, and Muscle Head gave Caesar his full attention.

"He's my captain. He's going to be King of the Pirates. I'll cut down anyone that stands in his way. I gave him my word and he gave me his." The swordsman's eye sharpened to a dangerous degree.

Caesar's body shifted further away from it's solid state under the glare.

"How are you so sure? Some fortune teller tell you so?" Caesar's voice was weak in the face of the swordsman's ire.

The question hung in the air.

Caesar relaxed when Muscle Head resumed his reps.

"Fortune telling is all a load of bull crap. Luffy is going to be King of the Pirates on his own strength and with his crew beside him." The green haired man stated resolutely.

"That doesn't explain why you're so sure." Caesar said with exasperation.

"I'm sure because Luffy is Luffy." Caesar gave the other man an exasperated and confused stare.

That didn't make a lick of sense.

"What kind of answer is that?! That doesn't explain anything!" The swordsman sighed.

"It explains everything. He's Luffy, my captain, and he's going to be King of the Pirates." Caesar sneered.

"You know, if he wasn't immune to poison, I could have and would have killed him on Punk Hazard." The swordsman didn't even pause for a second.

"No, you wouldn't have been able to. Luffy is strong and you're not." Caesar snarled openly back.

"Look at me! Look at what can do! Look at what I've created! Look at what I've done! And you call me weak?!" Caesar flailed his arms and the air churned violently to match his temper.

"I told you, power and strength arn't the same thing."

"Yes they are!"

"No, they're not."

"Yes! They are!"

The swordsman stopped his rep and leveled a stern look at Caesar.

"They're not." Caesar growled in response.

"Then what's the difference!?" The swordsman resumed lifting weights.

"Power, is the ability to do things. Make things happen." Even deep breaths punctuated Muscle Head's words.

"Strength, is to stand strong when pushed. To look someone more powerful than you in the eye and tell them to f- off." Sweat made the swordsman's skin shine as he paused before continuing.

"From what I've seen from you. You don't have any. You're always the first to give. The first to run." The swordsman spat out the last part like a curse.

That made Caesar's hackles rise and responded in a low and cold tone.

"Forgive me, for wanting to keep living. Next time, I'll make sure to die instead." The swordsman sighed.

"That's not what I meant." Caesar glared at Muscle Head while he continued.

"While I would never run from a fight and, I'm not telling you to never run, but, how you always run, always give in, is a sign of a bigger problem." The swordsman stopped and paused, a steady eye, making sure he had Caesar's full attention.

"You are controlled by fear." Caesar gave a blank stare in response.

Then the horned man then dissolved figuratively and literally in laughter.

How utterly preposterous. Laughter consumed him. In the brief moments he was semi-solid, his arms clasped his torso, trying to hold together a chest that felt it would burst with mirth. His gaseous form spun in place, out of control. Vision fled and his laughter echoed in the room.

After what seemed ages, Caesar found himself kneeling on the floor. Gas pooling about him. Still trembling slightly from his fit. His chest, aching from both laughing and the sword blows from earlier.

He looked up with a grin and saw that Muscle Head had returned to his weights, completely ignoring the antics of the gas man.

Him. Controlled by fear? Ha. No. He was master of his own fate now - Or would be, if it wasn't for the _temporary_ inconvenience of these crazy Straw Hats.

Dolfalmingo would make short work of them.

Caesar slowly gathered himself back together. The swordsman spoke.

"You done? Good. Time's up. Put your cuffs back on." The swordsman's voice was unyielding. Any and all amusement in Caesar shriveled and died.

The horned man looked at the cuffs sitting at the edge of the room. He wasn't able to suppress the whimper in his voice.

"Now? Is there anything I can do for more time? Anything?" Caesar unconsciously rubbed the rings of bruises on his wrists.

Muscle Head was silent for a moment, weights going up and down smoothly.

Eventually, the lone eye opened to regard the hunched form of Caesar, who gazed at the cuffs with a mix of hate and dread.

The green haired man sighed.

He put his weight down and walked to the edge of the room, looking up at the sky to find the sun.

"I was going to meditate 'till dinner, but that's about two hours from now. I can't clear my mind and watch you at the same time." He looked away from the window and back at the horned man.

Caesar bit his lip to hold back a biting comment. How does one clear something that's already empty?

Anything for more time outside the cuffs.

"I can keep you out of the cuffs longer but you have to earn it. You'll have to go another round of sparring with me." Caesar nodded frantically and quickly assumed a stance.

The swordsman smirked as he too sunk into a ready pose.

The two men clashed again.

Same as before, the blades seemed to know where Caesar was going or what he was trying to do.

He tried to pull every dirty trick he knew on the swordsman. Sudden air pressure changes. Gusts of air into his eye. Gaseous silhouettes. Everything.

All he got for his efforts was smirk or chuckle accompanied by a stinging blow from the swordsman.

The swordsman was right.

He was going to hurt like hell tomorrow.

But it was worth it.

Soon Caesar was soaked in sweat and panting from exertion. To his irritation, Muscle Head looked only slightly winded.

Caution cried in a dark corner of Caesar's mind as he coiled himself up for a charge at the swordsman.

Rather than being blocked and smacked to the ground, the green haired man stepped aside and let the horned man carreen past.

Caesar barely managed to stop before slamming into a wall.

He about faced as quickly as he could. With a hasty guard up and snarl in place.

There was no swordsman bearing down on him, instead, the Straw Hat was walking away calmly.

"Alright, that's enough for today. Cool off. Water is over there." The green haired man gestured vaguely towards the weights as he walked towards the small alter.

Caesar mentally threw curses at the Straw Hat's back while he dragged himself over to the water.

His body was a tired and aching mess, even his gaseous wisps failed to curl and just hung in the air limply.

Caesar watched Muscle Head as he took a moment of silence before the little table, the three incense sticks long burnt out, and made a deep bow.

After the bow, he collected his robes and swords.

Caesar eyed the katanas on the man's hip. Unlike the wooden training blades, those would cut him into grisly ribbons.

Caesar resolved then and there to be a, more or less, well behaved prisoner while in the sight of Zorro.

Caesar didn't much like the state he was currently in. Drenched in sweat. His hair even spikier and chaotic than normal. He could now feel his body aching from all the punishment the swordsman had doled out that day.

The pale man was sitting on the floor, well on his way to draining one of the water jugs, when the green haired came to his side. Seastone manacles in his hand.

Caesar felt himself wilt at the sight of the horrid cuffs. Dread pooling at the bottom of his stomach. He leaned away till his back hit the wall.

The swordsman held out the manacles expectantly and Caesar just stared at the vile contraption with hate and utter loathing.

Silence hung between the men, neither moving.

At last, Zorro shook the chains, making them rattle. A noise Caesar knew all too well by now. Caesar's glare deepened.

"Time's up for real, ero-cook will be coming out with dinner soon. We skipped lunch and if we skip again, he'll be on our case with Chopper backing him up. I dunno about you, but I don't like it when those two team up on me. Come on, let's go." He held out the chains further and the cuffs bumped into Caesar.

He hissed in response, feeling that biting touch for a moment.

Yes, he had to wear the cuffs again after some time.

But he hadn't promised to make the swordsman's life an easy one.

Also, there was no way, save threatened violence, that Caesar was going to put those terrible cuffs on himself.

No. Not happening. Nope.

He now let his burning gaze flicker between the manacles and the swordsman.

The swordsman sighed, noting the defiance and hate that gleamed in Caesar's eyes.

Zorro leaned down, his hand reaching out to grab Caesar's wrist.

A line appeared between the swordsman's brows when his hand passed through Caesar's arm. Gases swirling where an arm had been. The horned man smirked devilishly.

Zorro's eye hardened as the skin on his hands blackened with haki. This time he grabbed the pale wrists and unceremoniously slapped the seastone cuffs in place.

Caesar's world shrunk.

He could no longer feel the atmosphere, the air as it traveled and ricocheted off the environment. The outer portions of his body solidified into clumsy flesh. He could feel his strength pouring out and into to seastone on his wrists.

Caesar snatched his arms away from Zorro once the latter finished locking the manacles. He curled away and snarled at the swordsman.

Zorro met the malice radiating off Caesar with an even stare.

Neither man yielded and Caesar mentally raged at the Straw Hat.

Zorro sighed.

"Stop it, it's not like you can't have time out of the cuffs later." Caesar snapped back.

"When? And what do I have to do for that?" Caesar watched Zorro through narrowed eyes.

The muscle bound pirate shrugged.

"Dunno, up to you. When do you think you'll be ready to come back up here and go another round with me?" Caesar frowned, he already was hurting from today's beat down. Tomorrow was going to be a special kind of hell for him.

He groaned internally. The pain and dealing with Zorro was worth the temporary respite from the seastone several times over. He'd be back in the Crow's Nest, as soon as being able to move wasn't an issue.

It seemed that the swordsman had no trouble reading his face and smirked down at him.

Suddenly a fist was speeding towards his face.

Caesar squeaked in alarm and recoiled from the incoming blow.

It never came.

He cracked his eyes open and saw that the fist had stopped a few inches away from his nose.

"If I squint, that almost looks like a block, better. Next time, if you close your eyes, I'll give you two hits for the price of one." With that the swordsman turned away and began to walk towards the elevator plate in the center of the room.

Caesar blinked and then scrambled to get up. He didn't want to be left in the Crow's Nest.

He hustled over to the edge of the room and collected his cheerful monstrosity of a pillow. Stumbling when exhausted muscles spasmed.

By the time he turned around, happy cushion in hand, the swordsman had already disengaged the platform and it was starting to descend.

Caesar rushed over to hole in the center of the room and looked down. He found Zorro smirking up at him.

"Better hurry up and jump, or I'll tell Sanji that you want kale in your drink tonight." Caesar snarled.

The descent was slow, platform roughly ten feet below him, getting farther away with each moment that passed. He didn't have his powers, a drop like that could hurt him. Or better yet, a little push from Zorro and Caesar would be dead with the convenient cover story of an accident.

Kale was seriously nasty though.

"Too scared to make the jump?" Zorro's calm voice floated up.

Caesar saw the challenge gleaming in the lone eye.

Hell would freeze over before he just let anyone win without a fight.

"If you tell Black Leg that, and I'll say you want herbal tea for dinner!"

Caesar made the leap.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _3AM_ \- One Piece is a long journey, though I have some qualms with a few decisions, I can easily say that I have enjoyed watching this band of misfits set out and I have become a better person for it. It is a great amount of fun till the time skip. Ah, will there be romance? Depends on where my muse decides to go and what reviewers say. At this point in time, Caesar is quite jaded and not capable of things like trust, hope and other more noble aspects. Without these things, love would be quite difficult. However, I'm nowhere near done, maybe the Straw Hats will manage to beat these things into Caesar.

 _Holy Guacamole Batman!_ \- Wow, I thought I had gone way off the deep end with last chapter but you folks really liked it! Zorro here didn't get much Romanticism, I don't think the word 'romantic' is even in his vocabulary. He's rather gruff and stand-offish so it doesn't suit him, but once he decides to move, he gets things done.

 _One Piece Treasure Cruise_ \- Dudes! This mobile game is like Pokemon for this fandom! The perfect game to play when you have five min before a meeting or you're standing in a line. If you haven't downloaded this game yet, I urge you to try it out!

 _General_ \- You guys have been amazing. Your feedback and support has helped me weave this tale more than I can ever say. I read and treasure every review. I keep them in mind when I plan future chapters. Next up, Luffy, Future King of the Pirates!


	10. Chapter 10

Caesar cursed Zorro and Franky.

The swordsman for putting him into this state and the shipwright for making him greet the day.

Caesar had tried to stay curled on his sleeping pad this morning. To keep walking in the mists of his dreams, an illusion of where he longed to be. Once more, the master of a sprawling dark lab and exploring the frontiers of knowledge. The pain of his body and the Straw Hat crew, a faint but unpleasant specter in the shadows.

Franky wouldn't allow it.

The metal mountain had easily picked Caesar up and out of his sleeping spot and dumped him on the horribly sunny deck.

There, Franky had lectured him about how it was important to rise and greet the super sun and prepare to make the most of a super day to glowering Caesar.

Caesar was then caught up in the chaos that was the Straw Hats. Rigging and course adjustments. Deck swabbing. Rope inventory. Fishing lines set. Laundry. Finally, breakfast was served.

In an almost zombie like state from the farthest perch he could find, Caesar watched the show that was breakfast unfold.

The women laughed amongst themselves, enjoying a relaxed meal under Black Leg's watch. Loud whines issued from the captain's stuffed cheeks when the cook stomped on wandering rubber hands. Chopper's requests for cotton candy pancakes fell on deaf ears. Zorro wolfed down the large pile of food on his plate, arm curled about the dish defensively and butter knife held in a threatening manner towards the Captain.

To Caesar's disappointment, the rubber boy didn't try to take the swordsman's food.

The marksman attempted to regale Franky and Brooke of past adventures. Foolishly neglecting his plate in favor of taking a dramatic pose. Standing with one foot up on a chair and an arm raised in a heroic fashion. Both Cyborg and Brooke listened to the story. Brooke was enthralled and the shipwright seemed interested, but dubious. After each tale, there would be a round of applause and the Red Harpy would speak up. She would say in which volume of the log books that tale was recorded, just in case they wanted a more _detailed_ version of Long Nose's retelling. The marksman would pout at the beautiful redhead in response. A coy smile would grace her face as she pointed at his now empty plate. The sniper's food forever lost to the abyss that was his Captain's stomach.

Black Leg would reload the plate, along with false threats of this being the last portion. Then the cycle would repeat.

Caesar could feel his IQ dropping and he bemoaned the loss.

His eyes flitted from one happy face to the next. How could they delude themselves to this degree? Why did they think what they had was real and not a temporary illusion? There was no evidence. No aligned goals to ensure a lasting partnership. It didn't add up.

However, the happiness that frolicked about the room couldn't be denied.

Pure insanity...

He suffered though breakfast at his end of the bar. Refraining from moving so his aching muscles didn't scream. Glaring hellfire at any Straw Hat that ventured too close.

Finally, the lot of them left. Black Leg, remaining and clearing out the mess.

Caesar gratefully collapsed on the counter, treasuring the rare moment of peace. Knowing that it was only a matter of time before one of the Straw Hat's remembered he existed and came to collect him.

His body throbbed and the shackles bit into his wrists but the bar counter was nice and cool. He could hear the clanks of tableware and splashes of water as Black Leg moved about and worked in his domain. Expelling chaos and restoring the pristine elegance that was his kitchen.

It wasn't as good as sleeping, but it was still nice. Time to himself in relative quiet. A luxury.

He wasn't sure how long he got to enjoy the peace, but it came to an end when he heard Black Leg tisk disapprovingly in front of him.

Maybe Black Leg would go away if he pretended to be asleep.

Caesar stayed hunched over the bar and prayed for the cook to go away.

Silence stretched out and Caesar smelled cigarette smoke getting thicker in the air about him. Caesar mentally cursed.

He peaked over his folded arms and saw Black Leg leaning on the other side of the counter from the pale man. His gaze half lidded and cool. A cigarette hung loosely from his lips, ember at the end dimly glowing.

Between the two men sat a tall cup.

The cook made a slow but elegant gesture towards the cup.

"You didn't finish this. It's still half full." The blond man let his words hang in the air.

Caesar furrowed his brow and glared at his cup. This morning's beverage was some sort of lemon, celery, apple and other various greens concoction. The cook had announced the name of the drink but Caesar hadn't bothered to remember it.

He hadn't felt like drinking his meal today.

Caesar ignored the unasked question and gave Black Leg a glare.

The cook met the pale man with an half lidded gaze and responded by pushing the cup towards the horned man.

Caesar gave the cup a sullen look and glanced up towards Black Leg.

The cook responded by leaning back and taking a long drag of his cigarette. His posture settled with a box of cigarettes in hand, ready to replace the current cigarette. Black Leg stayed put, slowly smoking and watching the horned man.

Caesar weighed his options.

He could put up a fight. He'd enjoy giving the cook some well deserved grief but there would be a price. The cook would give as good as he got and could call in reinforcements like Franky or, he shivered, Brooke.

The horned man sighed in defeat and reached for the cup.

Black Leg smirked and Caesar mentally railed at the cook.

Caesar slowly drank his breakfast and Black Leg busied himself with wiping down the already spotless counter.

Silence sat moodily between the two men.

Caesar was once more enjoying the silence, glad the Straw Hat was quiet.

"So why do you look like death warmed over today?" The cook asked.

Caesar snarled at the cook but said nothing, choosing instead to drink the last of his beverage and slam the cup down in front of Black Leg.

The cook seemed to study the angry mess before him and then chuckled.

"Moss head work you over that much? Huh, I owe Nami fifty belli." Caesar bristled.

"You two… made a bet?" He slowly ground out and Black Leg shrugged in response.

"We did. I figured Zorro would ignore you and she bet that you'd get beat to a pulp." Caesar grit his teeth and glared at the cook. The blond huffed with amusement.

"Don't be so angry, it means you did something right for once." Caesar sputtered with outrage.

"What do you mean 'for once'!? I'm the genius here!" Black Leg gave him a flat stare and was about to respond when the galley door slammed open.

The captain came bounding in like a child on far too much sugar.

The rubber lad slid to a halt, large eyes sweeping the kitchen. The search stopped when he saw Caesar and the pale man felt dread pool at the bottom of his stomach.

The doors swung open again and the captain's two primary lackeys came in.

Chopper and Long Nose ran in after their leader.

"CAESAR!" The rubber boy shouted as he bounded over to the horned man's side.

Caesar was praying, to any and all gods, to make the rubber horror leave.

The reason why his lab was in ruins, why his plans had been dashed, why he now was in chains... stood at his side, bouncing in place, with a skull splitting grin.

Black Leg abandoned cleaning the counter and leaned back onto his heels to observe.

Caesar tried ignore the rubber boy, choosing to stare straight ahead instead.

Maybe for the first time in his life, a prayer would be answered.

"CAESAR!" Straw Hat shouted in his ear again.

The horned man flinched away while massaging his ringing eardrum.

By this time Chopper and Long Nose had caught up and flanked their Captain on either side. The marksman looked unsure and nervous. Chopper stood by with a smile, seemingly hopeful.

This reminded him of his old days, when he occasionally got caught in alleys, a squad of thugs leering down at him and a beating in his near future.

This wasn't going to end well he predicted and the pale man marshaled his will.

"What do you want Straw Hat?" Caesar spat with venom.

Everyone but the rubber boy frowned at the malice but the Captain continued to grin.

"You can fly right?" the boy asked enthusiastically and Caesar's eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"... I can." He didn't think it was possible, but the rubber boy's face lit up even more.

"Caesar! Take me flying!" The boy grabbed his wrist and proceeded to try and drag the pale man towards the deck.

Caesar's face contorted with fury.

He locked his legs and fought against the rubber grip but, while in the seastone cuffs, he was no match against Straw Hat. His shoes squealed as they dragged over the wood planks, leaving scuff marks for the cook to buff out later.

"Oi! Oi! Luffy! Stop! You can't just drag him about like that!" Long Nose sputtered at his Captain.

The rubber lad stopped and looked back, grin frozen in place. His eyes flicking between the marksman and Caesar.

"Eh? He's taking me flying!" He beamed towards the marksman and the latter hid his face in a palm.

"Luffy… look at him. He doesn't want to go." This made the rubber boy's smile waver.

Meanwhile, Caesar was trying his best to pry the rubber hand off him. His hands clawing at the grip on his wrist. He didn't have enough strength. He now was using his teeth to chomp down on an offending finger and pull.

Just as the finger stretched out, the rubber boy pushed his face into Caesar's. This made the horned man flinch away and accidentally release the rubber digit.

The finger snapped back to his wrist and Caesar yelped in pain.

No one seemed to take notice of Caesar's plight.

"You don't want to go flying?" The Captain asked in a slow and confused tone.

"With you?! Hell no! Over my dead body! No!" Caesar snapped as he now tried to use the edge of the bar to scrape the rubber hand off.

"But flying looks like so much fun! I can bounce up high and that's fun! Flying must be even more fun! Let's go!" Caesar was about to snarl back when Black Leg spoke up.

"Why not Caesar? It'd keep Luffy occupied for a bit and out of my hair. I'll make it worth your while. I'll set aside five strawberries for you tonight if you do." That made Caesar pause.

Those berries were his favorite. Also, this was an opportunity.

"Make it ten note books, writing implements and thirty strawberries and I'll do it." Black Leg didn't even pause to consider a rebuttal.

"Done." With that the blond smirked and exhaled a stream of smoke.

Caesar blinked at the cook as his hands continued to absentmindedly to try and pry the rubber hand off his arm. He had expected some hard negotiation.

"I have the berries on hand. The notebooks, I'll have to check with Nami to see what's in inventory. If we don't have ten spares, you'll get them next time we resupply. Have fun with Luffy." Black Leg smoothly explained while wearing a smile and Caesar snarled back.

Damn it. He could have demanded much more.

The captain whooped with joy and resumed dragging Caesar onto the deck.

He tried to put up a fight, but Staw Hat dragged him about like a rag doll.

Chopper cantered along side on four legs, smiling, chattering to his captian about what a shame that even though clouds looked like cotton candy, they didn't taste like it. The Captain laughed back with a grin.

The marksman dashed after as well.

"Oi! Luffy! I was just joking! Just because he can fly doesn't mean it's a good idea! What if he drops you or something? Luffy!" The rubber lad ignored the marksman and instead agreed with the deer, though insisted that meat flavored clouds would be the best.

Caesar continued to fight Straw Hat unsuccessfully. Sure, he had agreed to flying but he could walk by himself damn it.

He wasn't some toy to be dragged about.

The Captain bounded over to the center of the deck, Caesar a ruffled snarling mess at his feet. Wide happy eyes swept the deck and landed on the helm. The rubber boy waved energetically.

"NAMI! Over here! Nami!" The Captain shouted and the Bitchess looked away from the horizon while grasping the ship's wheel.

She took a moment to gauge the sky and then locked the wheel. Setting the Sunny's course.

The sun gleamed down and made the cascading red tresses gleam like strands of the finest copper. Amber eyes regarded the Captain with a fond joy. Pale skin glowed in the light, exposed by scant attire. Her massive bosom bounced with each step, threatening to burst free from the skimpy top. Her hips swayed with a passive seduction as the Red Harpy approached.

As much as he hated her, he couldn't deny that the self-righteous slut was a beauty.

The Bitchess came closer, and her perfect face was marred with a frown when she noticed the horned man in a jumble at the rubber boy's feet.

"Luffy, why is Caesar with you? It's Sanji's shift isn't it?" The rubber boy grinned in response.

"He's going to take me flying! Uncuff him!" The Captain suddenly lifted the white wrist he was holding toward the Red Harpy, causing Caesar to slide forward a few inches.

By this point Caesar was attempting to right himself while he glared at his surroundings and dreading what was to come.

The Bitchess blinked in confusion. Those full lips tightening with disapproval and delicate hands curling into fists on her hips.

"Luffy! That's a bad idea! He'll drop you into the ocean!" Caesar snarled at the accusation.

He was about to retort but, the suave voice of Black Leg carried over.

"It's alright Nami-swan. I've made it worth this bastard's while to cooperate." Caesar turned to look behind him.

Black Leg was closing the distance between them with a leisurely walk.

Long Nose was shaking his head and attempted to appeal to his Captain.

"Luffy! Come on, this is a terrible idea! He hates us! What's to stop him from attacking us?" The rubber boy laughed.

"It's fine Usopp! If he tries anything, I'll just beat him up again!" Caesar glanced at Chopper, expecting him to speak up against the purposed violence.

Instead, the little deer was grinning and clapping his hooves together.

"Yeah! I have plenty of bandages in stock! I wanna go flying too!" Caesar shot the deer an incredulous look.

"Nami, do you mind if we review the materials and food inventory early? I promised Caesar some notebooks for this." With that, Black Leg sent one of his more charming smiles to the woman.

The Bitchess regarded the lot through narrowed eyes.

Eventually, her chest bounced as she sighed.

"Fine! Stay here, I'll be back with the key and leggers." She turned on her heel and made her way to the aquarium.

Caesar stared intently after her. Looking to see if she would turn left or right at the door.

Knowing that would make looking for his key easier later.

The Red Harpy had almost reached the door when a steel toed shoe connected with Caesar's head.

Caesar yelped and clutched his newest injury.

"Don't stare at Nami's ass you perv." The cook still had his foot partially raised, threatening Caesar that there was more to come if he disobeyed.

"I wasn't looking at her ass!" Caesar snarled.

"Don't lie to me." With that the cook shifted focus. "Usopp, do you mind getting Franky and helping with reviewing inventory?"

Long Nose gave his Captain one last apprehensive look before sighing and nodding to Sanji. With hands shoved in his pockets, he made his way towards the sound of pounding metal, the brig.

Straw Hat was beaming at his crew's exchanges. Once the marksman was out of sight, he resumed debating the theoretical virtues of cotton candy and meat clouds with Chopper. Black Leg abstained, though he occasionally hummed in ascent or descent when something notable was said.

Caesar felt his brain melting.

First of all, cotton candy or meat clouds were impossible. Second, they wouldn't stay airborne. Thirdly, they would be contaminated with all manner of debris or rotten, thus inedible. Therefore, the whole conversation was a monumental waste of time.

Caesar kept these thoughts to himself.

He didn't feel like getting another kick just then. His head still hurt from the last one.

It seemed that Straw Hat had forgotten that he still had Caesar's wrist firmly grasped.

Like a surly dog on a leash, Caesar tugged Straw Hat's arm every few moments, testing to see if the grip had loosened at all.

It didn't loosen and Caesar was doomed to listen to the maddening drivel that came out of Straw Hat and Chopper.

The conversation had progressed to the discussion of various flavors and their relative superiority to one another by the time Red Harpy returned. In her arms she balanced several ledgers.

In the time it took to draw a breath, Black Leg was at her side and taking the burden of the books from the petite woman.

She gave the cook a grateful smile that made the cook's knees go weak. The man was swooning dangerously, threatening to topple over, as she turned away.

Where Red Harpy withdrew the key, from where, Caesar couldn't say. Her tiny shorts had no pockets and he couldn't see where else she could have stored it.

He was jarred out his thoughts when Straw Hat dragged him forward.

"Hurry Nami! Flying! We're gonna fly!" The rubber boy bounced in place and the Bitchess did as asked.

The cuffs came off and Caesar didn't even get a moment to enjoy the freedom.

Straw Hat immediately clamored up onto his back. The boy shouted with glee and Caesar grimaced at the volume.

Then Straw Hat dug his heels into Caesar's sides, like how one would urge a horse forward.

Anger took the helm and Caesar slowly looked over his shoulder

He glared at the large innocent eyes inches away from his own.

He was going to make Straw Hat rue this day.

Caesar crouched and launched himself into the air as a predominantly gaseous mass. Only his upper torso and head remained semi-solid and Straw Hat clamped down on Caesar.

He rapidly gained altitude and speed. Straw Hat's shouts of joy only grew louder.

Caesar was designed for flight. The wind that whipped by at breakneck speeds didn't sting him nor make his eyes tear.

At last, they were scores of meters above the ocean's surface, high enough that Straw Hat's crew looked like little figures on a toy ship.

A wicked smile bloomed on Caesar's face and he nose dived. Speeding straight for the unyielding deck.

Faster and faster they fell, the deck of the Thousand Sunny rushing towards them.

Any moment now, Caesar expected the cries of joy to turn into fear and pleas to pull up.

Instead the boy released grip on his shoulders and threw his arms above his head.

"YEAAAAAAAHH! FASTER! FASTER!" Straw Hat shouted.

Caesar pulled up, deck only feet away. He skimmed along the deck, weaving around various crew members and obstacles. He barely got enough height to clear the orange grove.

He distantly heard the shouts of the Red Harpy over the rubber boy's laughter.

Something about skinning him and her orange trees. He rolled his eyes, they were just trees. If one was damaged, just buy a new one. Hell, maybe branch out a little and buy some apple trees?

They reached a cruising altitude and the boy was still laughing like a madman.

Alright, fear of going splat was lost on the Captain. Caesar gave the mast and the rigging a measured look.

Caesar smirked and dove. Hitting critical speed again but, this time, he spun around the masts and wove between the rigging. He took care to take turns as sharply and quickly as possible.

Most of the time, Caesar didn't have a stomach, or much of one, to lose thanks to his fruit. The smirk grew as he recalled the mountains of food Straw Hat had eaten for breakfast. He was going to enjoy every second of the rubber boy's nauseous face.

The surroundings became a blur and Caesar focused on not crashing or spinning out of control.

Eventually, Caesar slowed and climbed in altitude again. He was panting from exertion. The wicked smirk fell away when he felt bubbles of laughter behind him.

"THAT WAS GREAT! DO IT AGAIN!" The rubber horror shouted with glee.

Caesar frowned and mulled over his next course of action.

A wicked grin appeared once more and Caesar made a point of flying even higher, well out of earshot of the other crew.

"Straw Hat, do you know what would make flying even more fun?" Caesar waited for the giggles to die down as he flew in lazy circles.

"Huh? What? Stopping by Sanji for some meat? Yeah! Let's do that! GO! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Caesar threw a heated glare over his shoulder.

"NO YOU IDI- ahem, no. No, Straw Hat. Though that is a good idea… if I do say so myself... What I'm willing to tell you is a flying secret. You'll feel every turn and dive a hundred times more! It's even better than meat! Do you want to hear it?" Stars appeared in those large eyes.

"A flying secret!? Better than meat!? Tell me! Tell me!" Caesar felt the boy bounce in excitement.

"Keep your arms above your head for the whole flight. By doing that, you'll feel every dive and turn much more!" Caesar gave the boy his best friendly smile.

If the idiot went along with it, Caesar was fairly confident that he could make Straw Hat fall off him.

Preferably into the ocean.

When that happened, he'd have to put his all into looking apologetic to the crew.

Really, how was it _his fault_ that Straw Hat couldn't hold on correctly and fell off?

The Captain hummed, arms folded over his chest and brow furrowed. It went on for a while.

Caesar was starting to tire of the display and was about to demand an answer when the boy laughed.

"Ok! Ok! Let's try it! You said it's better than meat! Let's go!" A wicked grin manifested on Caesar as he waited for the boy to comply.

The moment Straw Hat raised his arms up, Caesar shot off.

He rose even higher above the Sunny and it quickly got colder. A relief to the pale man. After his fruit, he had become more inclined to the cold.

The Sunny was now tiny, the crew on her just tiny specks.

Caesar, without warning, executed a loop-de-loop.

He had expected a scream from shock, or a falling Straw Hat.

Instead the boy yelled in delight with his arms still up.

Caesar huffed, alright, how about this?

He began to do barrel rolls, one after the other. Some going left others going right.

The yells of amusement didn't cease and Caesar ground his teeth.

He began to zig-zag, in addition to loops and rolls. Performing every flight maneuver he knew at his fastest speed.

The boy only cheered him on harder and grinned so wide that all his teeth gleamed in the sun.

Finally, Caesar slowed, panting and scowling.

All of that, and Staw Hat still stuck to him like a leech. Rubber legs clamped down on his torso in a vice grip. Shouts telling him to do another loop or roll filled the air.

Caesar slowed to doing lazy circles once more and the Captain shook his shoulders.

"Hey! Why are you slowing down? That was fun! Keep going!" The boy beamed down at him.

Caesar responded with a flat stare and an even slower speed.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been flying for, but he had been maintaining top speeds for an extended period. That, combined with the beating Zorro had given him, was stretching the pale man thin. True, his devil fruit being active dulled the strain and exhaustion by a significant degree but he knew pushing himself further would be unwise.

The rubber boy shook his shoulders again.

"Hey! Why are you going so slow!" Caesar's lips curled.

"Because I can Straw Hat! That's why!" The boy pouted in response.

"But that's not as fun! Go faster!" All of his being tensed with irritation. Hands clenched, teeth ground and eyes narrowed.

Then Straw Hat dug his heels into Caesar's sides again and, for just a moment, he saw nothing but red.

Becoming a glorified mount wasn't all that far from being a slave. Sure, this was an exchange of services for goods, but he still hated it.

"Straw Hat, if you dig your heels into me a third time, I swear I am going to drop you into the ocean. To Hell with what your crew has to say about it. Do it again and…" He let his words trail off as he looked back into Straw Hat's eyes.

"I. Will. Drop. You." There was no quick retort from the boy.

That ever cheerful face was clouded with confusion. Large eyes closely inspected the pale man's face.

Quickly growing uncomfortable with the inspection, Caesar looked forward.

"I do that with Chopper when we run around, and he doesn't mind." Caesar growled.

"Do I look like an animal Straw Hat? The answer is no. I am not an animal. So don't do it again."

"Chopper is not an animal, he's my namaka." The boy stated and Caesar snapped back.

"He has fur, hooves and antlers. He's a deer. Intelligent and sapient, but clearly an animal." A rubber hand reached out and wigged one of Caesar's horns, by extension making the attached head wobble.

"STOP THAT!" Caesar screeched as he yanked his head forward, out of the boy's grasp, and the Captain only laughed in response.

"You have horns too!"

"I wasn't born with horns you idiot! My fruit gave me these! I'm human!"

"Human, but heartless." Caesar felt his hair bristle and looked back.

"AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?! YOU AND THAT BASTARD LAW TOOK IT!" He shouted at the boy.

The Captain was quiet for a second. The ever present grin was now a line.

"The heart we took was a dead one."

"It was not! We both saw it, it was beating even outside my chest." Caesar continued to cruise in slow circles. Occasionally flying straight to catch up to the Sunny.

"Nope." The boy stated as he leaned over one side of Caesar to look below.

"Oooo! Look!" Caesar rolled his eyes in response.

He cast his gaze downward to see what the boy was babbling about. There, in the waters a good distance from the Sunny, swam a large beast.

It was a long body with a long neck as well, covered in a mix of scales and feathers. Colorful spines started the head and went down the spine. The long whip-like tail was covered in sharp bony ridges. Two humanoid like limbs sprouted from the shoulders, ending in four webbed, long and thin digits. These distorted arms had the monster cutting through the waves with each mighty stroke. It had a head like a horse but it ended in a massive serrated beak.

Huh, a Wolotomi. Extremely dangerous beasts. It was reported that those beaks could cut through just about anything. They also supposedly had paralytic and mind influencing powers. What exactly those were, it was hard to say. Recountings from survivors were always muddled and contradicting.

It was a good thing he was up here and far far far away from the Wolotomi. It was heading towards the Thousand Sunny, but that wasn't his problem.

"It looks tasty! GUM-GUM PISTOL!" Caesar's eyes bulged and, before he could protest, a rubber arm shot down.

He watched in horror as the Captain's hand connected with the creature's elbow. Then the arm began to retract and massive beasts was being lifted out of the water, towards the flying duo.

A mix of an outraged bellow and shrill squawk vibrated in the air as the beast came rocketing closer.

The weight of the creature was making Caesar rapidly loose altitude. He tried to make more of his body gaseous and channel more air into an uplifting stream beneath him.

It was in vain. That monster had to be more than two tons in weight. Caesar was steadily plummeting as the Captain grinned with glee at the approaching monster.

The scaled head violently twisted to lock onto the flying pair. Two large black eyes burned with a primal hunger and Caesar was yelling at Straw Hat to let go of it.

The boy's manic grin grew even larger and the monstrous beak opened wide. A sonic wail came out of the beast.

Pain. So much pain.

It felt like a stilettos had been rammed into his ears. Bones vibrated like they were threatening to shatter. Gaseous parts of him thinned. Caesar felt his eyes rolling up into his head

He knew he had to do something, but he couldn't. Too much pain.

He was dimly aware of Straw Hat shuddering on his back and the beast was flying closer. That soul shredding scream, rending at his being, seeming to go on for an eternity.

Suddenly, the wail stopped, and Caesar was aware and in control once more.

They were falling and the beast was grappling them. One webbed hand on Caesar's torso. Another clamped down on Staw Hat's head and pulling so that the neck was stretched out. The beak that been coming down to behead the rubber boy was bound in a mass of vines. The creature raged, it's head tossing back and forth, trying to rid itself of the plant.

"Thanks Usopp! GUM-GUM GATLING GUN!" A violent rain of rubber fists fell all round Caesar and the Wolotomi's body contorted with each blow.

Despite all that, the creature still clung onto the two grimly. Beak desperately flexing and head shaking. The vines were slowly coming off.

Straw Hat's attacks did look effective on the Wolotomi but they were falling faster than the creature was getting injured. If they hit the water, the creature might revive and they would be helpless. While he would have loved to see the rubber boy drown in the depths of the ocean with the beast, Caesar didn't feel like taking a swim with a Wolotomi either.

Caesar gathered the combustible gasses like methane and others inside himself into an orb and brought it up to his mouth. Then he rearranged the oxygen before him into a column, directed at the beast.

If he was lucky, he might hit Straw Hat too.

"GASLIGHT!" His jaw opened and the volatile orb collided into the gathered oxygen.

Oxygen erupted into a blast of flames and struck the creature in the chest.

The Wolotomi issued a muffled scream and released the pair.

Now. Now was the time to run.

Caesar gathered himself and flew. Up and away from the falling beast. Through all of that, Straw Hat's legs remained solidly clamped to his torso. So much for trying to get the boy to fall off.

Straw Hat had the audacity to laugh and Caesar felt the boy winding up for something.

Caesar stared in disbelief as a rubber hand shot down past him and towards the beast, _again_.

Why?! They just got away!

Another rubber arm shot in the direction of the Sunny and grabbed onto the mast.

Then all three were rocketing towards the Thousand Sunny. Caesar could see the last of the vines falling off the Wolotomi's head.

They all landed in a jumble on deck. Caesar scrambled, misting backwards from the other two. Let Straw Hat deal with it.

The rubber boy was getting up just as the beast raised it's now free head. It's jaws opened, but that paralyzing wail never came.

Instead the Wolotomi's head hit the deck, blood splattering everywhere, a good third of it's head collapsed in.

Black Leg stood with his leg extended over the carcass, smoke rising from his ever present cigarette. He coolly regarded the scene.

"Ah! Sanji! Look what I found! Cook it!" Before the cook could respond, the Red Harpy stormed over.

"Luffy! I saw that! Are you insane? Do you know how far from the ship you were!? If you fell into the water, we might not have reached you two in time!" Her heels clicked ominously as she approached and the boy smiled at the navigator.

Caesar made the tactical decision to put even more space between himself and Straw Hat.

"But Nami! Look! Meat!" The Captain gestured at the dead creature and grinned with a blood splattered face.

The Bitchess' fist connected with her Captain's head and the boy cried out in pain. He held his head as the Red Harpy proceed to scold him with a fury. Any protests fell on deaf ears.

Carving the beast began, Black Leg and Chopper leading the effort. Meat was harvested. Supposedly valuable parts were put aside to sell at the next port. Long Nose collected the hide for leather.

Caesar retreated to float about sails and rigging. Watching the crew from afar and trying to not give them a reason to remember him. To remind them to put those vile cuffs back on.

He watched the crew work. Some of the crew skillfully dealing with the task. The Captain bounced from member to member, observing and chattering until he got shooed away.

Caesar soon lost interest in the going ons below him. And focused on his current freedom to fly. Weaving between the rigging, curling up the masts. He circled and began another circuit and came face to face with Straw Hat, hanging from the yard arm like a monkey.

"CAESAR! FLYING! Let's go!" The boy shouted.

He gave Straw Hat a flat stare, that young face grinning up at him. No concern at all for the dangerous encounter they just had. Bubbling with excitement for the next thrill. Caesar frowned, turning his back to the boy and floating away.

"I took you for a flight, my deal with Black Leg is done. Go away." He flew to the mast on the other side of the ship and a rubber arm shot out. Straw Hat sat on the yard arm this time.

"Aww, come on it was fun! Do more rolls and dives!" Caesar felt one of the veins in his temple start to throb.

"Did you not notice the Wolotomi that just tried to eat us?! They travel in pods! No! I'm not going out there just to have you pick another useless and dangerous fight!" The boy beamed.

"But we got yummy meat for dinner! Sanji said he was going to make a roast! If we find more of those things, we can have more meat! Let's go!" The boy stood, expecting Caesar to suddenly see and understand the pure joy that was meat.

Caesar folder his arms and glared down his nose at the boy.

"I don't eat meat." The boy stilled and blinked.

He continued to stare, not seeming be able to process what the pale man had said.

"Oh!" Straw Hat exclaimed, hitting his fist into an open palm.

"Don't worry. I'll tell Sanji to put some of the meat into the juice machine for you. Now let's g-"

"NO MEANS NO STRAW HAT!" The boy looked both deflated and confused.

"What? I promise you'll get a share of the meat and Sanji will juice it." Caesar pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to will the forming migraine away. This boy was just impossible.

"No, I don't want your meat. No, I don't want liquid meat. No, I am not going flying with you again. End of story." Straw Hat frowned and was eerily quiet for a moment.

"Why don't you want to go flying again? It was fun!" Caesar rolled his eyes in response.

"I don't want to go flying with _you_ Straw Hat. You're a loose cannon and it's just going to bring me more trouble. Not worth it and there's nothing in it for me anymore."

"Why do you need to get things? Let's go and have some fun!" Caesar snorted and took on a haughty look.

"It's that kind of irresponsible thinking that gets people killed. Sure, have 'fun' now. Sure, do nothing but 'fun' later. What about tomorrow? Will there be the food and supplies you need? What are the contingency plans for when you don't have those things? But, who am I to stop you? Go have your fun Straw Hat and leave me out of it." A deep frown settled on the boy's face and he was quiet once more.

"We have those things. Sanji makes the food and Nami makes sure everyone has what they need. It's fine." Caesar's lip curled.

" _It's fine._ He says. Ha. And what do you do Straw Hat? Play and play and play. That's all I see you do. Leaving everything to your crew to manage. They even order you, _the captain,_ about. What use are you?" Caesar laughed and some of the mirth left Straw Hat's face.

"It's not like that. It doesn't matter who tells who what to do. We look out for and help each other. We all have what we do best and I'm going protect my crew and defeat anyone who gets in the way of our dreams." Caesar's grin took on an oily sheen.

"Oh, so you just beat your problems into submission? Well Straw Hat, I can show you scores of two beli thugs that do the same, and look how far they get… Not far, I tell you. Let's look at you. You've been banking on brute strength and luck. That was working out fine till the Firefist Ace fiasco. I read the papers. You charged straight in, didn't even pause to think. You forced everyone else to do the thinking for you, didn't you? How many deaths did you cause that day?" What was left of good humor drained from the boy's face and the shadows depend around his eyes. A visible pain took hold of Straw Hat and Caesar's grin grew as he silently cheered.

Yes, Straw Hat. This is just the beginning. I will make you pay a hundred times over for what you've taken from me. For how low you have made me fall. Suffer, you don't know the meaning of the word.

"You think yourself strong. You are weak and foolish." Caesar brought his hand up to point at the rubber lad's head.

"Weak in the mind. No strategy. No cunning. No forethought. With planning, almost anyone could beat you. You've been lucky so far." The gloved hand fell away.

"Foolish. You are a fool to have emotionally invested in these people. You can't fully protect them and look at the pain their departure causes. You would have been better off having never known them. In fact, y-"

"No." Straw Hat cut him off.

"I will never regret knowing Ace or my crew. I failed… to save Ace, and alot of people died. I wasn't strong enough. I'm stronger now and I'm stronger for knowing Ace and the others. I will always keep his memories close." Caesar was taken slightly back from the fierce stare the boy gave him.

"What use are those memories? He's dead and gone. No amount of remembering will bring him back." Straw Hat's frown receded slightly.

The boy didn't respond immediately, instead he cast his gaze downward. Below, the crew still worked on the dead Wolotomi. The Red Harpy lecturing Long Nose about something. Black Leg skinned and cut away raw meat at an astonishing speed. Patches of Chopper's fur soaked a dark red with blood as he tried to extract glands from the beast's skull.

"It's cold without them." Caesar wasn't sure where or how the boy reached that conclusion.

"Straw Hat, it's summer in this part of the Grand Line."

"Hmmm, yup, it is." Straw Hat sat like a loon, smiling down at his crew below and Caesar massaged his temples.

Nonsense, insanity and irresponsibility just poured out of Straw Hat's mouth when it opened. How the hell did this idiot get this far on the Grand Line?

"Do you even know how to read?" The boy nodded.

"Prove it. What is this word on my lab coat?" Caesar pointed to the purple word 'GAS' on the right half of his chest.

The boy squinted and frowned.

"Why?" Straw Hat questioned and Caesar snapped back.

"Just do it. What does it say?" Caesar swore, up and down, if the boy couldn't read, he'd have to do some serious re-evaluation. To have lost to someone who couldn't even _read_. A level of pathetic Caesar feared he had fallen to.

Straw Hat focused on the lettering.

Moments passed and sweat formed on boy's brow.

Suddenly he erupted with laughter and Caesar eyed the rubber lad warily.

"Gas! I get it! It's because of your fruit power!" He continued to bubble over with laughter and Caesar sighed.

He had fallen to an insane pirate but, at least he had the most rudimentary of intellect. Silver linings and all that.

The boy quieted down, tilted his head and now looked at Caesar's gloves. As if this was the first time he was noticing the presence of lettering on his being.

"Marines? Aren't you a pirate now? Why are you still wearing that?" Caesar's hands twitched from the sudden desire to hide them behind his back.

Caesar wasn't comfortable displaying the branded Xs on the backs of his hands to the world. One look, and people knew you were a thief, and a poor one at that. Onlookers knew that one call to the watch and he was as good as arrested. The gloves had fit well when he got them from the Marine Science Core. When he left the marines, things like maintaining his appearance and clothing became optional when there were no corporals hounding him to stay 'military sharp'. How was a well groomed look going to help him find the next breakthrough anyway? A waste of time, that's what it was.

A rubber hand was being waved in his face.

"CCCAAEESSAARR! Hey! You there?!" Caesar scowled and swatted the hand away.

He was about to respond when a shout from below caught both of their attention.

"Luffy! Bring Caesar down here! Time for him to put his cuffs back on!" The Red Harpy waved.

Caesar felt dread pool in his stomach. He didn't want to leave the rigging.

"Aww! Nami, one more flight!" Straw Hat shouted down. Her response was quick and sharp.

"After that last one? No. Get down here. Sanji has something to say." The boy huffed and then clapped his hand on Caesar's shoulder.

"Flying was fun! Let's do it again soon! You should try to be happy sometimes. You might like it." With that the boy scooted off the yardarm and fell to the deck below.

Caesar snarled after the rubber lad. If it wasn't for this ship, this crew and, most importantly, Straw Hat himself, he'd be well on his way to happiness. Not here with this sunny, flimsy smile and nosey beyond belief crew.

Brooke's promise of a song floated into his mind for a moment and he shook his head violently to discard the thought.

He had better things waiting for him out there.

"Caesar! Come down! Don't make me send someone up there for you!" The Bitchess screeched.

Caesar flinched at the octave she was hitting and looked down.

The Wolotomi carcass was dealt with. Not a trace of the blood bath could be seen.

He was startled to see the entire crew gathered with Black Leg standing in the center. With all of them there, he had little hope of disobeying the Bitchess and getting away with it.

Caesar moodily floated down, choosing to defiantly hover a foot or so above the deck.

Robin sent him an amused smile as the Red Harpy sashayed forward, key and shackles in hand.

Delicate hands held out the open cuffs and Caesar glared down.

The bitch was expecting him to put his wrists in willingly. Anger started to claw it's way to the surface.

Zorro suddenly yawned loudly and one of his hands came to rest on his katanas. The lone eye giving the horned man a tired, yet pointed glance.

Caesar ground his teeth.

With a heavy heart, Caesar solidified, feet firmly planted on the deck. The Red Harpy gave him a bright smile as she snapped and locked the cuffs shut.

His world narrowed and all the exhaustion and aches his fruit had been holding at bay came rushing forward. Caesar cursed and stumbled slightly, balance lost.

In an instant, Brooke caught Caesar's shoulders in a skeletal grasp and steadied the pale man.

"Ceasar-kun, are you alright? Do you need to rest? That was quite the flight you and Luffy-san had! Yo-ho-ho-ho!" Caesar hissed and wretched his shoulders out of the Dead Man's hold.

The rest of the crew was giving him looks of concern. Caesar shot them all a withering glare. He was fine, he wasn't made of lace. He didn't need their help. He'd get through this himself as he had with all his past trials.

The crew continued to watch him despite his show of anger. He saw Chopper's eyes in particular gleaming with worry. Caesar eventually caved and look down at the deck. Uncomfortable with the attention being sent his way.

A slim yet strong hand took his elbow.

Caesar rounded on the person, ready to angrily tear into them. However, his wrathful retort died when he came face to face with a smiling Nico Robin. He debated on tugging his arm out of her grasp, or if that action would be part of her plan.

"It is quite sunny today. Why don't we all talk in the shade? I'm sure what Sanji-san has to say can wait a moment." Robin began to gently, but firmly, pull him towards his shadowed corner.

The others followed in their normal boisterous way and Caesar tried to get out of Robin's grasp. Her calm smile somehow took on a mischievous air. She released his elbow, only to then link elbows with him and clasp his forearm. Grip no tighter than before.

Caesar could practically feel the flames behind him. Glancing backwards, he saw Black Leg's face contorted in a jealous rage. The blond man's normally relaxed posture was hunched forward and teeth gritting his cigarette could be seen.

"Walk with me Caesar-san, after the trouble my captain has caused, I think we all could use a calm walk." The dark woman tilted her head up to him, hints of a sly smile on her face.

Caesar noticed the cook's fury grow ever stronger. To walk anywhere near the irate man was asking for a beating. Caesar's brow furrowed and he whispered quietly so that only Robin could hear.

"Manipulative witch." The scholar laughed quietly with a happy expression. Making it look as if he had just told her an amusing joke. She leaned her head upon his upper arm and Caesar heard Black Leg audibly sputter in outrage behind him.

"Takes one to know one, now shall we set off?" Choosing to avoid Black Leg's wrath, Caesar allowed himself to be lead by Nico Robin.

As the group moved along, Caesar glanced over his shoulder occasionally. An aura of anger billowed off the cook. In it's wake, followed Zorro, eye closed and seemingly oblivious to the world. Chopper and the Marksman came next, the two chattering away about plans for the new ingredients they had just harvested from the Wolotomi. Franky lumbered behind them, surveying the group in front of him with an amused smirk. Brooke and Straw Hat brought up the rear. The two dancing and about as the skeleton performed Bink's Sake yet _again_.

Caesar was sure that how these people could listen to the same song over and over again was strong evidence supporting his theory that the Straw Hat pirates were utterly insane. He didn't care for music, true, but it had gotten to the point where he physically shuddered when that song began.

The group reached Caesar's corner. Robin released him and he quickly scuttled away from her and Black Leg. The cook regained some of his composure, his anger seemingly inversely proportional to Caesar's distance from Robin.

The horned man grabbed his cheerful pillow off the deck as went further into his corner, it was his, it wouldn't do to leave it in their easy reach. He backed up to the walls of the corner, trying to get as far as he could from his captors. A futile, but necessary effort.

"Sanji, what did you want to say to us?" Asked the marksman.

The last of Black Leg's anger seemed to vanish, as if it had never been there, and the suave laidback persona returned. He took his time to discard the now destroyed cigarette and replace it with a new one. The cook breathed out a stream of smoke as he responded.

"Not yet, Nami isn't back yet." Caesar glanced about and didn't see the Bitchess.

"Where did she go?" Chopper asked as he looked about with those big eyes, searching for his missing comrade.

"She went to go put away that sick bastard's key. She'll be back in a second." Caesar fumed as he glared at Robin.

That had been an effective distraction on the dark woman's part. He hadn't even noticed the Red Harpy leaving.

Zorro plodded over, seemingly half asleep. He leaned against the outer wall of Caesar's corner, just outside the group's rough circle but close enough to hear everything said.

Caesar watched as Chopper eventually joined Brooke and Straw Hat in their dance and song. A guitar appeared in Franky's hands and played accompaniment. The marksman clapped in time to the beat and sang along. Black Leg and Robin watched their namaka with faint smiles.

His aching body eventually forced Caesar to surrender his pride as he slid down along the wall to sit against it. He mentally bemoaned how the Straw Hats were either in or near the shadowy bounds of his corner. Forcing him to have a front seat in watching all the merriment. Didn't they have anything _practical_ or _productive_ to do? This was such a waste of ti-

Caesar yelped in alarm as he was suddenly flying towards the dancers. A rubber hand on his shoulder. Next moment he was being tossed about the circle by Straw Hat. He heard various people around happily shout at his sudden participation.

He didn't like this, being thrown about like a rag doll. He didn't know how to dance nor like it. Singing was a waste of time and most of these people here couldn't hold a melody to save their lives. Caesar's anger built up with each toss, laugh and course.

He had had enough.

Caesar smacked his shackles down on Straw Hat's hands. Making the boy drop him and recoil from the seastone. The tomfoolery came to a halt and Caesar picked himself off the deck.

"Ouch! Why did you do that!?" Exclaimed Straw Hat and Caesar felt his blood go cold.

Enough of this.

"I am not a toy to be tossed around Straw Hat. Touch me again, and I swear, I will kill you." And he would, he'd killed others in the past for much less. A grim air settled about the group.

Chopper looked a mix of alarmed and outraged at the issued threat. Franky and Brooke both stopped playing. Franky, with his head tilted back slightly, regarded Caesar with an unusually serious expression. Brooke was stock still, there was a sad aura lurking in the dark sockets that disturbed the pale man. Robin and Black Leg looked unfazed, waiting for their Captain to make a move. Zorro continued to lean against the wall with his eye closed, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Long Nose moved forward, as if to jump to his Captain's defense.

Straw Hat halted the marksman with an outstretched palm, his eyes were large and bright. No trace of the malicious gleam Caesar expectantly searched for.

"Nobody is a toy. You looked unhappy in the corner, so I thought it be better for you to play with us." Caesar bristled.

"Does it look like I want to play with you lot?!" The boy grinned.

"You played with Brooke and Zorro! Now play with us too! Don't be all mopey all the time. Play! Live a little!" Exasperation settled onto the pale man's face and he couldn't tell if the noise that came from Zorro was a snore or a snort.

"I wasn't playing with them." Caesar spat.

"It's ok if you don't know how to play. We can teach you. There's tag, hide-n-seek, hop-scotch, racing, four sq-" The rubber boy got cut off.

"I KNOW HOW TO PLAY! I'm an adult! It's a waste of time!" Straw Hat tilted his head at the outburst and the others remained quiet.

"It's not a waste of time. It's important. Everyone plays." Caesar sneered at the boy.

"I don't play. Normally, I have work and other better things to be doing. Unfortunately, I'm stuck with you lot." Straw Hat hummed loudly in supposed thought.

"I'm back! Sanji! Here's the log book. You left it behind."

Bitchess appeared above them, on the decking outside the galley. She leaned on the rail, chest resting upon the banister, pushed forward to display their bounty to anyone present.

She held out a heavy ledger to the cook and he reached up to take it.

"Ah, thank you Nami-swan! My angel! Always looking out for me!" Black Leg dithered and Caesar rolled his eyes.

The blonde opened the book and flipped it to marked section.

"Alright, before I get started, Luffy, have you been sneaking anything besides meat from my kitchen?" Straw Hat didn't bother to look sheepish at the question and responded instantly.

"Nope! I took the mutton legs last night!" Rather than launching into a lecture punctuated with kicks, the cook sighed.

"I thought as much. I've been noticing food disappearing from my kitchen. Food that Luffy wouldn't touch if there's meat around. Things like vegetables and bread. It's small and random, but it's becoming clear in my logs." The cook paused and surveyed the crew.

"I don't mind serving extra food, happy to even, but I need to keep record of how much is eaten and when. It's important for when we resupply so that we order what we need. Not too much or too little. Have any of you been raiding my kitchen?" Black Leg explained and asked calmly.

"Curly-bro, I take cola sometimes but I let ya know later!" Franky exclaimed and the blond nodded.

The crew for the most part either shook their heads or couldn't recall that last time they had tried to swipe something from Sanji's domain.

"Do you have any idea how long food has been vanishing for Sanji-san?" Robin calmly asked and the blond paused to inspect his log book.

"If I had to guess… a three or four weeks." There was a small lull of silence before Long Nose spoke up.

"Oi Franky, didn't you and I have to fix the engine around then? When it got weirdly overheated?" The Cyborg wore a serious look and nodded.

Zorro joined the circle, suddenly fully awake and focused. For the first time during his forced stay on the Sunny, Caesar witnessed the first mate issue an order.

"Everyone split into pairs and search the ship." No one hesitated and the crew hustled to do as Zorro commanded.

Zorro, followed by the Bitchess, walked towards the bow. Franky and the marksman made their way towards the brig. Straw Hat and Brooke went off to search the deck. Black Leg and Robin we're to set off and sweep the cabins on deck. The dark woman paused, making her the last to leave his corner.

"Caesar, you can stay here if you like, but it may be better if you went with one of us." Caesar's eyes ran over the various pairs that had formed.

None of the pairings appealed to Caesar. Each having an element or aspect that made him cringe at the thought of going with them.

By this time, pairs had gotten farther from him, yet all were still on the deck. Caesar was about to decline the offer but was cut off.

"One, Two, touch my shoe.

Three, Four, knock at the door."

A sing song voice of a young girl carried over and, in the distance, he could see a child jumping rope on the bow.

"Five, six, pick up sticks.

Seven, eight, lay them straight."

Zorro being closest, was the first to investigate. Seeing that it was a child, the grip on his katanas relaxed.

Despite his approach, the girl continued to jump rope. Even from this distance, Caesar could make out the smile on the young dark face.

"Nine, ten, a big fat hen!

Glue-Glue Wave!"

As her rope came down, the child splayed her hands. Ebony skin on her arms turning white as snow as small flood of viscous white gel rushed forward.

The grunt of the swordsman could be heard as he got hit by the wave. He reeled, covered head to toe in white goo. Zorro hastily wiped his face clean and then lunged at the girl. His hands outstretched to grab the child by the nape.

The girl was already moving on to the rest of the crew, ignoring the dangerous swordsman.

The green haired man slowed as he got closer and then stopped fully only a foot away from the girl. The man struggled and shouted alarm, his body imprisoned.

The Straw Hats we're on alert and began to move to try and help their imprisoned namaka.

It was a futile effort Caesar would realize later.

The trap was already sprung.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _Men in White Coats_ \- Caesar has been going on and on about how the Straw Hats are crazy, but sanity and insanity is a matter of perspective. By society's standards, Caesar is a sociopath with incredible levels of apathy and would be certifiable. He's also consumed with ambition. When he looks at something new, his first thoughts are of how can this be useful to him, advance his goals or what can make with it. Thus, he collects plans and thoughts as fast as he discards them, the instance with Torladium is an example of this behavior.

 _Eyes of Blu-BROWN!_ \- I stand corrected. Nami's eyes are brown. For some reason, my mental images of her have blue eyes. Great catch! Here on out, the pretty lady will be having brown eyes.

 _WARNING_ \- This is where I toss my cannon overboard. Going forward will be original characters, locations and major deviation from Oda's story line. Dangerous waters are dead ahead.

 _General_ \- I cannot put into words just how much your reviews support me. When my phone goes off at the lunch table at work with a review message and the whole day is is twice as bright and my troubles seem that much smaller. You all have my heartfelt thanks for lending me your support.


	11. Chapter 11 - Swing Your Partner

In the blink of an eye, strife consumed the Thousand Sunny.

At the bow, Zorro stood trapped in a white shell. The dark little girl eyed the Red Harpy and the latter charged. Weather rods assembled into a staff for a brutal strike.

Caesar noticed that little girl's eyes glowed a bright neon green.

Robin raised her arms. Her focus was on the girl.

"Cein Flu-" It was like watching a dolphin erupt from the ocean's surface.

From the shadows at Robin's feet, burst forth a limber man, daggers flashing. Before the scholar could react, he was upon her. In one smooth strike, the pommel of one of the daggers connected with her temple. A critical strike.

The light of consciousness faded from Robin's eyes. She began to fall bonelessly to the deck but her assailant caught her by the arm, softening her impact.

Now that he wasn't a blur of motion, Caesar saw that the man was fair skinned, short black locks gathered into a ponytail and dressed in close fitting clothes with loose a mantel.

This man's eyes also glowed an unnatural shade of green.

Black Leg exploded in a fury and descended on the dagger wielding man.

Violent kicks rained down and the lithe stranger proved nimble but pressed. He managed to dodge each of the cook's strikes but wasn't able to return any attacks successfully.

A woman climbed over the railing at the bow, joining the little girl.

She was massive.

Easily eight feet tall. Shoulders as broad as two rum kegs put together. Muscles bulged with each movement, making the clothes she wore look too small.

Like a rolling boulder, the massive woman advanced slowly, her glowing green eyes vigilant.

Another figure vaulted over the port side and landed with a feline grace on the balls of her feet. Her clothing was simple. Loose white breeches and tunic, secured with an intricately knotted black belt. Fists were raised, one extended, ready to strike and another at the level of her eye, ready to block. Caesar noticed a patch of black haki flowing up and down her skin, never staying in one place.

The fighter's glowing green eyes swept the battlefield, seeking a target.

On the starboard, a creature with two riders got over the railing and onto the deck. The beast's body was similar in build to a greyhound. Long limbs covered in hard compact muscles all connected to a narrow barrel chest. The beast's feet each ended in a paw with three long webbed digits, each tipped with sharp claws. A lean neck ended in a snarling head similar to a wolf's head. It lacked fur and ears and had scales instead. The fangs were eternally barred since it had no lips. Red lidless membrane covered eyes flashed, ready to maul the next fool that came too close.

In the saddle sat a man wielding a revolver in one hand and a lasso in the other. He wore a rancher's hat and a red bandana covered the lower half of his face. Leaving only glowing green eyes exposed.

Behind the rawhide, a cloaked figure clumsily clung to the other man's waist. A green light gleamed from the depths of the hood.

The mountain of a woman intercepted Nami's strike at the little girl with her forearm. Massive fists came hurtling down at the Harpy and she desperately scrambled out of the way. Steadily losing ground and the little girl and giant advanced.

This was one of the few times he had ever seen Zorro this animated. His face was the picture of frustration and aggravation, bright red and snarling. He strained at the white shell with all his might, but made no progress.

Caesar's mind spun, processing, a logical plan came to mind.

He dove onto the deck, chains smacking the wood, and crawled towards a small mound of crates in a corner of the deck by the galley. Pleased with the Straw Hats for the first time in a long time, glad that they had brought all these boxes up for inventory review.

Safe behind the cargo, Caesar resumed watching the fight. As if he'd _help_ the Straw Hats. Pah.

The rawhide was keeping Brooke pinned with a volley of bullets, the Dead Man seeming to spastically run about the deck.

The cloaked figure practically fell off the beast when trying to dismount. Then scrambled towards the bow, trying to skirt around the fighting.

Straw Hat saw the hooded figure retreating and wound up for a punch. Just as the punch was about to let loose, the rancher urged his mount to lunge. The rubber boy abandoned his attack was was busy dodging a flurry of claws and teeth.

There was a thud on the deck as Franky, Chopper and the marksman landed near the fallen Robin. The two covering the deer as he checked the fallen woman.

Without warning, the fighter suddenly appeared before the marksman. Lunging forward, grabbing his head and slamming it against the galley wall. The black patch flowed down her arm and two ferocious haki hardened punches hit the compromised the skull.

Blood poured down the side of the sniper's face as he slid down the wall, lying in a brutalized unmoving heap.

The warrior leapt away, and closed in on Chopper. Franky intercepted, a massive metal fist forcing a dodge, as he placed himself between Chopper and the dangerous woman.

The Red Harpy's cries for assistance filled the air. Caesar looked over in time to see the enemy duo work in tandem. The little girl threw her hands forward, tossing globs of glue. The Bitchess jumped to dodge but blundered into a massive backhand.

Caesar giggled quietly as he watched the Red Harpy fly.

The force of the blow sent her soaring all the way down the length of the ship. Caesar heard the collision of her body on the wall next to him. Down the wall and on the decking she lay crumpled, unmoving.

Caesar debated moving two feet to check on her, but then decided against it. It wasn't worth risking his hiding spot with movement. She would be just as alive or dead when someone checked on her after the fight… there wasn't anything he could do for her now anyway.

The tables turned on the rancher as Straw Hat began to ignore the claws and fangs in favor of launching attacks. Blows managed to get through and the creature bellowed in pain and the rider swore.

With an ease that came with years of practice, a dark lasso spun up above the rancher's head. The lizard dog was struggling, trying to keep clawing at the rubber boy while guarding injured limbs.

"GUM-GUM!" Straw Hat shouted as his fist stretched out behind him and the rawhide's glowing green eyes narrowed. Lasso spinning even faster.

"PISTOL!" The rope flew forward, crossing paths with the incoming fist.

Both found their mark.

The rancher was sent tumbling out of his saddle. Recovery was successful and he managed to roll into a crouch, both rope and revolver in hand. His hat lost and laying on the deck.

Straw Hat stood, fist still raised, looking at the dark rope that entwined his chest. Shock and surprise plain as day in those large eyes as he sagged with a sudden exhaustion.

The two struggled, the rancher trying to reel Straw Hat in and the latter attempting to escape. Brooke dashed forward, trying to save his Captain.

Green eyes flared in unison.

Like magic, the fighter instantly abandoned her fight with the Cyborg, sprinting forward and caught Brooke. One hand on his ribs and the other on the sword arm. She heaved, and a loud crack filled the air.

The Dead Man fell away, standing stunned, looking at his shoulder. The missing arm was lying discarded on the deck. The fighter lunged again, hands outstretched to grab.

The big woman manifested by the rancher, grabbing Straw Hat and lifting him off the ground. Her strength proving greater. The rubber boy was growling and fighting all the way, legs flailing in the air, failing to stretch and attack.

The rawhide moved forward and Straw Hat was hog-tied in moments. Ending up on the deck floor, wiggling and thrashing about in vain.

Franky wore a dark look and surveyed the battle and the shouted to Chopper.

"Little-bro! Cover me! I'm gonna put a super end to this!" The metal mountain entered a wide stance.

The transformation began. Legs splitting in half and folding into metal base. Shoulder orbs rotated and glowing energy grids emerged. Red sight lasers beamed out from the shades, a red dot appearing martial artist's torso as she chased a fleeing Brooke. Arms came together and melded into a massive cannon. Energy gathered in the gun, and the crates near Caesar began to rattle as waves of power practically billowed off the Cyborg.

Chopper got up from Robin's side, bandages carefully wrapped around her head. Three yellow candies were swallowed at once.

Thousand Sunny bobbed dangerously as she sunk a good fifteen feet into the water as Chopper rapidly swelled in size.

A roar that made bones vibrate tore through the air and a massive palm came down to smash the rawhide, the one who had tied up the Captain of the Straw Hats.

Green eyes flared.

The cowboy ignored his impending doom and raised his revolver at Brooke, taking a steady aim.

A shot was fired, closely followed by a massive slam.

The big woman's body violently trembled and she strained against Chopper's hand, holding it back, and Brooke lay on the deck, one of his lower legs blown off at the knee. Crippled, crawling on the deck towards the lost leg.

The hooded figure got to the lost leg first and collected it. He held it over the ship's side and Brooke froze, knowing he'd never get the limb back if it fell into the ocean.

The little girl was at the furred behemoth's feet. Glue gushing out of her hands, splattering onto enormous feet.

Franky's gun grew brighter.

Black Leg's attacks were connecting now, the shadow man was panting and bloodied, desperately weaving to soften the impact of bone crushing kicks.

Green eyes flashed.

Suddenly, the nimble man sunk into the shadows and the fighter appeared to take his place, Black Leg blocking a black fist.

The cook struggled to dodge and block every blow from the powerhouse, yet, he never made any counter attacks. The fighter frowned.

"You are strong, why do you not fight me seriously?" She asked, punctuated with kicks and punches.

"You are a woman, I will never harm a woman." Black Leg responded smoothly despite his ruffled hair and wrinkled suit.

Her attacks doubled in speed and ferocity.

"I no mere woman." The cook was losing ground and taking hits.

"I am a warrior. You…" The calm but icy voice trailed off. Dropping to her hands, executing a sweeping kick and Black Leg leapt to dodge.

"... I will destroy for this dishonor. Soru! Tekkai! Chikara!" Her muscles swelled, skin hardened and more patches of flowing haki appeared.

The attacks that came next, Caesar couldn't even follow with his eyes but saw the cook crumpling and blood splattering on the deck.

The big woman and little girl were hard pressed. Blood and bruises covered the large woman and she now focused on dodging Chopper's attacks rather than blocking. The little girl darted about, tossing globs of glue at Chopper's feet to no effect. The area being covered being far too small to affect Chopper.

The assailants' eyes stopped glowing green and the hooded figure by the bow raised a hand, wrapped in a soft green light.

Franky's cannon was reaching full charge, but only Caesar was close enough to see the lasers in his eyes flicker between red and green.

The metal man's head twitched, as if struck with a thrown stone. Face contorting in outrage and then going slack.

"… ssh 160.244.233::8088… rsa key…" The hollow voice of the Cyborg droned quietly.

"ps aux | grep -i main_app | awk {'print $2'} | xargs kill -9"

The deck was consumed with light as the energy blast went off.

Caesar rubbed his eyes, blinking and trying to rid the light glare. Blinded, but slowly regaining sight.

The thud of a body hitting the deck had him on alert.

Chopper lay on the deck in his normal form, a large smoking burn wound on his back.

The little deer wasn't getting up.

Black Leg looked on in utter horror, cigarette falling, hand outstretched.

In this moment of shock, the final blow came.

Haki flowed and the martial artist's leg became black as night. She spun, and a devastating ax drop kick collided.

The cook fell and Franky stood as still as a statue.

Straw Hat's angry shouts filled the air as he struggled with the dark rope that bound him. Furiously writhing on the deck in vain.

"Captain, we don't have much time. Maelstrom is gonna roll in soon and the Joss brothers are onto us." A strong yet melodious voice spoke and Caesar was shocked to see it was the huge woman speaking.

Now that she was closer, he could see she had blue eyes and long blond hair in a braid. She wasn't a beauty like the Harpy, but comely. Simple clothing, but made of heavy material. Massive sandals, brown breeches and a blue tunic.

The rancher nodded and surveyed the scene while nursing his shoulder with a frown.

"Barda, TyLee. Round 'em up into a pile. Ashley, glue any wounds you find shut and then trap 'em." There was a pause as the stone still cyborg was observed.

"You got this one under control? Can you make him help with the round up?" There was a slow nod from the hooded figure and Franky lurched forward.

Each step, halting and unnatural as bits of code dribbled out in a flat voice, eyes glowing green.

The fighter slung Robin over her shoulder and dragged Black Leg by the ankle to the center of the ship.

Ashely, the cowboy had called her, was pouring glue over the massive burn wound on Chopper's back.

With huge strides, the big woman made her way to collect Brooke and the shadow man spoke up.

"Le skeleton has powers to leave his body. Put sea stone on him Barda. Else, he'll strike us when our pants are le down." He said with a voice as smooth as silk and yet with undertones of friendly mirth, but, beneath all that, something Caesar could spot anywhere, the cold sharp steel of a survivor.

Big Barda nodded and grabbed the battered skeleton with one hand.

"Oh! My dear lady! Would you mind giving back my arm and leg? I need those. Also…" Brooke twisted and somehow managed to shoot a charming smile while hanging upside-down.

"May I look at your panties?" Barda came to a full stop and looked down with a pause.

"... Maybe later." Blood ran out the nose and over a stunned face as he was hauled over to the rubber boy and bound with extra lasso.

All the while, Straw Hat was still shouting and railing at the Invaders.

"Umbra, good work keeping blondie off our backs. How you hold'in up? Think you can make the jump?" The shadow man nodded and slowly flexed. Testing the extent of his injuries.

Caesar crouched behind the crates, frozen in shock.

The Straw Hats lay defeated.

The fighter, TyLee, dropped Black Leg with a thud beside Chopper. Robin was set gently onto the deck with care.

Franky lumbered back, an irate Zorro statue in his hands.

Umbra picked up and dragged Usopp forward by the underarms.

Soon, all but one of the Straw Hats were encased with glue or bound by the black lasso. The rubber Captain still shouting bloody murder. Nami lay bonelessly near him, blood trickling from her head onto the deck.

"Alright then, let's go. Umbra, get us outa here." The rawhide commanded as he gestured his lizard dog to his side and mounted.

The little girl ran forward with the rancher's missing hat in hand, jumping up and down, calling out to be picked up by the cowboy.

"We are missing some pirates Captain." TyLee stated, eyes flitting over the captured bodies.

"TyLee is le right. We are missing le loud beauty and le creepy bastard." The cowboy leaned down and scooped up Ashley and placed her in front of him. Hat was returned to him.

"We got enough bounty here to cover us for the next few months and then some. Let's not get greedy and get smoked by the storm, the Joss brothers or somebody else again. Focus on turning 'em over. We can't afford to lose another score, especially with how long this one took to set up, 'cause somebody couldn't throw a wrench in an engine right. Jump us Umbra." The shadow man held up his hands in defense.

"Oui! You not see how many le buttons and lights on that thing! I like to see you try!" As they bickered, the shadows at Umbra's feet swelled and spread along the deck.

Then, as if they all stood in water, the strangers and the captured Straw Hat's sank into the shadows.

Gone, with only the wreckage of the fight to prove it happened.

Caesar's mind spun. A wicked plan formed.

Now, now was the time.

He leaned over and looked for the Red Harpy's pulse.

Caesar found it, weak and fluttering, but good enough. Chains rattled as he stood and picked up the feather light woman.

Glee bubbled up as he made his way towards the medbay. Small giggles at first, quickly growing out of control. Steps swaying as he was soon wracked with manic laughter, Red Harpy's blood staining his lab coat at the shoulder.

Clouds darkened and gales began to blow in as the foretold storm approached. Waves swelled, causing the Sunny to bob aimlessly. Sails over filled with wind, canvas rattling, threatening to rip. Ropes snapped as they became taught. The ship's wheel clattered as it spun out of control.

Malice stood tall in Caesar, a malevolent smile on a lovely face as she held massive hounds, snarling with toxic fangs and baying for blood in one hand. In the other, a withered olive branch.

One way, or another, Caesar would get what was his.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 _General_ \- So, I did call up the marines asking if they had any antagonists available but they were too busy being inflexible and boring. Other pirates in the area, well, they're rather similar and there's alot of them lying around already. However, Bounty Hunters, that doesn't show up all that often, if ever, in Oda's world. You'd think that with bounties that high all over the place there would be bounty hunters behind every bush. A dangerous profession but the people who would take it up are bound to have interesting or dire reasons to do so.

 _The Show Must Go On_ \- Worry not, I write for this tale every weekday on the train. I get about three to four paragraphs done on my commute each day. What takes the longest is the proof reading part, it's hard to do on a smartphone. It is strange, this story is just burning a hole in my head, clawing it's way onto the page. That has never happened before. A mix of inspiration and support from all of you. You comments are making my style change and improve and fan the flames of creativity like nothing else. I actually just finished sitting down and rereading the previous chapters. chapter one is so different from these recent chapters.

 _Hell's Bells_ \- By the by, did you guys know that Oda said that horns can occur naturally for humans? One of you taught me that! For the sake of this story, Caesar's horns are a side effect of his devil fruit. In Oda's story they might be natural though. Also, this site does not allow for IP addresses to be saved in text body. Wow. I wonder what the use case for that feature is.


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